My Mother, The Monster

cus with a gasp. My throat

e flowered comforte

ight, sliced thr

s, sharp and angry, from

t was always her, always Emil

es. Emily. Mom' s sister. Dad' s

ung to me: peanuts, my throat closi

m. It was a warni

ime, things would be diff

ver Emily leaving town. She'd told him she was pregnant. A lie, I found o

Emily. She never forgave

ing she owned, so

mind, I saw her clearly for the first tim

g cold and sharp. I had to get ou

ate fight

hool. And you'll be close to home," Mom said later that day, h

earby, under he

aid, my voice ca

a conquero

g – worry? hope? – in his tired eyes. H

quietly, avoiding Mom's gaze

out of state, the one with the great writing program. He'd ev

ost imperceptible nod

mask. Inside, I wa

ly decision for the out-of-state university. The application was alre

hidden voice recorder. A couple of nanny

ead my emails if she could. My room wasn' t private; sh

to go to a summer camp two hours away

lled every single relative, crying about how I was abandonin

en Uncle Mike. They told

tayed home. Mom had smiled, th

remonition had changed me. I wasn'

more years, even at a community college

aid, her hand on my arm, a little too tight. "We can ma

" was always

. "Thanks, Mom. I'll

in her perfect facade. "

the first time, I didn't feel the urge to cry o

was just