The Disentanglers

t thoroughfare of cooperative palaces, Pall Mall. The furniture was battered and dingy; the sofa on which Logan sprawled had a certain historic interest: it was c

maintained a difficult equilibrium on the slippery sofa. Both men were of an age between twenty-five and twenty-nine, both were pleasant to the eye. Merton was, if anything, under the middle height: fair, slim, and active. As a freshman he had coxed his College Eight, later he rowed Bow in that vessel. He had won the Hurdles, but been beaten by his Cambridge opponent; he had taken a fair second in Greats, was believed to have been 'runner

on the ancestral traditions. But any satisfaction that he derived from them was, so far, all that his birth had won for him. His little

ng on the Great Idea! The peace of families insured, at a trifling premium. Innocence rescued. The defeat of the subtlest crimin

igration or the wor

shers. My only available assets, a little Greek and less Latin, are drugs in the

for lessons in the Englis

; oh distant cousin of a marquis! Consequently by rich

here is there an opening, a demand, for the broken, the s

oned "too high-toned for

ecretaryship of a gol

xchequer! I reckon that there are two million

agency,' Lo

of something new! Think of a felt want, as the Covenanting divine calls it: a r

we ran a hair-restorer. The ground bait is too expensive. I say, I

aph on him the

was no felt want of potted shri

ey, the quest, consists merely in irrelevancies and

n a Channel boat, with 4,000l. a year; and ther

eople. I could not have faced the row

, to stop it. Not eligible, Peter was not, however you took him,' Loga

at parents, still less guardians, can

tunity of the indigent male struggler.

sters, the girls "on the make,"' said Merton. 'What a lot of o

deceased marchionesses make a fuss. In fact ma

ly row that I never coul

kely to drop int

aid Logan a

it, and she-she could not st

ffections simply poison the lives of parents and guardians, aye, and of the children too. The aged are now

o his feet and

ll my brain. Hush! I have it,' and he sat down aga

at?' ask

nt. But the

tisements!' su

er them. I can sell my

editions will pay for. Why, even

so widely felt, acutely felt too: hair is

ffles for me! If it is venal physicians to kill off ri

," as Tennyson says: nice girls, well born

nt them for? To

mplices,' said Merto

at blackmail. Besides, they would starve first, good girls would

to be incapable of practices, however lucrative, which involve taint of crime. I

ve to describe their friends' parties in The Leidy's News. Trying for places as golfing governesses, or bridge governesses, or gymnastic mistresses at girls' schools, or lady laundresses, or typewriters, or

aintance? The girl's,

asionally me

there is Mary Willoughby, who got a second in history when I was up. She woul

ix. But what for?

e widely felt want, which i

tha

calculated to meet every requirement and cope with eve

What the deuce is

were talk

salmon?' Logan re

asses. Harsh words. Refusals to allow meetings or correspondence. Broken hearts. Improvident marriages. Preaching down a daughter's heart, or an aged parent's h

what?' s

. But they won't be to our disadvantage, the reverse-if they don't hap

d, 'or shall I pour this whisky an

s feet, menac

er boys. We are men-broken men. Sit d

plain, or

er becomes an?mic; foreign cures are expensive and no good. Son goes to the Devil or the Cape. Aged and opulent, but amorous, parent leaves everything he can scrape together

e you going

oke, all without visible means of subsistence. They are people welcome in country houses, but travelling third class, and devilishly perplexed about how to tip the servants, how to pay if they lose at bridge, and so forth. We enlist them, we send them out on demand, carefully se

the person, man or woman, who deserts the inconvenient A.-I put an A. B. case-falls in love with your agent B., and you

s very well. Our comrade and friend, man or woman, gets a chance of a good marriage, and, Logan, there is

wouldn't. Your

. You have heard of the epoch-making discovery of Jenner, and its beneficent

ook,' Logan remonstrated. 'Ever

measures have been adopted, with more or le

are in danger of personal suffering

ant, Monsieur Janet, says that nobody ever falls in love except wh

or you,' Logan

overs young, whose loves are disapproved of by the family, will fall in love with our agents, insist on marrying the

and crushing at th

thing akin to vaccination,' Merton explained. 'The

ow

disentangling the affections of the patients, curing them of one attack, will accept their addresses,

prevent them if t

ional region of our strangely b

you. You keep on repeati

the strength of youth." So, you see, our agents will be quite safe not to crown the flame of the patients, not to accept them, if they do propose, or expect a proposal. "Every security from infection guaranteed." There is the felt want. Here is the remedy; not warranted absolutely painless, but salutary, and tending to the amelioration of the species. So we have only to enlist the agents,

t an entire set of clubs by Philp. Guaran

e are like Palissy the potter, feeding his

one of these novels where you begin by collecting desper

on replied. 'Patronise British industries. We

would have been if he had not got that Professorship of Toxico

een useful. What a lively girl, re

Logan asked: 'how are you to be

ranted. We must give a dinner (a preliminary expense) to promising collaborators, a

ey in it, but there is a kind

nk there wi

om cabbies driving about, and picking up men and women that look

f the Disentanglers shall never be stained by-anything. You know some likely agents: I know some likely agents. They will suggest other

xed up with the press to keep an oath

n itself with religious terrors. Good form-we shall appeal to a "sense of form"-now s

nts and others could work it for themselves. I dare say they do. When they see the affections of a son, or a daughter, or a bereaved

ightning conductor (who is old, or plain, or stupid, or familiar, at best), and they won't look at him or her. Now our Disentanglers are not going to be plain, or dull, or old, or stale, or commonplace-we'll take

'But decent people will think the whole speculation shady. How a

Merton

erences. Unexceptionable references

more in advertisements, but my phrase at once enlists the sympathy of every liberal and elegant mind. But as to

th?a-Marchione

the most recklessly up-to-date in London. She

and my aunt,

one who left her money to t

cousin, widely removed, by marriage. She is American, you

t will be in what I fear she will call "the new departure

ell. The best old thing: a beautiful monument of old gentility,

's daughter, who married the patent soap man. Elle est

ady patronesses. We mus

clients blab?'

be laughed at consumedly. It will be

will see it in that light.'

tter opinion of

mate affairs, will have too much to lose by talking about them. They may not come

an in mournful tones. 'May the morrow's reflections

,' said Mer

ting the scheme. 'If collaboration consists in making objections, as the French novelist said,

ange of light and survived the inspiration of alcohol. Logan looked i