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Playing With Fire

Chapter 9 WHEN WILL THE NIGHT BE PAST

Word Count: 6939    |    Released on: 01/12/2017

rist-along th

visible Calv

rows with dews

spreading of u

less cross with

rkest hour what

in and bitter

risen spirit

s interested in what he saw, but not comforted by it. For he was well aware that all his hopes had been stripped to the nakedness of a dream. The week days trailed on the ground and the Sabbaths made no effort to rise to the height of their birth. For t

manfully as he could. There had once been a time when he would even have rejoiced to give up any personal happiness if he thought that by doing so he was learning a God-sent lesson. He could not do that now. He had been too long looking into the Deity instead

g. It was raining hard, it was dark, and the points of gas light only rendered the darkness visible. The streets were crowded

and Macrae called him and put a shilling in his hand. The beggar's look of amazement and gratitude was wonderful. He raised the coin as he took it, and cried out, "O God!" and the look and the words fell on Macrae's heart like a soft shower on a parched land. They called

waiting for him. And the blessing of the shilling was on him, and he talked cheerful

West, Hom

ad deceived him, Donald had deserted him, Marion was restlessly waiting for her lover's return. Then she also would go. And Jessy Caird's heart was with Donald. H

elf that if he could only see the way of duty clear he would take it, however unpleasant or difficult it might be. Yes, he was sure of that.

their number and wondered. He did not seem to understand what they portended, but Mrs. Caird did. Some womanly instinct told her what information

e Minister's study, and at his request sat down beside him.

now,

is ma

an, you were but a little child in the hands of Ada

she did

as she

e of Rot

t no doubt she suffered in givi

suffer. I wish

no longer

question, but I had, I tho

ad

ving the man who was then-almost-her husband. After that I had no hesitation in resigning

, and in this danger you were like a swimmer that only tips the tangles and does not know the depth of the

concerning its seventh law still stand with me as a finality. I no longer love her. I am not ev

ght to be more rich and buoyant for

e suffered the same change that Autumn works

are as

my seaso

lower of the f

t be just and honorable to the poet. Why do you cut the verse in two? I

dost th

have li

ving creature

g crea

rden, the field, the roadside, it comes, fresh and strong and heavenly green. Its withered blades have a new life.

re your words. Is there an

et each other in good poetry. I

t the Church of the Disciples that is now troubling me. I dread eve

no' should change your li

ight

him to preach-whether he wants to or not. I think little of the men who are feare

y love, my children, my work, my friends. All are change

st anything. You are not doing badly even now, and you are l

erable, Jessy,

y punish yourself. God is giving you blessings on e

sy C

nd got nothing back-through all the years of your life-but sorrow and shame. Well, well, it is little gratitude we give either God or angel for the escapes they help us to ma

't for the

urselves, of course! What do you think of making the best of what you have, I

dral. There is a painted window in the

nted w

ist as a youth readin

acrae. Your ideal of Christ

the kind, Je

many paintings do you know representing Christ as the Lord of Life and Death-the co-equal of the God Everlasting? Indeed, if you do happen to find a painting of Christ as

know the

was with me. He liked it well. There w

dress and

raining

ackie's, and look over his new bo

th Marion. She has a lette

rch impels me-I cannot rest-I can do no

o find it in Bla

t where to

there-at your

es, and he lifted the Book and replaced the ribbon; then, with a feeling of sorrowful tenderness, laid it, on a shelf of his bookcase. "M

curious Scotch twist in his nature prompted him to conceal the fact. The root of this secrecy was undoubtedly selfishness. He did not want anyone else to see, or touch, or handle it-it was all his own, as long as it lay unspoken of in h

me in his hand a volume by Mills with which he passed the long evening. Now and then he vouchsafed a few remark

amed Donald, Aunt;" and Mrs. Caird answered sharply, "I am thinking, Marion, he knows all about Donald. He has had a letter his own self. The man is far too curious to

nd tried not to mind the weather. But Dr. Macrae was acutely sensible to atmospheric conditions, and the nearly constant gloom and drizzle was but the outward sign of his mental

ndent, and every change was marked by moods and tempers that affected the whole household. For the mind has malignant contagious diseases, a

ever ring. Doubt came to Ian like a mailed warrior, and met him, as Apollyon met Christian, with defiant words and straddling all over the way. What if there was no God? he asked boldly-if blind forces, beyond his comprehens

was often so weary that he fell into long sleepy stupors. For great griefs and anxieties have these respites from suffering, and it was likely this very lethargy which overtook the Disciples in the sorrowful Garden of Olives. And this spiritual warfare was not a thing to be decided in a few

or about their daily duties. You can at least do as Dr. Scott does-keep faithfully your obligation to the Presbytery, and, as a matter of professional honesty, preach good Calvinistic sermons to those who desire them. It might be that while

unt

habit-and by fears, that, like the needle, verge to t

cessary to have a reason for his sermons, for without a reason he could neither write nor preach them; and he found in the faithful fulfil

sticity. And though Mrs. Caird knew well that the passion and fiery denunciation of these sermons came out of the misery and the ill-conditioned temperament of the preacher, she approved his eloquence. With a sort of satisfaction she said to herself, "If these people li

you have been bringing your sermons to the counter and the hearthstone. You began your sermon to-day, as I think Chri

was a sinner correcting sin. But, Jessy, it is such

r, indeed, if they would respect a God who forgave his enemies, and who thought rich men would hardly win their way into the kin

