Forward, Children!
autumn rain, falling out of a d
893-1921. Orville warped his hat to shed the rain and tried to button his makeshift coat closer, broken umbrella hooked over one arm, umb
trying to flip its calendar, turn it back to another rainy day in June, when Robert had been wounded at B
, his cousin, Marcel ... graves under leafless Lombardies. The rain made him resentful of the place and of death. The ground was spongy; the sod could absorb little more; he kicked at weeds with a quic
. You might have been a pretty fair provincial lawyer. The rain has had you a long ti
ong,
e to mind, young face, maybe like his own. Moustache. Blond moustache. A tall man, lean, a h
lon
shore, moved without any apparent effort, its reflection
re ... swans ... chateau swans ... and when Rousseau said
trec's house had thrilled him, when the spire on the stone church had prodded more than clouds. In t
Cobbled streets fanned out from the figure. The statue was unchanged. The c
own as it had years a
nged against his leg as he began to walk faster, hust
ing for Orville, his bearded face close to a window. Orville, glancing at the
ed! Mon dieu, Or
e cemetery," Orville said, and handed Claude his u
k way ... the fron
ven't been able to find anyone to repair them. Come wit
antry, perturbed by the house, somehow stif
I'll bring your clothes, the things that
how has l
gh, I guess ..
t gotten ma
my a
aughter, the restrain
d y
e. Seven years since I was
odded, re
sure of himself, trying to
... I sometimes..
ut some pots of water on the stove ... you see the boiler isn't working for the bathtub." He found it hard to
Copper pots and copper spoons decorated a wall. The fire was crackling in the stove; th
ttered down
espectful: his beard was longer and whiter. Annette was in the village but what had delayed the Rondes? Where
through bombed streets, past the British Museum spewing books and walls, blocking the street, one siren triggering another until
he light played on his naked body. Dumping dirty water down the sink he poured him
es; stopping in the doorway he en
ne to repair the
ss this is where I scru
the hot
Therèse be
hink
t could rain so
he bus? Did they let you
t off in the
ve gone to the ce
anted to look arou
ng them carefully--the valet's touch. He hoped everything wou
asn't so much the redness, it was the ragged shape of the thing. Bichain had the face of a Pole; his Cracow ancesto
e explosion during training at camp. It was pleasant picking up his clothes from the table, holding
to telephon
kay ... Claude had
be good after all, this leav
ht to shut o
of the fire poked across the
d it. Without switching on lights or lamps, he walked across the room, hopi
as Ermenonville French and yet Orville thought of a girl i
et me the
ator was trying to identify Orvi
ment, p
d--someone, a man, spat th
do you
e of war, with
"I want to speak to Mlle. Jeannette Hi
duty, I can
he snapped out. "Important ... get
ll call you back, M. Bichai
French doors: Claude was switching on lamps, tending a fire in one of the fireplaces. Firelight blurred the walls. It was an elegant ro
antels rested on rococo Caen stone pillars. The furniture, of several
one ja
this M. Bichain? This
, J
imself round suddenly,
dar
h, it's you. Ho
. And
, you're here
ked, excited now, wanting to see he
emergency shift. Surgery. Maybe for three hours ... a bad case. I do
?" he
meet you anywhere you sa
tal car brin
with your family. Not no
morning." He wanted to say it's marvelous, hearing your voice, being in Ermenonville; she was already saying good nigh
on its hook when the phone rang. P
el
glad you are home. When did you get home? I've b
f or the connection's bad. Where are you?" He dropped into her ki
... I'm afraid I won't get back till late. Maybe not till tomorrow. Lena and I are here--we're so disa
t he sent his love to Lena and assure
in. Such a muddy road. And then our engine had to act up. Have you seen Jeannette? Have you phoned her?" She w
late or tomorrow," he explained to Claude, who was
in no
ing yo
ll let Ann
t: he and his mother had stayed several weeks during that summer. During those seven ye
ckets. Chopin's face seemed more poetical than he remembered it. The man
woodwork had been dusted and polished two thousand times and Claude had waxed the parquet--over and over. Parchment lamp shades seemed to be new. He bent over a cloisonné vase: it
d curta
o his trip, a sick and quarrelsome woman, the SS troopers play
fireplaces spread their warmth. Maybe the war was ending ... maybe it would end
upstairs,
yes as he sense
to say that su
iform, a trench helmet and a pistol, and a pair of grey gloves lay on a table beside him: he appeared to be a reticent, egocentric, stupid man. Orville remembered how d
the portrait's frame was tarnishing: pigment was flaki
ee days ago, less than seventy-two hours ago, it had been hell itself at the front: fooling with his knife, eyeing its ornate
alone like this, in
specialty of hers. He recognized the dry local wine ... he imagined, as he tasted it, the wines, brandies,
door widen
tte asked, hands pouching he
having you and Claude look after me ... lik
n Marse
's not caught in
ty ... he's ... well
twenty pounds across her stomach and another five through her bre
the antique silver service on the Louis buffet represented several periods: the flowered wallpaper and a bevy of melancholy sti
's voice. "Wh
darli
med to taste of everything good, smell of many perfumes. He helped her remove h
rds; she hugged him and kissed him on the sofa, the fire g
where's e
everybody's in the country
eating alone! Then the
. I guess they'
gee, it's
ing her against the cushions, her breasts swell
e months!"
