Catherine: A Story

a more miserable spectacle than that of

m everybody knows by his title of Father Pop. A kinder, simpler, more empty-headed fellow does not exist. He is forty-seven years old, and appears a young, good-looking man of sixty. At the time of the Army of Occupation he really was as good-looking a man as any in the Dragoons. He now uses all sorts of stratagems to cover the bald place on his head, by combing certain thin grey sidelocks over it. He has, in revenge, a pair of enormous moustaches, which he dyes of the richest blue-black. His nose is a good deal larger and redder than it used to be; his eyelids have grown flat and heavy; and a little pair of red, watery eyeballs float in the midst of them: it seems as if the light which was once in those sickly green pupils had extravasated into the white part of the eye. If Pop's legs are not so firm and muscular as they used to be in those days when he took such leaps into White's buckskins, in revenge his waist is much larger. He wears a very good coat, however, and a waistband, which he lets out after dinner. Before

apartment where appeared before them nothing more than a little lean shrivelled hideous blear-eyed mangy pig. Everyone cried out "Swindle!" and "Shame!" "Patience, gentlemen, be heasy," said the showman: "look at that there hanimal; it's a perfect phenomaly of hugliness: I engage you never see such a pig." Nobody ever h

ion of penance, or by the repetition of a tale from the recueil of Noce, or La Fare. All his appetites were wasted and worn; only some monstrosity would galvanise them into momentary action. He was in that effete state to which many noblemen of his time had arrived; who were ready to believe in ghost-raising or in gold-making, or to retire into monasteries and wear hair-shirts, or to dabble in conspiracies, or to die in love with little cook-maids of fifteen, or to pine for the smiles or at the frowns of a prince of the blood, or to go mad at the refusal of a chamberlain's key. The last gratification he remembered to

s death, and the Duchess of Phalaris, and sly old Fleury, and what not; and I care just as much as if you told me that

id the revere

enormous Court periwig, "you are, helas! wrong. Monsieur le Comte

htest notice of La Rose's wit,

ut it. Egad! I remember the day when to lose a hundred made me half mad for a month. Well, next day I had my revenge at dice, and threw

ase, indeed,"

should have been a dead man, that's

your Excellency not run him through, he, with

mean-what cursed chocolate!-that I was dying for want of e

aid the Abbe, a fat grey-haired Irishma

, I mean what I say. I don't care for living: no, nor for dying either; but I can speak as well as another, and I'll thank

in, quite exhausted by his eloquence. The Abbe, who had a seat and a table by the bedside, resumed the labours which had brought

nsieur la Ro

einkleider's. Will your Excellency see hi

me; he had signed three papers, and read th

self to be a gentleman before these scoundrels." And he therefore mounted a large ch

Count's destined breeches. He did not seem in the least awed, however, by his Excellency's appearance, but looked at him with a great

ther. "Oh, I have it! My good friend, yo

ignificant nod with his he

ray, sir, do you go for p

at do you mea

be brought up to the trade, or your

g. I'm a tailor now, but I'm a gentleman's son: as good a man, ay, as his lordship there: for YOU a'n't his lordsh

used: he was pleased to see the A

he, "you turn as

d work. It was but to be useful to yonder poor Irishman, who saved me as a prisoner in F

the fellow could be, ever since he robbed me on the Heath. I recollect

se," said Mr. Billings. "I'VE heard on it."

e and more surprised. "And

e's Bil

?" said t

arwickshire," sa

dee

n at Birmi

you, r

voice. "I was put out to a nurse along with John Billings, a

nt, who was amused,-"upon honour, Mr.

my Lord, YOU'

ould forthwith spring out of bed and hug him to his heart. A similar piece of naivete many fathers of families have, I have no doubt, remarked in their children; who, not caring for their parents a single doit, conceiv

tobacco! Don't turn away, my lad; sit down there at a proper distance. And, La Rose, give him some eau-de-Cologne, and get a

rsation," said the Abbe,

d the boy alone. Now, Mister ah!-What's-your

made heir to the estates and title; in which being disappointed, he very sulkily went on with his narrative, and detailed many of those events with whi

I recollect the whole affair now. She's a little fresh black-haired woman, a'n't she? with a sharp nose and thick eyebrows, ay? Ah yes, ye

hotly. "Her aunt kept the 'Bugle Inn' on W

made her jump on my black horse, and bore her off like-like

lar," said the Abbe. "It is won

s, at the black horse. Well, I mounted her on the black horse, and rode her en croupe, egad-ha, ha!-to

d of some of the BILLINGS?" sai

Well, but to proceed," cries he. "We lived together at Birmingham, and I was going to be married to a rich heiress, egad! when what do you think this little Cat does? She murders me, egad! and

. Billings, with a great oath,

nobleman of seventy-eight descents; a count of the Holy Roman Empire; a representa

two eyes in his head, I can tell him!" And with this Mr. Billings put himself into the most approved attitude of the Cockpit, and invited his father, the reverend gentleman, and Monsieur la Rose the valet, to engage with him in a

, sir, when I was sixteen, I used to swear-to swear, egad, like a Thames waterman, and exactly in this fellow's way! Buss me, my lad; no, kiss my hand. That will do

-going to abuse me nor mother, I don't care

father and child; in which he said that young Billings was the eleve favori of M. Kitch, Ecuyer, le bourreau de Londres, and which made the Duke's mistress laugh

o the Duke of Bavaria; how he wore his Court suits, and of a particular powder which he had invented for the hair; how, when he was seventeen, he had run away with a canoness, egad! who was afterwards locked up in

n they brought it me a second time, I refused-refused, split me and grill me if I didn't! Everybody stared; his Highness looked as fierce as a Turk; and that infernal Krahwinkel (my dear, I did for him afterwards)-that cursed Krahwinkel, I say, looked as pleased as possible,

omte,' said his

my father; but of this I am resolved, I WILL NEVER EAT SAUERKRAUT MORE: it don't agree with me. After being laid up for four weeks by the last dish of Sauerkraut of which I parto

hness. 'Tut, tut, tut!' T

erve you; but sure,-sure, a great prince will pity the weak health of a faithful subject, who does not know how to eat Sau

I was alone, amazed by his great goodness and bounty, I sobbed aloud-cried like a child" (the Count's eyes filled and winked at the very recollection), "and when I went back into the card-room, stepping up to Krahwinkel, 'Count,' says I, 'who looks

" and the snuff-box was brought. "Look at it, my dear," said the Count, "for I saw y

he story had quite mystified him; for he did not dare yet to think

arrated; his Lordship was exhausted; the chaplain had quitted the room directly the word Sauerkraut was mentioned-he knew what was coming. His Lordship looked for some time at his son; who returned the gaze wi

ngs rose

ome again some morning. A nice well-grown young lad," mused the Count, as Master Tomm

out, having received the sum offered to him. And he immediately went to c

this history. Having made her, however, acquainted with the particulars of his vis

ry differently interes