sionate sorrow and entreaty in the lifted eyes and hands fi

l your heart and with all your

Him with all my h

m Ian was deteriorating both spiritually and physically, so much so that Mrs. Caird began to wonder if he ought not

ildren, and he can think of nothing but what he himself wants, and that want a spiritual gift that few obtain. If he cannot believe Christ and the multitudes wh

hoped would nullify their power, but every fresh scientific or theological writer had only made his doubts and perplexities more and more confused and distressing; and

ds with an understanding smile, and the Major said, "I want an hour's talk with you, Ian. It is important. Come home with

is now money-making and in good condition; and, as my application for unlimited par

reat power with

the Government that all noblemen should be on their estate

of money. Have you

aid nothing, for the late Lord was only too speculative, and I needed all his money and all his interest at that time to get the property out of trouble. When Lord Richard was in the same trouble I remembered my suspicions, and sent half a dozen old oyster fishers to

the boats and cottages, the railroad and other

from his oyster beds, they will also supply him with something to do and to look after. I have thought of that. I know it is good for men to come constantly in contac

when she is twen

will do it. Donald tells me he is to be married on

truck up a friendship, and Donald was going with him to a place called Los Angeles. He appears to be much older than Donald. I do

t his violin there when he could. The second thing was that everyone-men and women-were loving Donald, and when they reached New York Macbeth would not part with the lad, and they went together to Los Angeles, and then to his handsome home a few miles from the city. There he had great vineyards and farms of figs and le

and. They won't bear transplanting any better than

ld Macrae. This Mr. Macbeth has a daughter, a beautiful girl, not eighteen until the fifth of December. Then he will give her to Donald with half a million doll

N

d I'll just put it into your memo

Is she a

fornia Spaniard of old

atholic, d

hout saying. It does not

the good out of the circumstance. The girl w

with such outside details. God save us! What kind of a head must a man have who could think

at have

t of which creeds have grown. Faith in spiritual matters is just what courage is in mate

reeds claim to com

m of Divinity in the Book-nothing in it but h

r, to hear of Dona

A beautiful and wealthy wife, who loved him from the moment they met

and never can be. I am forever

e finest climate outside of the Kingdom of Heaven. It is

he could hardly remember the word

stories from the

ttain the th

that which

have heard su

have told it to you, chapter

t advices and

ou are looking ill. What is the matter

eater that there is not speech to define the distance. I have lost God!" and he looked up with a face

ntense voice, "you cannot lose God, a

r![1] I have lost G

in the devil. I deny him! I deny him! Ach! I will not ta

'As the hart panteth after the water brook, so panteth my soul for the living God.' To all my pleading He is deaf and dumb.

Ian, dreadful! Dear me!

lts all your own, you have lost t

s wrong, and the confession is to make over again. It seems a childish thing for a man of sixty years old to rely on, Ian, but it has kept me at His Pierced Feet all my life long. If I had been a Roman Catholic-as the Macraes once all of them were-I should have gone to my confessor and had the priest's absolution; and I su

oor Christian carry through the Slough of Despond every Sabbath. It is my unspeakable burden to be compelled to preach.

comfort you gave your co

see you i

kind of righteousness impossible to them. Why do people listen to such words? Why do you say them? How do you dare to represent God as ordaining all things, yet angry with the actions

s. The majority give all menaces to their neighbors. A gre

o they go a

the strictest sect is the most fashionable. Anything like Armenianism or Methodism is democratic, and suitable only for the lower classes-it is to

is false preaching of a fa

r greater. Is the

those cloudy German philosophies? Like Satan, they are one everlasting No! How could you be influenced by them? I defy any metaph

I know all about them that I want to know. I could not sleep if their books were under my roof. Imphm!" he added with ejaculat

been widely

it sees no reality in what never happened, and you cannot make it believe that 'Being an

und out, to his

nd Nothing were

I had to the Clyde. Sandy, who threw them into it, said they went straight to the bottom. Ian, you are

es

e. And go and do your daily duty as you see it, and I am led to believe you will require to begin in the house on Bath Street. Dod, Man!

the table; when I am unable to converse about the trivial things of thi

two women you are treating so badly, and talk with them about the people and

e and car

to them of Donald and Lord Cramer, and talk hopefully and plea

always k

else could live with. I met Marion last week in the Arcade, and the little girl was miserable. S

what seems foo

om. There is what Paul calls 'the foolishness of pre

ld you do

s I saw it and felt it, or-I

, everything should remain as it is. Then! Then I

ure time. As for Marion's marriage, I can't see what influence your preaching or not preaching can have on th

and I shall marry her. It will be a g

nd by the Episcopal ritual. You would not be permitted to perform

have a priv

Cramer will be there in force, and their splendid uniforms will make a fine effect. It is the first wedding I have ever had anything to do with. You were married in a little Border village, and none of your kin there;-father and mother and your wife, all gone!" and the Major looked int

o take some interest in the matter. Do, my dear lad, for no man will ever win Heaven by making his earthly home a hell. B

Marion. I will be a

o I'll remind you of your promise once mor

t touched a penny of it. It is intact, principal and inte

ood man-a ge

better. She is my child. I preferred to t

ached the Major was weary. He sighed heavily, and advised Ian to go home and try to be of a kinder and more familiar spirit. "And tell Marion," he said,

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