most gi
ha
s ... you do
asn't that th
n: her fingers slid the crudely faceted amethyst round a
w Claude Bichain, standing b
he's staying at M. Placier's ... s
you,
ad," Je
t somethin
he floor, both doors open: they nodded: there were vintages and
about
" said
to the living room, Claude was adding wood to the fires: he wanted to keep both fireplaces
toasted, lift
to your l
our l
burrowed against him, tasting his brandy l
I love
nig
es
t slow
am.
ke
... y
nk everything
cour
y n
why n
wonderful girls
she
lieve
ndress yo
be able to wa
r
the forest ... the shrines ... I've seen Jean Jacques' ghost ... oh, yes, at the Lac ... ah, you and Colonel Ronde, to work things out for me here ... the hospital staff tries,
r, stalling like animals, happy animals, sure of themselves--anticipating t
shoulders ... thought of her lov
we go u
... b
kno
it see
own room ...
es
ve to return to
leven, I
l night
to, da
en.
ot so e
as
.. go on kissing ... unbutton
roof. Claude checked the fires, and said good night. They were, for all their p
floor near the f
ll go to yo
head on
d ov
ow
es
ay.
... m
le
shall we ever marry? In some architectural office will he
e--not seven bedrooms. Ours ... three
much time for home; his health had failed under demanding jobs: skinny, hard featured, hard
om came back, his smil
her b
N
tonight than we
wful that a
we go u
es
gainst the intricate carvings on the Cae
n o'clock?" he q
think a
o taxi at
... there's no
N
he opened the door to his room: a
fire," Orville
w n
ing into his mirror on his chest of drawers she saw the gun rack, rifles,
ng to make love u
a real catc
darli
admiring its floral pattern: wasn't o
ce in here,"
he pine
y before love making, to see one another: then she smothered her mouth with his and his tongue probed inside: she sensed the hardening o
and guns. Kneeling in front of her, he dragged her against him. They tot
ngers: they felt cool, wonder
nd him, clamped her arms about his neck. His hands cupped her feet. She kissed
. not now ...
and slid to the floor again; once more o
in, Jean .
ka
lt warm to him; her perspiring body was in accord with his; he clasped his fingers over her narrow buttocks; their mutual orga
lay
r," she laughed, "
hed. "We've earned
sses, he walked away, walked about the village before returning home for breakfast. After breakfast, he commenced a letter to his mother, to
t were somehow childish. The mouth smiled and yet there were wrinkles i
here, just now ... Claude said you were
othing to be upset
soaking wet, couldn't raise the top of the car ... that awful downpour ... oh, we had to bo
eyes, her glasses rimless and dual-lensed, her hair a series of grey-white streaks. Orville knew she often spoke without p
apped on
eauty, her athletic body: her face had assumed an esthetic quality
, O
... you lo
.. it's good
ssed li
asculinity: their old rapport returned at once: arms
pper last night?
