I had my world; it was almost nothing but it was all I had. One day there was something new in my little world, Danny became everything to me, but in a single instant I lost everything I had. I met Danny on a dating site, and as we got to know each other I identified more and more with this beautiful, destroyed boy. It wasn't long before I was completely in love with him, I would do anything to keep my boy safe, kill whoever I needed to kill to keep him safe. But when the rest of my little world collapsed, Danny was eventually swallowed up, I had nothing left, there was no reason to live anymore, him being around me made him swallowed up. I was ready to give up my life when a woman, the personification of evil offered me a choice.
Tragic. That's the only word to define those days, when I fell from paradise and was cast into hell as Lucifer. When my love was ripped from me without warning or mercy and carried away.
My name is Anthony but my friends have always called me Tony, and at the beginning of it all I lived with my mother Jessica. My mother was divorced and did her best to provide a good education for me, as well as keeping the house afloat, even though it cost her everything she did what she could. I have always been grateful for this, although I miss my father sometimes, especially when I started to doubt my sexuality. These are usually matters between father and son, no? "That talk," or how a boy's body starts to change in adolescence.
After a long time and a few relationships, I was able to understand that I liked men, but I didn't want everyone to know. After all, young men can be cruel. And how cruel they are.
When I was 17 years old my friends would comment on some dating sites, but always with a tone of "maybe you can't die alone huh", this made me a little irritated so I always ignored them. But they were right, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't fall in love, I could have a relationship but I always felt extremely empty, as if something was missing inside me. I tried to fill it with everything I could, like sex or casual encounters with men that honestly were not even worth the effort of leaving my precious house. But that's life, some people just aren't meant to love.
One day during break I was walking through the halls when my friend Sarah came running up to me, with a beaming smile.
"Hey Tony, I have some news!"
"Don't tell me you're back with Felipe, because if you start that shit again, I swear I'll have you committed to a mental institution."
"Of course not, and I already told you that was the last time."
"Then tell me your 'big news'."
"You know that website that everyone is talking about?
"The one you always use to remind me I'm stuck?"
"That's the one, dear stuck-up."
"Very funny. But then, did you find anyone decent there?"
"Yes!!! His name is Nick, he is super affectionate and gorgeous. We just went out last weekend and I'm already super into him."
Hearing her tell me this with such a bright smile made me happy for her, but it also made me feel apprehensive, considering her history with relationships.
Sarah was an extremely beautiful girl, with her long black hair, her eyes that had a light brown color and long eyelashes, the body of a doll, and the style of dressing that reminds one of an Instagram influencer. But when it came to relationships, she always got into a different mess, ranging from an abusive and controlling boyfriend to some weird stalker who set a date with her and started stalking her everywhere.
I wish she could be happy at least this time.
My thoughts are interrupted when Sarah says:
"You should try it, it's not such a bad site."
"Sure, why don't I take advantage and stamp on my forehead "I'm gay, please date me!!!"."
"Come on, don't be so dramatic! You don't have to shout to the seven corners that you're gay, but you don't have to die alone either."
"You know I'm not lucky in love Sarah, it's no use."
"Look, I already gave you the hint, it's up to you. Just be careful you don't become bitter and alone until you die."
"Thank you very much for your words of encouragement, but I'm off. The bell will be ringing soon and I have to get to class. Good luck with your new boyfriend.
"See you later stranded."
I flash my middle finger and walk toward my classroom, still thinking about what she said to me. Maybe I should try it, maybe it won't be so bad. As long as no one in the school besides her knows there won't be any problem, so why not try it too?
The sign indicating that I could finally leave was playing like music to my ears. I walk out the school door and look for my dear friend Sarah, and I see her getting into a black car that I must admit: it was very beautiful. And she waves to me with the same radiant smile and in the driver's seat I see a blond boy in an ash shirt with sleeves, who I deduce is the guy she had told me about earlier, so I just keep walking home.
During the walk home, I walk slowly and stop when I hear an extremely loud sound that was similar to iron hitting the ground, I continue walking but stop when I realize that the noise was coming from a nearby alley. I get closer to see what was happening, but I am surprised when a boy knocks me to the ground, when I look at him, I realize that he is bruised and with dirty clothes, as if he had rolled on the ground during a fight.
"I'm sorry! Is everything okay?"
He asks me still panting. And I just try to do something in response.
Before I could swear at him or ask him if everything was okay, he starts running again desperately, then two other boys run past me chasing him and disappear into the street. After a while of sitting there trying to process what has just happened, I just manage to shoot one:
"What the fuck just happened?"
As soon as I get up, I realize my situation. I was all dirty and realized that I had fallen into a mud puddle, hatred consumes me at the same instant and I curse for the rest of the way home, and as I remember the face of the boy who was being chased, I realize that he was definitely very handsome.
I could remember him clearly, with dark brown wavy hair, honey-colored eyes with small eyelashes, and a small silver earring in his left ear. I was worried about the situation he was in, but I knew nothing about him, not even a name I had only his appearance. Since apparently, I could do absolutely nothing to help him, I decided to let it go and just continue on my way home.
Chapter 1 Chap
05/07/2023
Chapter 2 Chap
05/07/2023
Chapter 3 Chap
05/07/2023
Chapter 4 Chap
05/07/2023
Chapter 5 Chap
05/07/2023
Chapter 6 Chap
05/07/2023
Chapter 7 Chap
05/07/2023
Chapter 8 Chap
05/07/2023
Chapter 9 Chap
05/07/2023
Chapter 10 Chap
05/07/2023
Chapter 11 Chap
07/07/2023
Chapter 12 Chap
08/07/2023
Chapter 13 Chap
10/07/2023
Chapter 14 Chap
16/07/2023
Chapter 15 Chap
16/07/2023
Chapter 16 Chap
20/07/2023
Chapter 17 Chap
20/07/2023
Chapter 18 Chap
26/07/2023
Chapter 19 Chap
04/08/2023
Chapter 20 Chap
05/08/2023
Chapter 21 Chap
06/08/2023
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