The Confession of a Child of the Century - Complete

d yet I delayed; some secret i

e time he entered the room. How is it th

were they both so sad? Why was I as motionless as a statue where I had formerly been violent? Every evening in bed I said to

hen she heard his voice in the hall she came and sat on my knees. As for him, it seemed to me he was always making an effort to control himself.

ing on the river; some thirty boats were crowded together under the bridge, when suddenly one of the occupants of a boat near mine thr

about the pier; then I returned to the surface for breath, then resumed my horrible search. I was filled with hope and terror; the thought that I might fe

f his marked traits. I have already remarked that I felt it on the

at the bottom of some chance experience. It is called "knowing the world," and experience is purchased at that price. Some recoil in terror before that

, horrible to say! they mistake love for the livid corpse they have found at the bottom of the river. They seize it, feel it, clasp it in their arms; they are drunk with the desire to know; they no longer look wit

them and burst into laughter. Shall I say it? Do they not raise, for some pieces of silver, the vesture of chastity, that robe so full of mystery, which respects the being it embellishes and engirds her without touching? What idea can they have of the world? They are like comedians in the greenroom. Who, more than they, is skilled in that delving to the bottom of things, in that groping at once profound and impious? See how they speak of everything; always in terms the most

lest the hum of the busy world should suddenly startle them from sleep. The father allows his son to go where so many others go, where Cato himself went; he says that youth is but fleeting. But when he returns, the youth looks

as does an architect who adjusts a column, and thus strive to find what they desire to find. Given proof of evil, they laugh at it; doubtful of evil, they swear that it exists; the good they refuse to recognize. "Who knows?" Behold the grand formula, the first words that Satan spoke when he saw heaven closing against him. Alas! for how many evils are those words responsible? How many disasters and

I delay? What would have been the result if I had started at once on our trip? Nothing but a moment of apprehension that would have been forgotte

been the end of it. A kiss on her lips and all

the morning I happened to approach her table, and, sitting beside the teapot, I saw but one cup. No one had been in that room before me that morning,

y late?" I ask

about m

e or did you call so

every one in the

ous lover so stupid as to inquire what has become of a cup? Why seek to discover whet

nd threw it on the floor with such violence that it broke

with a coldness that had something of contempt in it, and I saw that she treated Smith wi

said after dinner; "shall we go to the ope

ent out. I remained alone all evening; I had paper before me, and

hey could tell me something. I revolved in my mind all the things I had heard and seen; from time to time I went to the door and cast my eyes over our trunks which had been piled against the wall for a month; I opened them and examined the contents so carefully packed away by those delicate little han

s and in spite of what he sees, he can conjure up a hundred objects of woe. In truth his brain resembles the dungeons of the Inquisition, where the walls are covered with so many instruments of torture that one

er?"-"Fool! What does it matter so long as you know that she loves you?"-"If she loves me why is she sad?"-"That is her secret, respect it."-"If I take her away with me, will she be happy?"-"Love her and she will be."-"Why, when that man looks at her, does she seem to fear to meet his glance?"-"Because she is a woman and he is young."-"Why does that youn

r ways have been evil."-"If my ways were evil, was it my fault? Why did the good betray me?"-"Because you are in the shadow, would you deny the existence of light? If there are traitors, why are you one of them?"-"Because I am afraid of becoming the dupe."-"Why

re defiant and terrible; and then a third voice cried out!