Malady volume 1

'Hmm, loving arms are waiting for me somewhere up on the hill or at the corner of the alley who knows when, that was the thought of her that day before everything happened later on, to change her entire life. Sai was not only a young, energetic or even spontaneous woman who lived with her parents, but a good breath of fresh air among the freshers for a start in anything. She was a local journalist of an online newspaper. A bit of a last runner in her career but she was completely okay with it.

Very social and charming little girl whoever saw her once they couldn't believe their eyes that she was a journalist who they thought a school girl or just a girl from neighbourhood.

I have to talk to him, how was he? Missing his soft voice messages on my phone. I met him in a spring festival. He was wondering around a book stall, checking every dark suspicious books, bargaining the price then accepting his failure of loss and moving on with another book stall. I was right behind him when he accidentally saw me standing there the whole time and watching his embarrassment. He got angry at me and yelled to me as if I was harassing him but no one was there to listen him because of all the festival noises. I was like a new kid, born that day infront of him and with all the abundant devotional curiosity trying to understand his problems. But who could make me understand what was his problem with me. Just an obedient pet following around him in the whole festival like an abandoned cat. I have no idea what was wrong with me that day but I did it anyway. He didn't noticed anything. I was following around him, just watching him, what was he doing alone in the festival, I was a columnist in an online newspaper, so everything is legal. When he saw me again then I introduced myself to him. He was surprised at first then I took him for a snacks and drinks, with his permission of course. I was little optimistic about these things. Then I learned he was an artist but his talent had no intention to be likeable by the common people but he was not frustrated at all, moreover he was highly enthusiastic about his unique talent. Why his paintings were unique because he only use five colours black, blue, red, white and green, he named himself augustine, even the name had a reason of itself but he wasn't prepared to share the whole story with me. From then to now we are a best friend. Everyday, we took a good morning walk together then breakfast then got back to our everyday jobs. It was okay at the start but he was lately feeling some kinds of uneasiness around me. I had no idea why probably falling in love with me, giggling to myself, it was funny at first then he started to create distance with me, I understood it was my que to leave him alone. I was in deep within him but he loved to ignore it as usual though I think he knows it, later on he started to explore his nearby forest for inspirations. Now, I don't know, I still keep missing him everyday, especially his cute little voice messages every now and then to alarm me not to fall in love instantly with him or anyone. Lately, he kept forgetting to leave any messages or hangout with me. Don't know why. Never took me to his place that I could even give him surprise visit. Pathetically sad love story that I am experiencing right now. I really wonder, why he is like that but I have no answer to get any solution of his problems.

I was working like a dog, keep missing his presence, doing my everyday lifestyle to enjoy the life with utmost respect and comfort in my budget but seems everything turning into nothingness. I was a good student like the scholarship type but didn't have that thing to win me one. Not that much of a popular either, so when I met another kind of me, I was instantly loved that. It is half past nine, I have to send him a voice message but before that I need a good bath, whole day was a headache on my ass. I had to attend the conference from my newspaper agency, new articles I have to study and write about, how bad it can be. Water is too cold needing a steamy shower, sulking at my utterance limits of real life and it's time for voice message before my bed. What should I say, it seemed an half a year but actually a week or more, should I say I love you or miss you, no, no, it might hurt his innocent ignorance, hmm, well, can't decide. With her thoughtful endeavours about him, wanting to send him a sweet voice message so he could run into her quickly to love her unconditionally, but the time slept away in her heart while holding her mobile on her bosom, it was a sound sleep indeed. One hand holding her mobile close to her bosom and another was above her. At exact 8 o'clock in the morning, a call wake her up, just before that she felt a simple touch of a hand on her other empty hand, as if it is never going to let her go, always going to stay with her, in his loving arms with safety and soundly secured, with his sweet voice, he was whispering in her ears, I will always be with you, probably he was going to say more but then the mobile rang, so, she took the call when a stranger asked her, is it Sai? She said yes. Then added do you know Augustine, he is founded dead in his room this morning, he was ill with high fever, just before his death, he left a message for us, I meant whoever founded him, he left a message for us to call you, the whole house is sealed by the government, because he was a loner, there was no one around him or beside him to take care of him and no one even knows about his illness but we took the liberty to receive his messages and a painting that was left for you, are you going to accept it? She was shocked stone, couldn't understand what to say to him, then with broken hazy voice, she said yes, I would like to accept his gift but could I see him? Then the guy stopped talking for a while and said no, because he was taken to the hospital as an specimen of a rare disease, it took a week to kill him and it might be outrageous for sharing any type of physical contacts with anyone, it was for your own safety madam, we will deliver to you his last gift and messages that were only meant for you. Then she said, nothing, just crying silently over the phone. The man spoke to her again then said, please send me your location to deliver your things then cut off the call.

He died a month or more before without saying a goodbye to her, she didn't touched anything that was send to her. Those things were left alone to her storeroom just like he left her without saying anything to her. She spoke to him a week before his death but he didn't say a word about his illness, nevertheless, not even shared his home address that she could take any kind of initiation to show her care for him. He was just a selfish arrogant man who was suffering from his psychological illness and later it cope up with physical one. She was completely awfully absurd by the thought of him, even feeling disturbed to herself for feeling bad and useless for him. It was all his fault to make her feel that way. Arrogant dog, always in a barking mood to anyone who accidentally even like him for a minute, jerk. It was good for the society that he died or a man like him who was such an unstable, unbalance, anti social, moody and poor guy was a dangerous disease as a man himself and moreover, he died on a rare high fever that everyone is unknown to it. Only he could harvest such a disease from the nature. She was soaked with frustration and sadness, unknowingly to herself, she went to her storeroom, unpacked his belongings that were left for her, a some sort of book or probably a diary that was larger than usual size, there he kept all those feelings that he could not say anything to her in small messages, his all failures in life, small sketches of her with him, his dreams with her that all he tried to draw there, ideas of various kinds of artwork that he couldn't stay long enough to finish and a painting of him with her, she was on her lap, both of them sharing intimacy, shyly giggling with each other that was never happened in real life. That was the first time when she saw his complete work of five colours. She couldn't resist it anymore the temptation of crying out loud in that gloomy storeroom that was witnessing her feelings which was completely unaware of her own ignorance of his deepest desires.