"Relationship was never meant for me." This is the exact statement that Jorge engraved not only inside her mind but most especially inside her heart and not even the idea of getting married again. Jorge is a single mom with a daughter. So right after her 15 years of a failed marriage, she stays single for almost a year though she has a fair share of men surrounds her but never in her wildest imagination that she would commit again. But not until she meets a German guy named Michael in one international online game. They both shared an amazing friendship virtually, which eventually spilled over to their real lives. But as their friendship grows deeper, another feeling grew unexpectedly, and an inevitable confession changed everything. When their paths crossed once again, would it be a mere rekindling friendship? Or would it be for love?
Chapter 1 TDHSG: PROLOGUE
"You get what? You get that I would just love to be able to tell you to please forget about me and to block me and get rid of me and that this is what I want as well? But that's not the fucking truth!" - Michael
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I could not believe that you can wake me up in my deepest slept. I sighed, I always thought I was over you but it seemed that I am not. Stupid it is, I could mock myself for these feelings all over again.
Funny and yeah--it's foolishness I know but when this kind of predicament came in a sudden situation then I hated to found myself getting off guard. I tried to ignore it, forced myself to go back to sleeping however 3 hours had passed I found myself spinning around in the comfy of my bed--can't sleep. " Oh, I hate my damn self--now!" I frowned.
I even distracted myself listening to the music on my playlist but sadly after all the songs are finished playing-- still, nothing happened. I let out a deep sighed, feeling helpless. I opened up my eyes--" Surely tomorrow I would be able to have a ton of eye bags because I only slept for what---1 or 2 hours?" after battling with the thought of forcing myself back to sleep as it seemed forever---in the end, I embraced my defeat.
I got out of bed feeling so exasperated about being weak. I don't deserve to felt this way... letting myself staying in this kind of situation is so absurd but on the contrary, I always felt that a part of me wants to linger in this anguished. Yeah, I know, I'm crazy and stupid and dumb.
But what can I do?
I can't help it...
Why is it so hard to let go and forget?
I even lost count on how many times I let out a deep sighed and trying to calm down myself especially the very part of me which is the most sensitive---my heart. All of a sudden---right at the corner of my bed.
I found myself clouded with a deep sadness. " I feel so lonely." I whispered. Pulling myself altogether. I give myself a hug--- "Everything's going to be ok".
But why I am crying so hard?