" Orvil
are, writing a letter, when you should be horseback riding or playin
d Lena lau
lunch," Lena said. "Orv ... you and I ... Mama,
n the living room. Claude, at the front door, was admitting
Claude ... old
e friends," Lena explain
n alcoholic sway: "I remember you at school ... do you remember me?" Orville saw from his aunt's face that Lena's friends were tight
t plant has blueprints for bigger, more sophisticated tanks ... when the war
ked at Orville, stepping back, a lit
Ronde, vehement about the theater, the Parisian thea
ed softly with Celeste, a pretty woman wearing lavender trimmed with squirrel: her serious face was painted d
ng back?" she asked; s
" he said, flipping
my place in Senlis. I'd like to have you come; we
your bi
t Fr
over by then ... I
g the Nazis ... I despise them ... my brother has been imprisoned ... my mot
a day or two," cut in Tho
in Switzerland when you were here ... we're pretty drunk;
speaking
sh you luck ... you and your f
with us on my
urse I
ped Orvi
bathroom," she said
so this is why we're fighting a global war: is this why the
, the French, the British, the Americans! He opened his fly, scrat
joining him on a settee. "She's dead ... a good woman ... he's
unged away--with
s building a house outside of Ermenonville, mansion, I should say. He has a famous collection of Rousseau letters and manuscripts. H
se fussed at Annette. She mumbled about food shortages, prices. Lena mentioned movies and plays--entertainment current in Paris, things she wanted
meet Jeannette. In spite of yesterday's rain it was balmy and he opened his bathroom door that l
ensively, he recalled details of Milan, the shops there, pigeons swooping from rooftops, the great mural by da Vinci
luxurious? He studied the delicately painted rose buds on the basin: still the same. But the silver soap tra
am gushed through a rocky glen,
te Street ... I'll obtain contracts for homes overloo
e held a towel against his
roof, the church, the Nonette, converging, spreading. At a certain intersection he imagined meeting former friends, schoolmates. He had rejected any renewal of relationships: what have they for me or I for them? He hoped nobody would visit him at the Rondes'. He had phoned Jean so there would be no hitch, and she wa
ed on one of the paths: he shook hands with Jean
led. "I want you t
ning on his cane, t
, Orville
A
octor ... it's g
eave
as Robert Sa
ld friends, you and I ... I've changed; so have yo
charge ... t
hat I am ... is tha
she said,
d his cane to p
es ... compulsory cas
entioned th
ean ... we lack equipment. So, so you came back to France to help! My best to Mme. Ronde, and remind her of our d
. "There are many who want to talk, who make trouble." He
her in his arms. Remember her pe
ng," s
like Dr.
ssume he is
s our Albert
a hedge, half-dried daisies around them, the flowers shredded by the ra
as you
ut them in the hallways ... all kinds
en writing a letter ... as I came here Aunt Therèse stoppe
that to me ...
hat Therèse
ess s
the garden, a few of
buried her mouth in his hair, fingers on his face, wondering, vaguely, stupidly, wh
like Ermenonvi
till like
I alway
out w
to move to the States--but a job is a
cle ... he manipulated s
nch has i
ope
our acc
laug
r a walk," h
rought my coat
ll proba
hand they read the Falsum Stare non Potest and laughed because they couldn't translate. The chateau's four stubby spires and slate roof were wet, forl
ted to his
imes ... to rest .
y, tha
something
he war ..
etting
sneak off and paddle the Nonette. Such fun!" He ticked off the years since Marcel's d
ut to the island wher
how co
u know my dad's buried ne
't know
n 1918. The tank was blown up but he had
vil
As for the tanks ... fathe
at ... that's
Lac, swans paddling close to the shore, the g
war around us, the entire world at war!" He w
rld," she said. "There's a w
d a goat on a rope and they were urging him along, his bell tinkling: they seemed to be headed for the nearby cha
ent seemed to impel the island, transform it into a ship: it wa
making said so. Orville struggled with mistrust, concentrating as much as possible on the things around
your photo ... it's in my billfold ... Here, he
let me
ka
ned to your leg? Don't you
ed. That flak s
n ... ri
ur
uck's blindness, when and how it happened; she had to atte
buildings on Dalton Street, reverberating, flinging dust and sew
the hell had died down; yet next day he
somebody who knew Chuck ... so
how we met," she s
.. bad
ag
orget it,
a semi-circular building of limestone, a soft brown limestone shell, its roof and pillars in a bad way; a cou
t's falling down ... I used to play here. See that stone
ut were unable to read the
mple made f
er ... he lived in the
here lots o
the chateau? Is it
the place, the wonderful tapestries in the salon ...
