Safe Place

Disclaimer:

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to an actual person, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

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[ Lana ]

Awakened by her own gasps, Lana struggled to catch her breath as her manicured finger nails dug into the cotton sheets. The new king size bed was larger than what she was used to, but was one of the few splurges she'd afforded herself to kick start her new life.

Everything was new, and as her heart rate began to settle, she glanced around the room that still felt foreign.

Reaching to the nightstand, she tapped the screen on her smart phone to see it was four o'clock in the morning, four hours before she was to begin her shift at the bakery. Her nerves were already buzzing, the uncomfortable feeling of new beginnings swirling in her belly.

Glancing at the brown cardboard boxes that littered her bedroom, Lana was pushing the horrible thoughts that woke her deep into her subconscious. The darkness always seemed to follow, casting a shower over every day, but this time was going to be different.

Taguig was the fourth city she had moved to since leaving her husband Danny two years ago. Things had gotten too bad for any other option, she had to leave so that's what she did. Unfortunately, Danny didn't give up easily, making normalcy a thing of the past for her.

Suddenly, she flipped the covers across her body, revealing her bare legs in the coolness of the apartment. The stark furniture made the night wind even chillier than usual. On the balls of her feet, she crept across the room, peeking through the white wooden blinds onto the bare street below.

She'd thought she heard a strange sound, but upon further inspection decided she was just being paranoid as usual. It was still surreal, to finally have her own place after so many months of hopping from one short term rental to the next, constantly looking over her shoulder.

Hoping to avoid the disappointment of failure, Lana had been sure to set no expectations for this new stint. When she landed a job, effectively restarting her life, she thought this might be the fresh start she needed. Satisfied with the safety of her new condo, and sure she wouldn't be able to fall back to sleep, she ruffled through a box that sat half opened in the middle of the room.

It was filled with pictures, many torn in half to remove the memory of Danny. Her husband had turned out to be someone she would have never married had she known. It was all like a bad dream now, one that constantly chased her, torturing her with the memories of the past. Unable to work due to his controlling ways, she had spent most of her time locked away in their mansion, cut off from the world. It took over a year for her to even notice that gradually, she had cut all of her friends out of her life.

He had a way of making his control feel like love, until thing escalated to a level of danger she couldn't stomach. The thoughts still haunted her, and she shook her head as she dug through another box, this one filled with toiletries.

Making her way across the bedroom, she entered the bathroom which had been a major selling point for her when she toured the condo. There were few things she enjoyed more than a long, hot bath. The oval lagoon tub was all she needed to see before she was ready to sign her name on the dotted line and move in her things.

The moving man was shocked to learn that she only had four bags and six boxes to move, but to Lana it was more than she was used to having. Living on the run meant parting with things quickly and frequently.

As she lined her cosmetics up along the bathroom sink, she got a glimpse of herself in the mirror, and noticed a sparkle in her eye she hadn't seen in many weeks. Despite her wish to avoid setting expectations, she felt good about building a life in Taguig City.

Thankfully, she had been smart enough to set money aside during her marriage, so Lana could afford to live comfortably without a job. Her new gig at the bakery was about more than money, it was her way to meet new people and try new things.

When she finished organizing her toiletries, she decided on a bath, slipping off her silk nightgown as the waterfall faucet gushed warm water against the porcelain bathtub. Grabbing two bottles from the countertop, she sprinkled lavender Epsom salt in the water before pouring in a capful of creamy bubble bath.

As she sank down into the water, she alowed the frustration of waking up too early to slide off her shoulders. It was much better that she slowly transitioned into the day, because she knew it would be a difficult one.

Change, and dealing with it, was not one of her strong points. She tended to crawl into her shell after being controlled so meticulously by her husband. Freedom was scary at times, but she was determined to return to the happy and carefree girl she was just a few short years ago.

Wetting the thick cotton of her wash cloth, she pressed it against her neck, feeling the tension. She was stressed, after spending three weeks searching for a place to live. Real estate was rare and extremely expensive in America so she was lucky to even get the one-bedroom apartment, although she wanted more space.

More than an extra bedroom, Lana wanted a place of her own. It didn't matter if it was a one room shack, she needed a place to call home. Restarting her life was going to be hard, that much she knew, but establishing a routine without a safe space felt impossible.

