Catherine: A Story

nd, at the inn at Worcester, altogether; for, in truth, very little came of it, and it is not very romantic or striking. But we are bound to stick closely,

titre to Mr. Alexander Pope, Doctor Sacheverel, Sir John Reade the oculist, Dean Swift, or Marshal Tallard; as the very commonest romancer would under such circumstances. But alas and alas! truth must be spoken, whatever else is in the wind; and the excellent "Newgate Calendar," which contains the biographies and thanatographies of Hayes and his wife, does not say a word of their connections with any of the leadin

drink and play; and for many years past had lived, one of the hundred thousand miracles of our city, upon nothing that anybody knew of, or of which he himself could give any account. Who has not a catalogue of these men in his list? who can tell whence comes the occasional clean shirt, who supplies the continual means of drunkenness, who wards off the daily-impending starvation? Their life is a wonder from day to day: their breakfast a wonder; their dinner a mi

st be remembered, h

him by the governm

to sleep somewhere, and to get drunk at least three hundred times a year. He was known to one or two noblemen who occasionally helped him with a few pieces, and whom he helped in turn-never mind how. He had other acquaintances whom he pestered undauntedly; and from whom he occasionally extracted a dinner, or a crown, or mayhap, by mistake, a goldheaded cane, which found its way to the pawnbroker's. When flush of cash, he would appear at the coffee-house; when low in funds, the de

belaboured, and who entreated his forbearance, a larger sum of money than the nobleman gave him for the beating; which he performed punctually, as bound in honour and friendship. This tale would the Ensign himself relate, with much self-satisfaction; and when, after the sudden flight from London, he and Brock took to their roving occupation, he cheerfully submitted to the latter as his commanding officer, called hi

ch he placed in the landlady's hand as security for his comrade's return; and Ensign Macshane, being mounted on poor Hayes's own horse, set off to visit the parents of that unhappy young man. It was a gallant sight to behold our thieves' ambassador, in a faded sky-blue s

structions), and had no difficulty in discovering the house of old Hayes: towards which, indeed, John's horse trotted incontinently. Mrs. Hayes, wh

gether, in order to make a profound and elegant bow to Mrs. Hayes; and slapping his greasy beaver against his heart, and poking

ther, finally, "he could be feevored with a few minutes' private conversation with her and Mr. Hees, on a matther of consitherable impartance." All these preliminaries were to be complied with before Mr. Macshane would enter at all into the subject of his v

teeken intirely: the young man

ised be

nes, madam, look you, the best of us are subje

he handwriting of young Hayes, of which we have

with whom, I accepted her Majesty's mony to enliste. Repenting thereof, I did endeavour to escape; and, in so doing, had the misfortune to strike my superior officer, whereby I made myself liable to Death, a

N HA

at Bristol, this

ng immediately to the cupboard, and producing the money necessary for her darling son's release. B

our, sir?" said the

it one way or other, but shall take it for granted,

Macshane, "for it's not the custom in my

me in what regiment

fut, my dear; and a gallant co

ou lef

ike a horse-jockey ever since; as in the sacred

ck riding, and so, cut the conversation short. "You have said quite enough, sir," said he, "to sho

y," said he, "Misthur Hees, is a sthrong term; and which, in consideration of my friendship for you

d him to write,

it, he HAS been forced to write it. The story about the enlistment is a pretty fib, if you will,

s, plumping down on her knees. "We WI

ith the present government, and no more care about cutting a man's throat than they do a chicken's. He is a prisoner, madam, of

t come back to-morrow for m

ake ten minutes to talk of it-take it then, or leave it; it's all the same to me, my dear." And it must be said of our friend the E

Hayes, starting up in a rage, "from t

so much as the tip of your son's nose again. Look you, sir, we run mighty risks in our profession-it's not all play, I can tell you. We're obliged to be punctual, too, or it's all up with the thrade. If I promise that your son will die as sure as fate to-morrow morning, unless I return home safe, our people MUST keep my promise; or else what chance is the

rs. Hayes, who began to perceive the gist of t

in such a dreadful way as to make the two parents tremble. "It's the way of war, madam, look you. The service I have the honour

teously took leave of the old couple, and made the best of his way back to Worcester again. The elder Hayes wondered who the lady could be of whom the ambassador had spoken, for their son's elopement was altogether unknown to them; but anger or doubt about this subject was overwh

common; and the cottage lights went out one by one; and the earth and heaven grew black, but for some twinkling useless stars, which freckled the ebon countenance of the latter; and the air grew colder; and about two o'clock the moon appeared, a dismal pale-faced rake, walking solitary through the deserted sky; and about four, mayhap, the Dawn (wretched 'prentice-boy!) opened in the east the shutters of the Day:-in other words,

dark; and as he was thirsty and hungry, had money in his purse, and saw no cause to hurry, he determined to take refuge at an alehouse for the night, and to make for Worcester by

luttering and grimaces, the remainder of the beer into the fire. This process so offended the parson of the parish (who in those good old times did not disdain to take the post of honour in the chimney-nook), that he left his corner, looking wrathfully at the offender; who without any more ado instantly occupied it. It was a fine thing to hear the jing

soon convinced himself, and did not fail to have some suspicions of his guest. Had he not thought that times were unquiet, horses might be sold, and one man's money was as

