Pat, an 18-year-old international student from Indonesia, is in her first year of computer engineering at a prestigious university in an unfamiliar country. She finds herself constantly lost in the labyrinthine hallways and struggling to navigate the complex academic and social dynamics of her new life. One day, she happens to stumble upon Leo, a 20-year-old third-year mechanical engineering student from Turkey. Their chance meeting blossoms into a deep friendship filled with shared interests and emotional connections. As their bond strengthens, Pat finds herself falling in love with Leo, despite his friendly demeanor with other girls. Secrets, insecurities, and sacrifices shape their relationship, leading Pat down a path of self-discovery and heartbreak.
Chapter 1 January 2020. (1)
As I relaxed in bed, swinging my feet back and forth laughing hard at the reels Gwen, my best friend, sent while on a video call with her. "Be my girlfriend?" a message popped up on my phone's screen, making my heart stop for a moment as I was taken aback. It was from Leo, a guy I had been admiring for a long time. "Gwen!" I called out.
She looked at me, "What's going on? You're screaming, Pat." visibly disturbed. "Guess what?" I grinned.
"Did you find yourself a sugar daddy, and now we're rich?" she teased. I was momentarily puzzled, then burst into laughter. "No, no sugar daddy here."
Gwen asked eagerly, "What's the news then?" I felt my cheeks redden, "He asked me to be his girlfriend!" throwing my feet up in the air.
Gwen stared at me, still trying to figure out who the person was. "Who asked? Leo?" she asked to confirm. Leo was the only boy I talked about in most of our chit-chats. Thrillingly "Of course!" I replied. It felt like I had been waiting for this day, and finally, it had come.
"That's so cute! I'm happy for you, Pat,", She expressed but her happiness seemed forced. "Your cheeks are as red as my bank account right now," she pointed out.
I grabbed a hand mirror to check and was surprised to see that my cheeks were indeed a vibrant shade of red, illustrating the intensity of my blush. I had blushed so hard that even my teeth were visible.
Glancing at Gwen's face, it was evident that she wasn't genuinely happy upon hearing the news. "Gwen, aren't you happy that Leo asked me to be his girlfriend?" I asked, feeling bothered.
She looked at me "I don't know how I feel about it but I have a bad feeling about him. He just doesn't seem right for you," trying to make me understand her. I've had long conversations with Gwen about Leo, and it was evident that his behavior raised more red flags than green flags. His major red flag was his being too friendly with girls, and his green flag was his smarts and my liking for him. I looked at Gwen in disbelief. "Are you jealous that I have a boyfriend?"
"No, P.P. Pat," she stammered. "I'm sorry, but that's not what I'm trying to say. I'm only trying to look out for you, Pat. It's just that I struggle to put my thoughts into words. Please believe me, I'll never be jealous of your happiness," she tried to explain.
"I understand and appreciate that you're looking out for me, but at least pretend to be happy," I urged Gwen. "He told me he'd cut them off once I accepted to be his girlfriend." I tried convincing Gwen, "He likes me, and the feeling is mutual." That was the beginning of my delusion.
Gwen replied apologetically "I'm sorry, Pat. I didn't mean any harm,".
Feeling dissatisfied with Gwen's reaction, I decided to end the call. Despite Gwen consistently pointing out these concerns, I chose to overlook them. My admiration for Leo persisted for a long time. I didn't reply to Leo's text that day but I remained excited, thinking about how my first kiss would be when I finally got to see him. I thought about Leo all night, to the extent that I dreamt of kissing him. Waking up with a smile, I quickly returned to sleep, still consumed by thoughts of him.
I was utterly infatuated with Leo. Leo and I had been talking for a month and a half, but I was already deeply swayed by him from our very first encounter. Leo stood at 5'7" and was also light-skinned, had a unique fashion sense, and had an eloquent way of speaking. His appearance and speech conveyed a mix of uncertainty and certainty. He was 20 years old.
At the age of 18, I already possessed a captivating presence as a teenager. My caramel skin glowed, and I had mesmerizing hazel eyes. My hair was a striking feature that I took great pride in. It was long, reaching past my waist, and thick with strands that were as black as the night sky.
When I would run my fingers through it, I could feel its softness and the way it flowed like silk. It was a part of me that I cherished, and I always made sure to take good care of it. As I walked by, my graceful figure and impeccable fashion sense effortlessly carried an air of elegance. I had quite a lot of admirers.
However, it was not just my physical attributes that drew attention; my genuine kindness and intelligence shone through, captivating everyone I encountered.
Leo wasn't just academically smart; he was also good at playing basketball. All he needed was a basketball coach to sign him, and he hoped he'd be getting paid. He would always tell me how he envisioned himself being on the court, dribbling past his opponents as he made a shot dedicated to me.
That made me feel special. I had so much hope in him, and I was always ready to support him. I became his motivator and advisor, and I was almost close to being his second mother.
I was also 5'7 but always made myself feel shorter around him. I stopped wearing shoes that would make me a bit taller. before we started dating.
How I met Leo:
My encounter with Leo was a fortunate coincidence. He was already in his third year pursuing mechanical engineering, while I was beginning my journey in computer engineering. One sunny afternoon, we happened to cross paths while walking through the engineering faculty.
I was captivated by Leo's striking appearance, confidence, and manner of speech. Curiosity got the best of me whenever I watched him from a distance, which made Leo notice. He walked up to strike up a conversation with me, and we engaged in a friendly chat, discovering shared interests and a connection that seemed to spark instantly.
We exchanged numbers afterward, and we would always communicate. You could tell I had a thing for smart guys, regardless of their physical appearance. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't settling for less either, but seeing Leo made me ignore every other thing he possessed. He was my type of fine, or maybe I was just attracted to his intelligence. Leo's charming demeanour and eloquent speech only heightened my interest in him.
We spent countless hours together, ensuring that the time we shared was of the highest quality, and this deepened our bond even further. Laughter became a constant companion as we exchanged jokes and humorous anecdotes. We would have deep conversations, exploring our dreams, fears, and aspirations, which brought us closer together.
It was during these intimate moments that our connection solidified, forming a strong emotional foundation. His actions spoke volumes about his character, and he consistently proved himself to be a true gentleman. What started as a by-chance encounter on campus gradually transformed into a friendship infused with deep feelings. With each passing day, my love for him grew stronger, and I found myself falling head over heels for him. Love, vulnerability, happiness, but also doubt, pain, and uncertainty flowed through me.