TROUBLES OF LOVE

The winds were howling; the temperature was stuck at the freezing mark. I wore only a sleeveless cotton blouse and a pair of leggings that stood little chance against the chill. But I do not appear to feel uncomfortable because i had just caught my partner cheating, I mean my ex. I wanted to surprise John, so I got him rice and chicken from chicken republic. When I got to his house, I knocked but there was no answer. But thank Goodness I knew the code to his lock so I was able to open the door. As I entered, I heard loud moans coming from his bedroom.

I could hear the bed screeching and my heart raced fast as I ran to the bedroom hoping what I was suspecting was not true. On John’s bed, I could see him thrusting his penis into another woman’s vagina while they both let out loud moans. They were both immersed in the moment that they didn’t even notice my presence. Not until I yelled his name. He jumped up and quickly picked up his boxers and wore it. I couldn’t bear the site of what I was seeing so I walked out of the room. He followed me calling my name and saying “I can explain.” “Explain what John? Explain what?” I yelled as I burst out crying. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what got into me.” He said as he scratched his head with his finger tips. “You are only sorry you got caught. Please delete my number. This will be the last time you would hear for me. Men ain’t shit.” I said in between sobs and stomped out of his house. I sat down on a bench in front of his house, I couldn’t walk because I was still in shock. It was freezing but I couldn’t feel. My phone started ringing, John was the caller. So I removed the SIM card out of anger and broke it. I started reminiscing about how men have treated me so far. Maybe love ain’t just for me. At least John tried to apologize, the last relationship I was in before this one he didn’t even flinch when I caught him. Instead, he told me to get out. He didn’t even call me afterwards. He dumped me without any explanation. I was broken for months. I kind of blame myself because I had seen red flags, but I ignored. I knew he was cheating but I thought I was the main girl. Not knowing I was only one of his side pieces. I blame my self for tolerating shit. I walked down the street questioning my self esteem. “Am I not good enough? Am I ugly? Don’t I have a great body? Am I unintelligent? Wait am I dumb? Why do they keep treating me like dirt?” I questioned myself as I sighted a bar and I decided to enter and go get wasted. Because my thought process was fucked up at that moment. I sat on one of the stools in the bar and asked the bartender to give me one shot of vodka. After taking it I asked for more and more until I was drunk. I thought being drunk was going to help with the pain. But I could still feel the burn in my heart and I started crying. “Are you okay miss?” A stranger that was seated next to me asked. I looked at him with disgust in my eyes and said drunkenly “what do you want? Do you want me to fall in love with you? So you could break my heart? Oh maybe that’s why you’re acting like you care. You guys are all the same. I hate men.” The man had a confused look on his face before the bartender said “I think she just got her heart broken.” He ignored what the bartender said and moved closer to give me a hug. As I sunk into his arms I broke down in tears again and said “ I loved him, i loved.” The man said with a calm voice “it’s okay” as he pats my back.