With her long hair hanging down her back, she glanced around the white bathroom, imagining ways that she could make it feel more like a home. The modern finishes left it feeling like a showroom without any personal touches. After washing her hair, bathing, and exfoliating, she walked through her new place wrapped in a bath towel. She was going to relax as she prepared for her day at the bakery. Without much of a social life, she didn't have much else on her schedule, so her day tended to revolve around her job.

It was actually her favorite café, right at the end of her block, perfect for the morning coffee or evening dessert. When she went in one morning to see a sign in the window seeking a new barista, she thought it too good to be true.

But within a week, she had finished her paperwork and began her training. It was exciting to be learning new things and meeting her co-workers. Her trainer was really nice, Lana had met her briefly when she had gone through orientation.

The owner was British-Filipino and he taught lessons on his high-end desserts after you had mastered the barista station. Lana was eager to make the best lattes and cappuccinos she could, hoping they would garner his attention, and encourage him to share more with her.

Walking into her large closet, she dug through one box, selecting a pair of light blue denim jeans. Next, she found a t-shirt. Few occasions demanded attire more fancy than her regular uniform, and she was grateful to learn it was perfectly fine for the bakery. She'd have an apron on to cover her outfit, anyway.

Looking herself over in the mirror, Lana thought she looked good, after finally gaining back some of the weight she lost in the months leading up to and after leaving her husband. She had gotten rail thin, a shell of herself. Now, her curves were finally coming back and she liked the sight.

Pulling her hair up into a ponytail, she looked over the stack of make-up she had unpacked, carefully considering applying a little mascara. Afraid it might draw extra attention she wasn't looking for, Lana decided against it and instead spread a moisturizer onto her face.

Again, she found herself at her window, checking to see if anyone was waiting downstairs. But there was no one, and she appeared to be safe. For a quick moment, she debated going for a walk since she still had time to spare before her work shift began. But it was too dark, and she knew that until the sun came up, there was no way she would feel safe alone.

Instead, she made her way to her small eat-in kitchen. She had ordered a few things online, and unpacked the coffee maker first. Almost mechanically, she set it next to the refrigerator. Danny always liked the coffee maker next to the refrigerator so that he could easily get his cream, but she had never agreed.

As if it had just occurred to her that she no longer had to do things his way, Lana quickly moved the coffee maker to the other side of the kitchen, just below the window. Eager to finish setting up, she moved to another box and pulled out her favorite mugs, unwrapping the newspaper covering each one.

Last, she retrieved the stand, carefully hanging each mug as a small smile crept across her face. This was the first place that would be set up to her desires, and the thought made her happy.

Slowly, she made her way around the room, opening one box after the next before finding the perfect place to store each item in her kitchen. When Lana fnally finished, she moved to the living room, where she unpacked one box before it was time to go.

It was great that the bakery was just down the street, because she hadn't gotten a car, too intimidated to drive the busting City of Taguig taking her time to admire the brightly tall row buildings, Lana took a deep breath, feeling at home for the first time in a long time.

With a pep in her step, she made it to A Slice of Suzeth, the neon light shining brightly in the window. The aromas from the bakery poured from the corner, making the corners of Lana's lips curl upward with satisfaction.

She loved the place already and was excited see what she would learn today.

"Good morning," an older man called as he held the door open for Lana.

"Good morning, Mr. De Vega," Lana beamed, thrilled that she had remembered his name.

Mr. De Vega was one of the regulars at the bakery, spending nearly every morning with his black coffee and custard danish. He was one of the first customers she had ever served, and she looked forward to his cheery banter whenever she had a morning shift.

"It's starting to cool down," he continued, as he followed her inside. His white hair blew in the wind, the fall weather beginning to require a jacket.

"It sure is," Lana smiled back to him, watching as the older man walked cautiously to the booth he occupied every morning.

Slowly but surely, she was developing a new normal, creating a life on her own terms. It was refreshing, and scary, but she was grateful for the fresh start. At only twenty-eight, she often felt a decade older with all that she had been through in such a brief time span. Women her age were just beginning their lives, while she was starting over. Anything was better than the nightmare that had become her life during the last year of her marriage. Reminding herself of how far she had come, Lana made her way behind the counter, greeting her co-workers as she settled into her station.

This was all new, and her heart fluttered at the idea that she could finally be reaching the light at the end of the very long and lonely tunnel she had found herself in after leaving her husband. The future was bright, and Lana was optimistic, ready to seize all the opportunities this new life would afford her.