A VIVID FANTASY OF CHANGE AND DEVASTATION

"In short, they gave us anabolics and we were subjected to gene therapy. We were able to get much more exercise than we ever had before. We passed any type of test. It was amazing! It´s not very healthy according to internet conspiracy theorists, but they paid us triple to participate in the program."

The soldier stood guard at night. He had gotten used to seeing me every two or three days when insomnia kept me awake and, my patience running out, I left the capsule for the gym.

Contrary to what I had believed, the surveillance I was subjected to was not so rigid. I mean, the cameras were always watching; but the good doctor had to sleep, and he had left clear instructions to the staff: unless I caused trouble, or spent more than three hours out loitering around, I was not to be disturbed. I could walk the halls, go to the dining room, the showers, read or exercise.

The doctors suggested that I sit down to meditate when I was starting to get bored, but my constant wanderings inside my fantasies were meditation enough.

The third time I saw the uniformed I decided to greet him with a wave of the hand, and he did the same. A couple of days later we started talking, and thanks to him I found out some things the good doctor had forgotten to mention.

"And why did you leave the program? Any side effect? Did you start to feel bad?" I asked while exercising my pecs.

"To feel bad? Of course not. I felt... strong, fast... tireless. Like... like a machine," he mumbled distractedly with his eyes fixed on my chest.

"Then..."

"They abandoned the program three years ago, when they built that machine... just like the one where they keep you, and they started putting people there. They didn´t need us anymore, I guess."

"I thought so..."

"What are you talking about?"

"The eternal search for the superman."

"You imagine? Stronger, tougher soldiers... We felt like... Yes. Superman. The enemy gets tired, but you can go on and on until you finish him off."

"And who was your enemy?"

"Well I don´t know now. I never saw the battlefield. We could have beaten anyone..."

"So... you were lucky."

"Lucky?"

"You didn´t have to kill."

"Yes. That´s true. Although I´ll never know..."

His voice sounded melancholy.

"What you could have done."

He nodded with a slight smile.

"Would you have wanted to fight?"

The sparkle in his eyes said it all.

"Don´t worry," I continued. "You´ll have the opportunity."

I never pretended to be clairvoyant, but I could see it in the near future: his face alert, tense and sweaty, aiming everywhere with his almost empty gun, stuck in the midst of chaos in a fallen city where the few lucky survivors killed each other for anything remotely resembling food.

There in the safety of the base, he had no idea how hard he would have to fight.

"What are you talking about? Three years have passed. I am practically a veteran. Well... I would be if I had fought. But now there are better soldiers... better than me. Younger and stronger, and from what rumors say... they are extremely difficult to kill. Casualties will be greatly reduced in the next war. Why would they need me?"

"Better?" I asked, leaving the machine motionless and staring at him.

"Sure. No anabolics or anything like that."

"DNA recombination, like you?"

"Like me? No. I am the test model. Now they have a totally new model, and they also upgrade them on that thing, you know... that capsule."

Then I remembered what the nurse told me, and I assumed that if that soldier was talking about broken promises, that woman was referring to projects and experiments that had turned out much worse than planned. Or maybe she only saw the first proofs, and he saw the final product.

I took two small dumbbells and with one in each hand I started jogging on the treadmill. I found that jogging helped me focus and put my thoughts in order.

"And that is faster than what they did with you?"

"Quite faster. And more efficient. Many have been in and out of that machine. It´s like magic."

Three years. Three years testing that technology and perfecting soldiers. Who knows how many they had created... Who knows what they could do with such an army... An unstoppable army. The prospects were pretty dark.

I have done little or nothing throughout my life, and for sure I did some bad things like doing improper searches on the internet; but now I was with people who were responsible for true humanitarian and environmental catastrophes, in addition to numerous wars that have left millions of dead around the world. And I´m not referring to the military when I say this.