d. "Canoes inste
ood with t
es, I am .
no
, New York, California. But when would mankind return to nature? Rousseau had said ...
to be in E ... lucky to be on l
d. Something, during the last half hour or so, had come between them, as if they both
hair: fog was flowing across the countryside, puffing, swirling, smok
f there's gasoline I'll come in the car
darling." The
ep w
e y
n wet, fog wet. From a rock wall fence he took in the spires of the Ronde place, fog crawling over them, the fog in the pines and chestnut and elm toward the chateau, n
ave, weedy and foggy. Lighting a cigarett
in the war what then? If all of us d
d the shrug brought back pai
moke into
in shape and size--recalled his Ithaca home: h
a stone, conside
house in Wisconsin, for Mr. William J. Bruce, geometry teacher, football star ... thr
t in the fog
aming ou
h in us. Lena has faith in the Maq
sk too muc
ee
rt of f
sse
te into the fog and he
ena was sitting in the liv
, reading. Cognac? Cordial? Whiskey?" She regarded him intently, his fog wet hat and jacket. "I g
id, standing in front of her,
," she said. "The airmen ..
at and jacke
slacks, a bird-pin at her throat, barefooted, ponytailed: sh
adn't change
.. but we've chan
can
.. but if
was just a kid. Seven years ago ... a hell
out coming bac
he time Mama's disoriented
you're one of
he jibed. "More exciting ... do
t matter in the least," he said, sitting besid
s a fighter,
for men'
assy, and narrow-slitted: she was recalling her last parachut
e heard some things! Without you ... it would be
sex conspicuous. She felt his equal, as friend, as lover. As friend and equal she could confide her Maquis experiences: as pa
houlder, her fingers moving along his collar, moving to his face. "Let's try to go on as we were ... We read our Atala and René by the
lf naked, both of them lying by the fire. Lifting the cat o
's J
had been Chateaubriand's characters. Atala, a foolish fabrication. For that matter, so was th
he repeated, envious
do you see her
and t
ke
rea
from Ermenon
now much about Jeannet
n bust, the tapestry, the books, the fireplaces, the g
me of them capable, some over-dedicated: as she talked she appreciated Orville: he was Orv: most everything about
ice, she began sharing her
al ... ambulances ... men coming and going ... doctors ... Maquis ... I was in Marseilles for about a month, stayed with Dad. In Paris I usually stay
ing of flowers and wandering blue. Behind her, framed in narrow gold, matted in grey, was a 17th century
er eyes (as he listened), her guilty eyes, the eyes of war. When she brought a
grin of a hypnotist, the words he could
en
es
r car tomorrow
I'm sure. It must be difficult to get away fro
now about Dachau? We Maquis know ... we ... could he gues
afraid of himself, ambivalence taking over, he continu
wisted mouth, his
the radio ... dance with me, Orv." Then, she b
we couldn't leave her to those blitzes. Do you love ... do you really love
saying?" she a
... not
on of touching this one; he wanted to be near it, thinking, for the moment, as he stood by it, of his mother, missing
is face wit
said ... Zin
pin bust, lingered in front of the fireplaces; then, rubbing his ha
stairway,
ou tom
ath. The click of his bedroom door was the click of Amélie's door: with cold hands she fondled her cat, speculating about tomorrow, the unce
ted bass over his bed appeared with a kind of jabbing abruptness. Jean had laughed a
them, sitting on the side of the bed, seeing Lena's body catwise. What c
an und
d himsel
thought c
ood hardly ever find fulfill
ence
etty well figured out. Not pat, yet ... well ... that new system for track was a good system, based on a series of camera studies of runners: position of the hands whil
his socks o
o wear a copper medallion with
d it aside; at the bottom of the page, in l
y leave ... g
blow them
anks can
and L
dhead ... calm face ...
