SECOND CHANCE IN LOVE - HEART FEARS SERIES

Arlet Rivera

The Great Loss

I open my eyes and see a white ceiling. Slowly, I turn my head to the side and observe several machines, recognizing that I am in a hospital room. But what happened? I try to sit up, but I can't. My body is heavy as if something is holding me down on the bed, and this sensation is terrible. My throat is dry, and I can't swallow. I feel an immense urge to cry. What happened? Where is my daughter? My husband? A tear streams down my face. I slowly move my head and look ahead, where I see the door to the room. I want to scream, to get up, to know what's going on. When I look at my belly, desperation hits me. I don't see my pregnant belly. I try to get up again, but I can't! My body is like lead, so I start crying desperately.

I don't know how long I stay here alone, silently crying, with no one by my side.

"Look who's awake!" I hear a nurse say as I suddenly realize she's standing right in front of me. I was so distracted that I didn't even see her come in. "Do you feel anything? Why are you crying?" she asks as she begins to check my vital signs.

But not a word comes out of my mouth, I can't even move.

"I want you to try to stay calm, okay? I know you're confused and want to know what happened, but your blood pressure is very high, dear. Please try to calm down, or I'll have to give you a tranquilizer. Calm down before I call the doctor." Her way of talking to me doesn't make me feel comfortable. I know something serious happened, but despite everything, I try to stay as calm as possible, even though all I want to do right now is scream.

Some time passes and Mrs. Haile enters, and when she sees me with my eyes open, she starts crying.

"Gracias a Dios, mi hija" (Thank God, my daughter) she approaches carefully, hugs me, and cries, then my crying starts again.

We stay hugged and crying for a long time. It's like she needed it, like she had been holding on for a long time. I want to ask her what happened, but my voice won't come out, as if something is blocking it.

"Mrs. Martinez," the nurse calls for her attention. She then releases me and sits on a chair next to the bed. The nurse looks at me and says, "I want you to stay calm. We don't want another hypertension episode here, do we?" She says it with affection and looks at my mother-in-law, who nods her head.

She holds my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

"How are you feeling, my daughter?" There's a sadness in her eyes, and it terrifies me. I want to answer her, but nothing comes out of my lips.

"She's not saying anything, ma'am, it's normal considering what she's been through," the nurse responds. "Don't worry, this warrior will speak soon," she gives a comforting smile. "I'll call the doctor," and then she exits the room, leaving my mother-in-law and me alone.

The silence between us is distressing. I try to get her attention, but she only gives me a sad smile and says nothing. To be honest, I'm even afraid to know what happened.

I don't know how long it was after that, but a doctor named Henrique Vales, whose name I saw written on his lab coat as soon as he entered, began to examine me. He doesn't say much and starts examining me. When he gets to my legs, I don't feel his hands on them...

"Mrs. Rivera, I know it's difficult for you to make a sound, but from what I can see, you can move your head well, so I'll do some tests on your legs, okay? I don't want you to get agitated, I just want to confirm what the tests have already shown. After this test, we'll talk about what happened to you, all right?" I nod my head.

He takes out a kind of pen and doesn't fully uncover my legs. The way I'm lying in bed, I can't see clearly if he's touching my legs or not.

"Let's try this, can you feel this?" I shake my head in negation. "And now?" Again, I shake my head. "Can you feel anything, ma'am?" I shake my head again and big tears start to wet my face even more.

"I want you to listen to me carefully, as difficult as it may be. I want you to try to stay calm. Otherwise, I'll have to give you a sedative, and I don't want that, and I believe you don't want it either," he says. I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and nodded my head. "When you arrived at the hospital, you were unconscious. It was said that you fell down the stairs. Do you remember anything?" I shake my head. "It's normal not to remember now, but I believe that with time you will remember. Going back to the beginning, you arrived unconscious due to a fall on the stairs, causing a head injury that led to a coma that lasted three weeks. One of your vertebrae was broken, causing you to lose sensation and movement below the waist," he continues. As he speaks, I feel an unusual pain in my chest. "There was also a displacement of the placenta, causing the death of the baby you were expecting, as it was without oxygen for too long... I'm sorry for your loss."

I looked at him in disbelief. I turn to look at my mother-in-law, who is no different from me. Tears wet her face. I turn my attention back to the doctor.

"The pain of losing a child is certainly the most overwhelming and terrible pain, an unimaginable suffering because in the loss of a child, you lose a piece of yourself," he says with compassion. "I'm so sorry, and I wish I could do much more, but nothing could be done. Unfortunately, there wasn't much I could do to help you. However, I can say that I'm sure your daughter, still little, is another little star that now shines in the sky."

After hearing his words, all I want now is one thing. I want to scream and release the pain from my chest, but all I can do is cry. I try to calm myself down and gather the strength to speak, but finding the words becomes a struggle.

"My... my..." I take a deep breath. "Hu... sband," I manage to say amidst my intense crying and the profound loss I feel.

The doctor looks at my mother-in-law and lets out a sigh. I look at her, and she takes my hand, squeezing it tightly, her eyes filled with tears.

"There was an accident, my daughter," Heile says. "On the day everything happened, my son took a wrong turn, crashed the car, and didn't survive," she says, crying.

A sob escapes my lips. I can't breathe, my chest hurts... Everything hurts! My head starts to feel heavy, and soon everything goes dark.

•••••••∞•••••••

It was difficult to hear that I had lost my baby that my husband was dead, and that my beautiful little daughter was suffering. I constantly ask myself why all this pain? Oh, my dear Ariano! How can I convince my heart that you're gone? I can't believe you're gone. I feel sad and alone. Everyone tells me I need to be strong. I need to let you go so you can find peace. I understand that my suffering isn't good for me, but no one understands what I'm going through. I was happy not long ago, and suddenly, my world was shattered in half. I have to live with this pain, and I have to do it my way! I need to be alone, cry, and think about you. Now, I can feel your love just by being alone and in silence, listening to the beats of my heart. When I think of you, I know I will suffer because you're not here, and there will be difficult days. I will suffer for a long time, and every time I remember you, my heart will cry and ache for your loss.

But I know that one day this pain will fade away, and I don't want to hold on to it forever. When I feel it's time to embrace life again, I will let go of the pain and sadness, leaving only longing. That's how I will navigate my grief and learn to live without you here! And regardless of what others see on the outside, what matters is what I feel in my heart... my love for you. The greatest pain one can experience is losing a loved one. Powerlessness in the face of death reminds us of our humanity and makes us realize how fragile life is.

Despite the suffering, we must confront death with strength and courage. We must understand that even though our loved ones are no longer with us, love never disappears. It remains eternally in our joyful memories, which sometimes carry a bitter taste of goodbye.

Love and cherished memories persist after death. Enduring the pain, shedding tears, and suffering, while knowing that I will never be alone in my pain, brings some solace. I gaze at the sky, and I'm certain there's a star shining up there, illuminating every step I take. When this pain subsides, and only longing remains... it will always make my heart ache, but the memories will stay alive in my heart and give me strength to smile again. Moving forward and embracing life in peace, finding happiness can be arduous and agonizing. We all have a purpose in life, and we must follow our path to become a star in the vastness of the sky and the infinity of eternity.

At least justice was served for my daughter. After all the misfortunes that have befallen us, some good news has emerged to bring us some relief.