If you don´t understand, let me tell you that armies only invade, rape, torture and kill. But it was scientists who created the atomic bomb. Each scientific advance placed at the service of the armed forces, in addition to the occasional ambitious businessman; and all the powerful men in the world competing to see who is the strongest.

When I returned to the capsule room the matter was still on my mind. I remember thinking, "I´ve only been here a few months, and even the highest-ranking military man on the ground is afraid of what I might do if I got mad. In three years... What could they have achieved?"

I came into this world not knowing what to do with it. In fact, I didn´t know until I reached adulthood. Well... I thought I knew. Most people think they know what they are coming into the world to do, but they don´t even know where they stand. And now that I know, everything is destroyed. Well... actually, not everything. Only the world they knew was destroyed. That we all knew.

I am responsible for what many dramatically call The Apocalypse. How exaggerated! Life on earth has suffered through numbers of mass extinctions. The only thing I did was stop the power of man, of humanity. A change of rules or, if you prefer, the end of the rules.

If you wanna name it some way, you can call it The Fall Of Civilization. I know it seems like the end of the world, but it´s not that bad. The world was already going to hell on its own, and people didn´t know about it. I only put a stop to all that, and forced them to face the horror that we have caused.

You can hate me if you want. Sit in front of the television and pretend nothing happens, but that won´t do anymore. Your TV will no longer turn on or entertain you. Nothing will divert attention from the collapse. Say goodbye to comfort and "the bliss of ignorance."

They all run scared, but their fears are irrational. They think it´s the end of everything. The end of the ages. Actually, it´s the beginning.

"Why are you so calm? Haven´t you heard what´s going on outside?" The nervous man in front of me whispers, wanting to shout.

My calm despairs him. It´s funny coming from a trained and improved soldier who, he told me, wanted to fight. There is a lot of danger out there. I told him he´d get his chance.

Lounging on a dusty bed while others are dying for a few crumbs or a drink of water, I smile at the thought that a little mess is okay sometimes.

OK. Maybe it was too much. Maybe I overreacted. The situation got completely out of control. But things could be much worse if I had regretted it. The consequence would have been war. I haven´t seen those super soldiers in person yet, and I really hope they haven´t made it. Or at least that they couldn´t get as far as I did.

Don´t get me wrong: I´m not afraid of them, but I like things the way they are. Although others see this as a disaster, I experience it as peace. A peace made of rubble, dark forests everywhere, wild animals repopulating each region and strange creatures of nightmarish shapes that previously only inhabited imagination.

In the world before the change everything was predictable; and that´s why a few had so much power and the rest was screwed. What the world has least now is predictability. No one knows what will happen the next day, or what they will become. Become? Yes, that´s what I said. I know how it sounds, but I guess everyone will have a chance if they really want to change. If I did... Right?

I like to think that the magic that we used to hear about in stories and movies has returned. Although I understand that most people don´t like it.

As I said, for me this is true peace. And I think this peace will end if I have to face them. Maybe I´m being selfish.

Do you want to know what the world would be like with that army at the helm? If they emerged, there would be a very bloody war. A terrible image had appeared to me for a second: an endless line of humanoid creatures dressed in uniforms advanced on any form of life that was still standing, the machines devoured large tracts of land in different parts of the world leaving only a trace of death and devastation. Explosions, fires, screams of terror and crying mixed with clear sounds of gunshots. I could hear buildings collapsing as I ran through the rubble that threatened to crush me only for them to continue attacking. A senseless madness that at all costs I preferred to avoid. I still feel on my neck the look of those tireless guys who chased me at full speed. Four armies of those bastards?! And I'm supposed to just watch those guys take over the world? They must have assumed that I would do something. Perhaps they knew.

War, destruction and slavery; though not necessarily in that order. I really hope I have avoided it, but that depends on those four armies. Will they have survived? I hope not, but I guess we´ll see.

Anyway, remembering the supposedly better times, I prefer this hell.