est's conversation. In an hour more, the whole house was awakened by a violent noise of howling, curses, and pots clattering to and fro. Forth issued Mrs. Landlady in her night-gear, out came John Ostler with his pitchfork, downstairs tumbled Mrs. Cook and one or two guests, and found the landlord and ensign on the kitchen-floor-the wig of the latter lying, much singed and emitting strange odours, in the fireplace, his

onist to bed. His sword and pistols, which had been placed at his side at the commencement of the evening, were carefully put by, and his pocket visited. Twenty guineas in gold, a large knife-used, probably, for the cutting

o Mr. Hayes, informing him how a person had lain at their inn who had ridden thither mounted upon young Hayes's horse. Off set John Ostler at earliest dawn; but on his way he woke up Mr. Justice's clerk, and communicated

lodious music of his nose, a vile plot was laid against him; and when about seven of the clock he woke, he found, on sitting up in his bed, three gentlemen on each side of it, armed, and looking

loud sonorous yawn, with which he had opened the business of the day, "you won't d

that there horse?

said the landlord, in whose hands, by some pro

olatrous string of be

ic, but did not care to own it: for in

tell you, by his holiness the po-psha! I mane they belong to a darling little daughter I had that's in heaven now: a

belief that neither horse nor money is honestly come by. If his worship is satisfied, why so, in course, sh

Her Majesty's service, and the dearest friend Lord Marlborough had, his impudent captors would not believe a word of his statement (which, further, was gar

not be shown that the Ensign had committed any crime at all; and if he had confined himself to simple silence, and thrown upon them the onus of proving his mi

rately wounded at both; so that, at the end of his examination, which had been taken down by the clerk, he had been made to acknowledge as follows:-Captain Geraldine, six feet four inches in height; thin, with a very long red nose, and red hair; grey eyes, and speaks with a strong Irish accent; is the first-cousin of the Duke of Leinster, and in constant communication with him: does not know whether his Grace has any children; does not know whereabouts he lives in London; cannot say what sort of a looking man his Grace is: is acquainted with the Duke of Marlborough, and served in the dragoons at the battle of Ramillies; at which time he was with my Lord Peterborough before Barcelona. Borrowed the horse which he rides from a friend in London, three weeks since. Peter Ho

h that he came thither in a gold-laced one. But this fact was disproved by the oaths of many persons who had seen him at the inn. And he was about to be imprisoned for the thefts which he had not committed (the fact about the hat being

ssage, she instantly caused her pillion to be placed behind the saddle, and mounting the g

this honest gentleman?" said she. "In the name of Heaven, let him go! H

"but he refused to take my word-the sac

ed on an examination; and this was a very creditable str

id Mr. Ballance, who was perfectly wel

re we not related? Didn't she give me the very horse which

y. Are you related to Capt

-oh,

nd you gave him the horse, di

child is dying," said the old lady, bursting into tears. "It may be dead before he get

le fate as the honest woman who interested herself for him. On the contrary, when she made this passionate speech, Captain Geraldine only grinned, and said, "Niver mind,

than ever; and as there was really no charge agai

olemnly vowed that he had twenty, and called upon Mrs. Hayes to say whether yesterday, half-an-hour before he entered the inn, she had not seen him with twenty guineas, and that lady expressed herself ready to swear that she had, Mr. Landlord looked more crestfallen than ever, and said that

ld not help bestowing an embrace upon Mrs. Hayes. And when she implored him to let her ride behind

ut three hours after the above adventure, was lolling in the yard of the "Three Rooks." It was

liss of intwining two harrts that are mead for one another. Ours, my dear, is a dismal profession; but ah! don't moments like this make

ed knock, Mr. Macshane was admitted into an apartment, which he ente

o see his relative, for he deemed that his troubles were over. Mrs. Cat bit her lips, and stood aside, looking somewhat foolish; Mr. Br

f friendship and goodwill for the company of thieves in which she found herself. It seemed to her that they had confe

a curtsey, and said, with much respect, "Captain, your very humble servant;" which compliment Mr. Broc

is Mrs. John Hayes." And herewith Mr. Hayes brought for

to be, on such an occasion, very angry with him. So, after a proper rebuke, she told Mrs. John Hayes that though she never approved of her son's attachment, and thought he married below

p to Mr. Redcap; who, with the landlady, had come to the door of the room, an

landlady; "but he's a poor ignorant Papist. I'm sure my man" (this gentl

revents us? We have got the old mare, and the colt too,-ha! ha!-

f the plot which was arranged by the three worthies. The landlady began it. "Which punch, madam,

e," said

leave the place; and putting down a crown-piece, requested the hostess to

got me out of a scrape at the justice's yonder; and, split m

it, and Mr. Sicklop said, "No, no, my pretty madams, you ain't a-going off so cheap as tha

s; the two women screamed; and Mr. Brock looked as if the proposition

clawing fiercely h

aid Mr. Bro

rr we not, me

, laughing, and using Macsh

ejor here and I will lug out and force you." And so saying, he drew his great sword and made a pass at Mr. Sicklop; which that gentleman avoided, and which caused him and his companion to retreat from the door. The land

at the hostess, which passed so near the wretch's throat, tha

ng; and having seen them to the street, took an affectionate farewell of the party, whom he vowed th

Why, haven't we got Ball, and

d declare that you gave me that horse, and now d'ye talk of taking it back again? Let me tell you, madam, that such paltr

. Catherine Hayes, along with her bridegroom and mothe