My Friend the Chauffeur

the oldness of everything else. We went there to grumble because, after we had done the ruined castle (and i

ur, with a smell of perfectly new plaster in the air, and plu-perfectly old newspapers on the table. According to him, Joseph was an absolutely unique villain, with a combination of deceit, treache

like in several characteristics, and it would be an interesting study in motor lore to discover whether they've all-by a sing

eved anything," br

feurs I ever met have been utterly unable to calculate time or provide for future emergencies. They're pessimists at the moment of an a

and drawled, "Well, you are better qualified to judge the br

s why I spoke in Joseph's defence. A fellow-feeling makes us wondrous kind,

stick by that creature-man, woman, or dog-through thick and thin. And funnier still, he is sorry for her. Well, it all comes into my game of d

ing on those new chairs in that new parlour. At last Sir Ralph Moray proposed that we should have lunch; and we had it, with delicious trout as new as the dish on which

e able to finish in time to start by four o'

ngs which must have been shocking, for Sir Ralph and Mr. Bar

ady hours ago, or else he didn't see why we should atta

cold, Mr. Barrymore turned to Mamma and proposed that we should start directl

s till bed time, was too much even for Mamma's wish to please Titled Opportunity Number

he said. We must go on, dine at Cuneo, and he would meet us at the hotel there, which he could easily do, as, when once his automobile was itself again, it would travel at more than twice the speed of ours. "Especially up hill," he added. "The landlor

iles. But Mr. Barrymore's expression would have put spirit into a mock turtle. "I know what the gradients are," he said, "and what we can do. To show that I'm an exception which proves the rule I laid dow

up at Cuneo," said the Prince, "and so, if you ple

ss was bidding us au revoir, as we settled ourselves in our luggage-wreathed c

ut really it was only one o'clock, for we'd lunched at twelve, and all the a

id that was for the three ladies to arrange. Of course, Maida must have wanted to be in front, but she is so horribly unselfish that she glories in sacrificing herself, so she gave up as meekly as if she had been a lady's-maid, or a dormouse, and naturally I felt a little b

t came on. To-day, when we had left Tenda a little way bel

rfully to itself, forging steadily up. It was so nice having nothing to drag that, by comparison with yesterday afternoon, we moved like a ship under full sail; but suddenly the road reared up on its hind feet and stood almost erect, as thou

e been too polite to put questions about the thing's behaviour, for fear Mr. Barrymore might think I hadn't proper

urt up on third speed any more," said he. "I shall put on the

s we turned a shoulder of the mountain, coming in sight of a railroad dep?t, a high embankment, a

ted in a hundred zigzags across the face of the mountain from bottom to top.

u see on the top shelf of the mountain, standing up there on the sky-line like the ark on Ararat. All this country is tremendously fortified by both the French and Italian

began to wade jerkily through a thick layer of loose stones that

at I could purr, for purring has always struck me as the most thorough way of expressing satisfaction. When other people are in automobiles, and you are walking or jogging past with a pony, you glare and think what insufferable vehicles they are; but when you're spinning, or even jolting, along in one o

lovely jewel on the street, which you aren't sure won't be claimed by somebody else. I was trying to think wh

t, though there's many a twenty-four horse-power car that wouldn't rise to it. By Jove, this i

instant. But Mr. Barrymore explained that he wasn't deserting the ship; and he walked quickly along by the side of the car, t

ore had let her, but he told us all to sit still, so we

l and vault into space with us in her lap, one would have been struck dumb with admiration of its magnificence. As a matter of fact, we were all three dumb as m

croup. When she gasped, we gasped too; when she seemed to falter, we involuntarily strained as if the working of our muscles could aid hers. All our bodies sympathized with the effo

coil of rope lay looser, curled on itself. The mountain-top crowned by the fort (which as Mr. Barrymore said, did certainly look like the ark on Ararat when all the rest of creation was swept off the g

anger of giving the motor palpitation of the heart. "

