I'm Not Guilty of Murder

, try

ut towards me. I leaned over and took a sip of the

med. ‘That tast

ell you I c

ruly sorry that I d

or dessert I have a really nic

k him with the tea towel, b

ere’s nothing I

and relax,’ he replied.

review a week’s worth of photos since I’d arrived at Calum’s apartment fo

do me a quick fav

urse,’

open the sliding doors? We can eat ove

, which was an impressive dish of lamb cho

bread roll when Calum’s phone buzzed violently on the table. He s

vered in soap suds, when I felt Calum’s

whispered i

le dis

ha

home. Stay

im, expecting a playful w

, including how I’d explain it to Jason, what would you say to the security

ght off,’ he said. ‘The

out this before,’ I said. ‘It’

ave to tell you it’s n

to the table to collect th

ou feel bad

I thought about the woman Cal

trying to protect her. If anyone had told me then that the cops would be the ones to leak our affair to the press, I probably would have called them paranoid, too. But it’s not paranoia if it’s true. The police were the only ones who knew about us, a

d, and I shifted

hing happening again. Not to you. All it takes is one news story for everything to go crazy, so please don’t

I do understand, honestly, and I appreci

t want you to lose sight of why

ch as I’d love to. I have to go home to Jason. And

but she sent me a message,’ h

d then read, ‘“Won’t be home tonigh

with

a with; she doesn’t tell me their real names. Plausible deniability or somethin

laying with me, but there was no hint o

you even stay together when both of you are sleeping

‘What makes you so much better, when you’re sleeping with me? At least

clutched

you call it? So as long she tells you she’s cheating then it’s totally fine.

wards me and stopped when our faces were too clos

to make our marriage work for both of us, and just because it doesn’t fit into your little idea of what a relationship should be, you immediately get all self-righteous and judgy. Claire and I are honest with each other.

now, voice rising, brows mee

r husband, you’re lying to him. You’re waiting for life to make your decisions for you rather than knowing what you want and owning that choice. If you don’t want me to judge you and

say. When he spoke again, his voice was

ws. I just thought

tears that suddenly stung my eyes. I wanted to scream, to defend myself, but I knew that if I o

nd walked towards the door, bli

way across his apartment. I expected to hear footsteps following me,

rmed out of Calum’s apartment, pulling the door forcefully. But the door, obviously designed t

ruciating silence. I managed a tight smile as the light flashed, then hurried into the elevator. When I reached

s escaping from the depths of my lungs. I was a mess, but at least I was an anonymous mess; ju

pable joy. Wiping my nose on the back of my arm, I walked purposefully towards my favourite part of the park, a flower garden near the Albert Memorial. I could never explain why I

carefully turned Calum’s words over in my head. Malicious. Deceitful. Se

as. But that didn’t mean

t it felt like one day I was happily married, innocently getting on with my life, a

I inevitably needed to make. I’d ignored my conscience as it tugged like an impa

ake this decision for me, a

r his forgiveness and spend the rest of my life trying to prove my love for him. Or, at the very least,

utcome in the world, bein

r seeing Calum again, never looking into those eyes, never joki

h him, and I didn’t kn

ly … I did