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How to Accidentally start a Cult

Chapter 2 2.Chapter 2: Please Stop Following Me

Word Count: 814    |    Released on: 11/07/2025

p Following Me (Unles

ions the next morning:Stop wea

or the forese

ow to stop a cu

ons were ignored

ople chanting "Hustle is holy! Hustle is holy!" while holding u

uy wore a sandwich board that simp

asked, still in his pajama pants an

rded woman gasp

ked. "Oka

d it again just to say, "Serio

the kitchen counter, meditating over a ce

eady?" Trevor asked

Trevor. I'm not r

ro. You've ignited the fla

tchup counts as a vegetable. I

llow with a spoon, and muttered, "Yo

st a reasonable distraction-Nat

a cult accidentall

uora post titled "Lol,

nto a glowing sun with the caption "THE RADIANT RISE OF FLANDER

than F

We Need

i

ssFit. I've been watching your rise... and I'm pretty sure this is either a

, I want a

ffeehouse. Noon. Don't

La

the window, where someone was now se

t, "a podcast person w

milk?" Trevor replied.

ffeehouse –

ng a triple espresso and looking unim

she said with

to give me a chicken in exchang

p now. "Did

..

uld've been a kil

r energy Lana was radiating. She was sharp-eyed, sharp-voiced, and somehow managed to

esso. "I thought you were a meme. Or a scammer. O

technically

,000 followers, two online forums dedicated to your 'teachings,' and

mentioned

in the vibe and the vi

h. Da

uestion, Nate. Are you pretending to be a

e. I'm not qualified to lead a gro

y're lis

st my

its own shoelaces. "Then you better figure out your

let around to sh

ared in

ozens of people sitting on yoga mats, meditating to looped

just disappear,

ugging a lukewarm pizza and staring

he was being treated like a prophet with a fan club and homemade sh

ye

s, buried under sarcasm an

mall, very loud-was

just wen

F CHA

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How to Accidentally start a Cult
How to Accidentally start a Cult
“When 29-year-old out-of-work barista Nate Flanders gives an impromptu TEDx-style rant about "manifesting success" at a public park-dressed in a wizard robe for a cosplay event he forgot to change out of-he doesn't expect to go viral. He definitely doesn't expect people to start quoting him like scripture. But within a week, Nate finds himself at the head of a rapidly growing online community, nicknamed "Flanderians," who believe he's some kind of mystical life coach/prophet/rebel leader. Strangers tattoo his face on their calves. His neighbor opens a smoothie shop in his name. And worst of all-his mom starts calling him "Messiah Muffin." Nate tries to shut it all down... but every time he does, people think it's part of "the teachings." And when a tech billionaire invites Nate to "enlighten" his elite spiritual retreat in exchange for a fat check, Nate has to decide: keep up the act, or escape the madness? But the more he pretends, the weirder things get. Like actual magic starting to happen. Just a little. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully not.”