hand betwe
a man walking along the river, he saw ... a door banged on the floor b
in the m
n the aft
summer than autumn; Bichain had tuned, washed, and polished the car. Agreeing with his suggestions, Orville was to drive
caring for the wounded, appeare
d car! But you know it's going to rain soon ... w
rked out
how Orville that she was more than his
lish. With her effusiveness she asked about Wisconsin, the winter sports: was it true the stat
ver bowl of dahlias between them: a sense of vacuum haunted him: naked superficiality seemed to
ngled, he jerked
gs it bothers me to
the ring, saying it
a pretty nice man." As she lifted her cup, her facial expression became
drinking her tea, biting sandwiches, she might have been a peasant overwhelmed by work
imed, and stalked off. "Have them sit in the di
ked him about the bikes: were they stored in th
key. They're in the linen room. The tires are new. Lena has used one bik
tchen; as Bichain unlocked the door, Orville felt her face against his; his mouth
ur barn," Jean said, fo
g b
e cow
luminated shelves o
y are," sa
asked. "Enough air? Hmm,
e checked the tire and checked the hand brak
o," Orvi
he
.. along th
ka
th Marcel or some school pal ... no details, just the realization that there had been so m
good bike,
a girl's bike,
ka
y could ride a dozen times, ride to nearby places, Senlis maybe: Fra
the way," s
g the Nonette, t
slight slope, willows along one side, the four turrets of the chateau visible. The Petit Lac winked a blue wink. Tiled roofs sloped about a stand of
ite swans at a curve and beyond the curve some men were rowing in a white rowboat. The wat
Jean said. "
e best w
smooth; his handlebars looked down on her squatty ones as they peddled. He thought her
you ride a
. years ago
pedals: all of a sudden France became USA, became Wisconsin, not foreignness, not isolation
ing. Our path e
min
n was
ute narrowed and ended at a barbed wire fence:
andlebars against the wire of the fence. Beyond them, a field of grass stretched to another fenc
hay in this f
ha
e th
aky, beetles crawling about under the bottom step ... Chuck had collec
here?" she mad
he field,
t said it
little thing lik
m g
me you
bout ou
will bot
so fast. My
um
lds had extended toward the lake, downslope, fields between residences and gr
d the
the hospital and its wounded! Orville, she said to herself. "Orv, Orv!" she said, as th
ke a good
our t
estu
it hasn't been torn down ...
ded timber and mismatched shingles, something flung together years ago, just hi
be swell if we could picnic here ... there'
ke it
e bench; straw and hay littered the floor, the
f my clothes." She was laughing at his expression, laughing with anticipation.
ered hay and straw, the horse blanket: she knew how she wa
g, I love you, but busied
ed him, annoyed him: as he took off his clothes he felt he was some sort of damn puritan:
a straw and stuck it into her mouth. Giggling, she took away
te
raw, staring
ow
e straw an
Straws caught in her hair and fell on her shoulders, freckles and straws ... he was captivate
a mosquito bit
lying si
a flea bit y
nked out as
, arches, pillars and bleeding crosses: they were camped on tiny St. Peter's
u've drifted away ... whe
.. look, look there's a wad of hay in your belly but
e you ... love yo
We used to have fun. Did a lot of wacky things.
ll you be wi
tion tro
" he said. "Alm
ant to ask
eyes--faced the
to far, nobody left, only the wounded, her drab quarters in the hospital: w
ught o
over in Pari
o h
na.
e each othe
rs ... ah no ... it does
ou stay
e wants me to sleep with her." He half heard his ow
e was stalling: tryi
en
you're ki
de her sex. The hay and straw became ugly: why was she such a fool, risking pregnancy again? And in this stable! At this time! She was the biggest ass in France! Then,
... another
then anothe
uck, wher
e me love me,
the same time for something had spattered in his brain: a voice, then, a roar, the pressure
d her get
no lon
cuff of her bl
u be fighting
rma
ray, a prayer from her childhood, a prayer her Lutheran pastor had
easier?" he asked, pulling on
ope
easy for you. I want us to have kids. I want us to be happy. It might really happen to us ... we can'
aid, in a strained voice, wishing to say s
le no
ipping on
were above the field. The sun was much
e'll hunt for an apartment. I'd rather get started in Ithaca than anywhere el
The ticket agent was saying ... Kissing Jean, he forced himself to memorize her overcoat, its scarlet
ed walls of the depot, smudged plaster, egg yolk plas
if you can,"
wil
re of yo
u, the same ..
revo
ons: wasn't there something more he should tell Jeannette? Wasn't t
e beat-up train, he gazed at tiny E through filthy windows: the locomotiv