The Idiot

said the Idiot one spring morning, as he took

sery, and it is even conceivable that you would be receiving those disciplinary attentions with a slipper that yo

you are, Mr. Pedagog! It is a good thing

spectacles-"what has given rise to that extraordinary remark, the connection of whi

make too severe a judge in a criminal court," replied the Idiot, meekly. "Do you make use

, pray?" sai

r Bolus here is under no obligation to speak more grammatically or correctly than he does. People call him in to prescribe, not to indulge in rhetorical periods, and he can write

this embryonic Samuel Johnson the Second. What have I said

irl that she is plainly pretty, meaning of course that she is evidently pretty; but those who are unacquainted with the idiomatic peculiarities of your speech might ask you if you meant that she was pretty in a plain sort of way. Suppose, too, you were writing a novel, and, in a desire to give your reader a fair idea of the personal appearance of a homely but good creature, you should say, 'It cannot be denied that Rosamond Follansbee was pretty pl

t I ever knew!" s

ve not heeded the Scriptural injunction that you shou

and silence reigned for a few minutes. Finally Mrs. Pedagog spoke, and in the manne

ly imbibed. "There is hope for the landlady yet. If she can be embarrassed

he genial gentleman, not quit

Idiot. "Let's hear how she

oor suite, and I don't know whether I ough

e Idiot; and then he added, aloud, "And w

actor; Junius Brutus

comedian?" asked

ho knows every railroad tie in

s name sounds familiar enough, though. I thought

lightly at his own humor, "and I've heard of Davenport, but Juniu

a tragedian, or a comedian, or a familiar figure to railroad men," said

e more timid than otherwise, though essentially amiable. I knew a tragedian once who, after killing seventeen Indians, a road-agent, and a gross of cowboys between eight and ten P.M. every night for sixteen weeks, working six nights a week, was afraid of a mild little soft-shell crab that lay def

said Mr. Whitechoker, with dignity, "that in any event a

in our midst, it would not be very long before we became part of the drama ourselves. Mrs. Pedagog would find herself embarrassed once an hour, instead of, as at present, once a century. Mr. Whitechoker would hear of himself as having appeared by proxy in a roaring farce before our comedian had been with us two months. The wise sayings of our friend the School-Master would be s

N TO REHEARSIN

ut proves the truth of my assertion that s

d at any time to hear the fire-engines rushing up to the front door, and to see our comedian scaling the fire-escape with Mrs. Pedagog and her account-books in his arms, simply in the line of rehearsal. If he were impersonating a detective after a criminal masquerading as a good citizen, the S

I HAVE H

tate ever since this soliloquy of yours began-that in any event, whether this person be a tragedian, or a comedian, or a walking gentleman, or a riding gentleman in a circus, I object

e, and why exclude it, granting that no one objects? The men whose lives are given over to the amusement of mankind, and who are willing to place themselves in the most outrageous situations night after night in order that we may for the time being seem to be lifted out of the unpleasant situations into which we have got ourselves, are in my opinion doing a noble work. The theatre enables us to woo forgetfulness of self successfully for a fe

acceded to, and Mr. Whitechoker's health was drank in coffee, after which the Idiot requested the genial gent

o buy the tickets, I'll take you around to the Criterion to-night, where he is playing. I don't know wh