Hard Cash

ort, Barkington, there lived a few years ago a happy family. A lady, middle-a

sband; her friends were her son Edward, aged twenty, and

re. She had a bugbear; Slang. Could not endure the smart technicalities current; their multitude did not overpower her distaste; she called them “jargon”—“slang” was too coarse a word for her to apply to slang: she excluded many a good “racy idiom” along with the real offenders; and monosyllables in general ran some risk of’ having to show their passports. If this was pedantry, it went no further; she was open, free, and youthful with her young pupils; and had the art to put herself on their level: often, when they were quite young, she would feign infantine ignorance, in order to hunt trite truth in couples with them, and detect, by joint experiment, that rainbows cannot, or else will not, be walked into, nor Jack-o’-lantern be gathered like a cowslip; and that, dissect we the vocal dog — whose hair is so like a lamb’s

e the narrative of their adventures by a delineation; as in country chu

John Bull. His figure it was that charmed the curious observer of male beauty. He was five feet ten; had square shoulders, a deep chest, masculine flank, small foot, high inste

allen feather; could row all day, and then dance all night; could fling a cricket ball a hundred and six yards; had a lathe and a tool-box, and would make y

, large when smiling; her eyes pure hazel by day, and tinged with a little violet by night. But in jotting down these details, true as they are, I seem to myself to be painting fire, with a little snow and saffron mixed on a marble pall

e said her ver

one through her, and out of her, and made her an airy

se incites a slow one; partly because she was determined to share his every trouble, if she could not remove it. A little choleric, and indeed downright prone to that more generous indignation which fires at the wrong

irant in Mrs. Dodd. She educated Julia herself from first to last: but with true feminine distrust of her power to mould a lordling of creation, she sent Edward to Eton, at nine.

there was plenty of time to choose: he must pass through the university to either. This last essential had been settled about a twelvemonth, and the very day for his going to Oxford was at hand, when one morning Mr. Edward formally cleared his throat: it was an unusual act, and drew the ladies’ eyes upon him. He followed the solemnity up by delivering calmly and ponderously a connected discourse, which astonished them by its length and purport. “Mamma, dear, let us look the thing in the face.” (This was

did not really love their parents. “Then, as for learning, why, we must be reasonable in our turn. Do the best you can, love. We know you have no great turn for the classics; we do not expect you to take high honours like young Mr. Hardie; besides, that might make your head ache: he has sad headaches, his sister told Julia. But, my dear, an unive

d presently, in her usual placid tone, “I beg your pardon, my dears, I ought to have said my gold.” With this she kissed Edward tenderly on the brow, and drew an embrace and a littl

od a moment, half turned, with arching neck, colouring with inno

ard by, paved with china, croc

them in the face;

gs for Oxford.” His eye brightened; he whipped out a two-foot rule, and be

ted on this paltry little detail; they were game for theoretical departures; to impalpable universities: and “an air-drawn Bus, a Bus of the mind,” would not have dejected for a moment their lofty Spartan souls on glory bent; safe glory. But here was a Bus of wood, and Edward going bodily away inside it

leasantry! being a puncture in the modern Athens. They inserted him; told him what hour at the top of the morning he must be in chapel; and left him to find out his other ills. His cases were welcomed like Ch

even. He communicated this ray of glory by letter to his mother and sister with genuine delight, coldly and clumsily expressed; they replied with feigned and fluent rapture. Advancing steadily in that line of academic study towards which his genius lay, he won a hurdle race, and sent home a little silver hurdle; and soon after brought a pewter pot, with a Latin inscription recording the victory at “Fives” of Edward Dodd: but not too arrogantly; for in the centre of the pot was this device, “The Lord Is My Illumination.” The Curate of Sandford, who pulled number six in the Exeter boat, left Sandford for Witney: on this he felt he could no longer do his colleg

rejudice against weight, whi

and this is a barrier the junior must not step over — without direct encouragement — at Oxford. Moreover, the college was a large one, and some of “the sets” very exclusive: young Hardie was Doge of a studious c

s in his sixth; the Ireland scholarship in his eighth (he pulled second for it the year before); Str

“Time, Six!” “Well pulled, Six!” “Very well pulled, Six!” Except, by-the-bye, one race; when he swore at him like a trooper for not being quicker at starting. The excitement of nearly being bumped by B

. Invited to dinner, on the same day, with the Emperor of Russia, and with Voltaire, and

h his own set, to reinvigorate mankind. This roused Julia’s ire. It smouldered through three letters; but burst out when there was no letter; but Mrs. Dodd, meaning, Heaven knows, no harm, happened to say meekly, a propos of Edward, “You know, love, we cannot all be young Hardies.” “No, and thank Heaven,” said

it: oh! how can a man let anybody or anything beat him! I wouldn’t; without a desperate struggle.” She clenched her white teeth and imagined the struggle. To be sure, she owned she had

eath, dear; was not t

my guard. I generally am, by the way. But now I am on it,

let me

ourse.” But she added softly, and with sudden gravity: “Ah! Jane Hardie has a fault w

is t

too good

exe

relig

is anoth

on But “everything” was soon explained to mean balls, concerts, dinner-parties in general, tea-parties without exposition of Scripture, races, and operas, cards, charades, and whatever else amuses society without perce

Julia stopped short,

. But, while she was searching diligently in her mine of ladylike English — mine with plenty of water in it, begging her pardon — for expressions to con

from Calcutta,

pleasurable interest, but without surprise, or misgiving; and withou

road start from s

condemned in port: and he was to sail a fine new teak-built vessel, the Agra, as far as the Cape; where her captain, just recovered from a severe illn

with a steam-pot and a crew of coalheavers But then I shall not be parted from my sweetheart suc

their savings from India, where interest was hig

r’s letter; they were the under current. Mrs. Dodd read part of it out to Julia; in fact all but the money matter: that concerned the heads of the family more immediately; and Cash was a topic her daughter did

Julia to read it to her, which she did with panting br

ope you and Ju ar

ed Mrs. Dodd

ve plenty on my hands just now; all this term I have been (‘training’

ming,’

the Oxfordish

or sm

ia, who understood her every accent, reminded he

that rather puts the snaffie on reading and gooseberry pie’ (Goo

ed mamma, “‘gooseberry pie’? an

rdish for ‘plucked.’ O mamma, have you forgotten that? ‘Plucked’ was vulgar, so now

e so disgraced! But what h

he? Did I not forbid all these nicknames and a

t Lo

protracte

u have not got a son like Hardie.’” At this unfortunate reflection it was Julia’s turn to suffer. She deposite

ul

priety, and gently to abomi

eights will not be there, but the head boats of the Oxford and Cambridge

is strength; and how unfair of the other young gentlemen; it s

be lucky this time. Henley is a long way from Barkington, but it is a pretty place; all the ladies admire it, and like to see both the univers

ings; I will not let you go to a noisy inn. Love to Julia and n

ARD D

and also to see it turn one of the gayest in an hour or two; so impetuously came both the uni