could see heaven, a far, shining city on a mountain-top like one of these. How much harder we would strive after worthiness if we

ma?" I asked. "Did the big mou

life here." As she went on to expound her parable, she lowered her voice, so that Sir Ralph and Mr. Barrymore, walking, couldn't catch a word. "In those days at home, it would have seemed as impossible that we could have p

eristic of the heads themselves that I chuckled with glee, and our two men glanced round questioningly. But in

ountain, and was not at home in its own high house. We were less cold than we had been; and when presently the worst of the zigzags were past and a great black tunnel-mouth in

biggest of everything in our country, but I

est thing to loo

ards ahead, where the way was lit up and the arch of close-set stones glimmered grey, the blackness would have been unbroken had it not been for the tunnel-lights. They went on and on in a sparkling line as far a

The near ones were balls of light under swaying umbrellas of ink-black shadow; and sometimes we would flash past gre

uch to our surprise, we ran into a track of greasy mud which made

explained Mr. Barrymore, who had heard Maida make that remark. And the hateful creatures had so honeycombe

mething that objected to us!" Mamma shrieked, her voice all but d

e vasty deep"-to use a quotation of Sir Ralph's-som

s our front lamp pointed it out to our start

, walking on his hind legs, with some one in a cart behin

narrowness of the tunnel, the yapping of our little dog, the shouts of the man in the cart, and the strangeness of the picture ahead-just

ve known that. But the first thing I was really sure of was that Mr. Barrymore had n

l he seemed tired of dancing about as if he were popcorn over a hot fire. Then, when he had quieted down, and remembered that his forefeet were given him to walk with and not to paw the air, Mr. Barrymore led

, but it seems to belong to the nicest, kindest man I ever met

le, as he eventually drove by, we

ou, Mr. Barrymore," said Mamma,

him a little to keep up her dignity as a Countess. But it was a good sign that she should remember his name for once. As for me, I've given him one for use behind his back,

sympathy from behind. It would have been sheer brutality not to stop motor and all for that poor white chap. He won't be as bad next time; and perhaps his master will have learn

ne straight behind. It was like having one's foresight as good as one's hindsight; which in real life, outside tunnels, would sav

by-and-by, but it was a glorious shock, with a thrill as

? Anyway, there they were, hundreds of them apparently, looking something as a huge

felt as if I had been struck by lightning; but always our chauffeur steered so as to give plenty of margin between our tyres and the edge of the precipice; and b

, for heaven's sake...!" wailed Mamm

on. I wondered whether he were cross with Mamma for seeming to doubt his skill, or whether something else was the matter. But instead of fading away, the expression seemed to harden. He looked just as I should think

h we would have to risk before we reached human-level (if we ever reached it) that my heart pounded like a hammer in my side. It was a terrible sensation,

I gave a sigh of relief; for it was one

uspicions were confirmed by Mr. Barrymore's answer, thrown over his s

owed me that she wasn't really half as anxious as I was. But if she could have seen Mr. Barrymore's profile, and had the inspiration to read it as I did, she would probably have jumped out of the automob

passed some barracks, where a lot of sturdy little mountain soldiers stopped bowling balls in a dull, stony square to watch us fly by. We frighte

wouldn't have been with cowardly fear. Partly, perhaps, the strange exhilaration came from the beauty of the world on which we were descending almost as if we were falling from the sky. I felt tha

ent to moment, as she talked to Mamma or Sir Ral

ight, telling her never to come back unless she could bring an apronful of strawberries for her stepsister. The poor girl wandered on and on in the dark in a terrible storm, until at last she strayed to a wild mountain-top, where the twelve Months lived. Some were old men, wrapped in long cloaks; some were young and ardent; some were laughing boys. With a stroke of his staff, each Month could make what he wou

ous when I glanced up furtively at that tight-set mouth of Mr. Barrymore's. And after that, to look down from a frame of snow mountains through a pinky-white haze of plum, ch

ary downhill road. Our car slackened speed, and finally, as we came upon the first lon