Serpentine Desires

reaming at me for being a superwoman last night and my buttocks wer

t with a broken elbow and sprained foot, but broken glasses too. I got them fixed before moving to Russia, and now it'd take another sum of money to repair them. G

wel. I quickly averted my eyes, feeling my cheeks warming. Despite the Russian co

I don't have enough time to rush to the cafeteria," I muttered to myself, grabbing the assignment

or those embarrassing moments. Oh wait, that's just wishful thinking. But seriously, what else could it be? Di

it'd just have to join the ranks of

y?" I looked over my shoulder as she ex

ers brushed against mine and I couldn't help bu

leaving me standing there like a startled flamingo. "You can hel

f rocket fuel. Well, at least it matched the intensity of my impending panic attack at the thought of helping her

e mirror as she blow-dried her hair. "...Of course..." Why did she have to look like a go

can hit the club or go to a

just one night, and being the cool girl. Having a group of friends to chill around, having cute coffee dates, going on

d time nor money

this assignment r

mastered while I struggled just to stay on my feet. I wasn't saying I'm different from other girls, not in a way that implies

t of my reality. Bills needed paying, responsibilities demand

you." I managed a small smil

he styled her hair. And the

ch as anyone else. But life had a way of pulling me back to the ground, reminding me that my journey was different

art. But as I grew older, we parted ways. Or perhaps it was when I lost my father that they realized I didn't have money to spend on outings a

rwhelming guilt. I should have been able to do more, to protect and support her. So, I took on my first part-time job at a nearby cleaning station, working long hours for eleven months. I felt so proud the day I handed over my saved money

burdens, to give her a home of our own, and to hire someone to help with the chores so she wo

ery night, tormented by the uncertainty of how she'd pay our next month'

eliant. I became so used t

ans. Trying not to think about Texas, I hurriedly grasped my

ip g

forgetting my lip balm. Even if I was to die today, I'

. "Bye, Bye

I smacked them together before rushin

**

so tired and already wanted to go home. Home. A bittersweet ache

, I couldn't follow. Maybe it was the language barrier, or maybe it was knowing that, at the end of the day, I'd have

marks or touching the maximum bar, depending on my interest in the subject. And this particular subjec

ind. The next professor was twenty minutes late, and till then I made a mental note

, making me feel like an outcast. Friends gathered in tight groups, sharing jokes, go

ate, her friends hanging on every word, their giggles ringing out

emed to shrink beneath me, the gap between me and everyone else growing wider. I t

t with laughter. For a moment, she looked my way and smiled, a brief connection that warmed me. But

ve friends, to be someone's

my earphones listening to podcasts

your life on a scale

depe

ds on

availability, the weather, whether or n

's the sc

WiFi is acting up, and someone just spoiled the ending of t

hat bad

a 2. But then I found a chocolate bar in

owd. What woul

nlimited data, and maybe a unicorn. But honestly, I'd settle for

he only people I could relate to. She's f

what's it like bei

the safety harness is questionable, the tracks are missing i

unds...

ntly on the verge of a nervous b

u do to cope w

s, perform dramatic readings of my spam emails, and occasionally

tato? That's

ied it. Sometimes you just nee

fe hacks you'

surdity of it all, and never underestimate the power of a good nap. Oh,

r laughed with

the chittering around me had died down, leaving me as

taken by surprise, I almost threw my arms at the intruder, like a startled

ioning for a dramatic entrance in a movie. I slowly looked around to find the whole class pin-drop sil

that just pri

in the path of her laser-beam gaze. Maybe a quick escape to Narnia o

od?" Ms Olga's voice sliced through the

eeks flushing crimson as I fumbl

ood," she interrupted, her

very eye boring into my soul. My mind raced, desperately searching for a w

t the day I'd win any a

apology would somehow dissolve the tension hanging in the air like a thick fog. But judg

mmediately cradled it against m

ve me one last glare and fixed her g

arrassed, I bent down to grab the earbuds, my hands clumsy with nervousness. Naturally, I managed to drop them again. "For heaven's sake," I mutt

ive earbud when a hand beat me to it. Startled, I jolted up

I rubbed the sore spot, feeling my fac

ne tugging at my sleeve. Jolting in surprise, I looked down to see a face peering under the table, grinning widely. "Lo

to take the earbud. My fingers brushed his as I retrieved it, and I q

sound casual as I sat back up, sti

th as he scram

as if it might explode. His soft green eyes were as round and bright as a startled owl's, and his wide grin made him look like he'd just won a lifetime supply of cheeseburg

le over my internal panic orchestra. Why was

barrassing myself and then spontaneousl

t together,

estic, socially awkward potato who's currently failing at huma

he seemed immune t

scribbling in my notebook like it held the secrets of the universe. Unfortunately, all that came out was a

ce betraying my nervousness like a trai

ly, the laws of genetics being explained by Ms Olga might as well have been in Martian for all the attention I was paying. Ivan was so close that I could see the flecks of gold in his

f my seat, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks like a pair of overripe tomatoes. And just when I thought t

g through me. Before I could react, Ivan's hand darted out and ca

shoes, I wished they could swallow me whole. My face flushed even more, and my fingers fidgeted nervously.

hair like he was auditioning for a shampoo commercial. "I'm from Moscow. How about y

d of hair behind my ear nervously. "But I've live

back in his seat and focusing on the front. "I don't know in what r

or the science program. I, uh, I'm really into genetics, even though

. "Science and engineering, quite the combination." His face l

laughed n

been here lo

l getting used to everything. Th

d any help or just want to hang out, let me know. I've be

u," I said, genuinely grateful

th a timid smile. "So what do

and I'm really into reading

e replied, my fingers still nervously playing with my

ou some of my work so

y eyes lighting up briefly

"Looks like we both

eeling a mixture of exc

ell rang, and Ms. Olga wrapped up the class. "M

rns us all to stone with her glare." My

ter," I stuffed my

e called from

o go, or, do

th him, to make new friends, but I also couldn't shake the nagging voice in the back of my mind telling me to stay quiet, to blend into th

, Seraphina!" he said

, and drawing attention to myself, filled me with a sense of dread. What if people saw me for who I really was and didn't like what they saw? What if th

**