What The Heart Desires

He shall never know I love him; and that not because he's handsome, but because he's more myself than I am.

- Emily Brontè.

Chapter one

Ivy's POV

It's over Ivy, I can't do this anymore'.

I remember how my eyes drooped as I stared at the text message from Micheal on my phone, Micheal's abrupt message pierced me like a shrad of grass, leaving me feeling broken and shattered. How I rushed to see him for an explanation, and how his words cut me through like a knife.

"You're not the girl I thought you were, Ivy. You are boring, unimaginative, and suffocating. I need someone who's more than a pretty face, you're not enough, you will never be enough."

He told me that it had been fun but he's done, that some other girl had caught his fancy. And when I tearfully told him I loved him, all he could say was "thanks, but I think it's high time we moved on."

My dreams in the following weeks were filled of him, I woke up every morning hating him for treating me the way he did, and myself for giving him that much power over me.

"Ivy! Someone's at the door." My mother called from the kitchen, I groaned, turning in my bed. "Oh God."

Of course I knew who it was, it's my best friend, Tracy, we had planned to go to Starbucks and have our favorite vanilla flavoured ice cream and chocolate cookies, well she planned.

I knew it was part of her plan to get me leave the comfort of my room for a second and go into the world again.

Sluggishly, I stood up from my bed and walked towards the door, my arms hung limp at my side, weighing a thousand pounds each, as if the mere thought of leaving my room was too exhausting to consider.

As I opened the door, the sweet aroma of freshly baked pancakes wafted from the kitchen, making my stomach growl with hunger.

My eyes grazing blankly at the floor as I muttered a half-hearted 'I will get it Mom' in response.

When I opened the door, Tracy's bright smile and alluring blue eyes greeted me, her voice booming through the hallway,

"Hey, girl! she exclaimed, her opened arms inviting me for a hug.

I smiled lazily as I mutter a warm 'hey' in response to Tracy's cheerful greeting, I relax into the warmth of her embrace, feeling the softness of her orange cotton sweater and the gentle pressure of her hands on my back.

But she didn't allow it linger much longer as she drew me back, holding me in place with her hands, her eyes studies me.

"Don't tell me you aren't dressed yet".

"What do you mean? I'm not naked, am I?" I replied playfully, shifting my body to allow her come in.

"Oh, you know what I mean," She rolls her eyes. "We planned to go out today, don't tell me you forgot, cause I know you didn't". She said coming into the house.

"Hmm, what's that coming from the kitchen? My God! what's your mom making?" Tracy asks sniffing her way towards the kitchen.

"She's making pancakes." I replied, following her into the kitchen, but stops in my tracks. My mom was humming a familiar song that I grew up hearing and loving. It was hers and my late father's favorite song, 'We've got tonight; by Kenny Roger.

"Hi ! Ma'am" Tracy greets, smiling her way into the kitchen.

"Hey! Tracy darling, how are you doing?"

My mother had always liked my friendship with Tracy.

In highschool when Tracy's mom divorced her father, leaving her behind. Mom would always pack extra lunch, so I could share with Tracy, and often, Tracy would stay with us for days refusing to go home. My mom have always been more welcoming towards her than to my other friends.

"I'm doing just fine ma'am."

" And your father? Hope he is doing great too?" Mom expertly flipped the pancakes, the sizzling sound feeling the kitchen.

" Yeah, he is" Tracy mutters dryly, Tracy doesn't like discussing her father.

"Who wants pancakes? Mom asks.

" I do", Tracy and I chorus, both of us grinning.

"Mom where is London? Haven't seen him since I left my room."

London is my younger brother, the family's smile keeper. It's either he's in his room playing videogames or he is out playing football with Daren, a friend of mine who lives two blocks away from our house.

Mom turns to me, in an amused tone. "He is out with Daren, he said something about them planning on how best to deal with Michael for hurting you, in his words, no one hurts his sister and gets away with it."

" He'd better know what he's doing," I said, trying to keep a straight face but fails as a smile leaks it's way to both sides of my mouth. I drag a smiling Tracy to my room.

Getting into my room I shut my door and sat on my bed. "Tracy, sorry to cancel our plans but I'm not really in a state to be outside today."

" I know you're going through a tough time, Ivy , but I won't let you hide yourself in your room all day." Tracy dropped her slouchy grey totes on the armchair before joining me on the bed.

"I'm here for you, as a friend and a sister". She says sweetly to me.

" I know and I love you for that, but please understand" I plead, giving her my baby face look.

" Fine, then what do you suggest we do since I'm here already" she asks surveying my room.

"A good movie will be just fine." I answer smiling.

Ok, that will do, but first we need some fresh air." she said standing up and moving to the window, she pulls the curtains open.

As the curtains open, the bright sunlight streaming through the window highlighted the dust motes dancing in the air.

Twenty minutes into the movie, holding on to our plate of pancakes Mom brought, Tracy was so engrossed in the movie but I wasn't really feeling it.

"Oh come on! We all know that's not possible" I argued staring blankly at the screen.

" Yeah, we all know it isn't real, it's called fiction for a reason," Tracy counters taking a forkful of pancakes into her mouth.

"I miss my Ivy, you know, the one that loves romantic movies and stuffs.

"Well your Ivy is heartbroken" I replied leaning into the bed.

" I'd hate to say this now sweetheart, but I told you so, I told you Michael was bad news, it was written all over him, the way he treated and enslaved you in his lies was sickening".

" I was blindly in love with him, Tracy, I was foolish and I let him play with my heart." My voice cracks as I fight tears.

" Girl, don't you dare shed a tear over that stupid, undeserving Micheal" She reaches for my hand. " He's not worth it."

"I'd given everything to Michael, my first kiss, my love, my body" It takes me my all not to break down. " And he took it for granted, he said it to my face that I wasn't enough.

"No he's damn wrong, you are more than enough, and if he couldn't see that, then he lost."

I smiled looking at my best friend "I love you so much girl, you know that right." I said, my right hand havering on top her pancakes.

"I love you too but get your hands off my pancakes," She said moving her plate out of my reach. "This is the only place I get to eat food made with love, the food made at my place is too formal and serious."

"Yeah sorry for being a shitty friend by not asking about you, how are you holding up at home?" I asked concerned.

She shrugged nonchalantly "Same as always, I'm not allowed to do anything or go anywhere without people following and watching me like I'm a baby."

"Being the only child of our very own Mr Timothy Thomas comes with a price." I said smiling at her.

"Oh tell me about it, I'm just locked up in big Castle with no one to talk to, so yeah you can call me 'the forgotten princess'." She said rolling her eyes.

"No offense but you really do look like a princess, a pretty blonde princess with sapphire eyes" I said teasing her and she gives me that look that says ' not helping.'

" Okay, message passed, how's your gallery, you stuffing them up with paintings?".

"Its the only thing I'm allowed to do by myself, although I fear it would run out of space with my mental health these days" She drops her empty plate beside mine.

" I wanted to show you my recent drawings in my gallery if only you would leave your room for a moment." She said laying at her side, her hand supporting her face.

" I would love to see your paintings, princess." I reply and she throws her pillow at me, laughing.

" I know, maybe someother time."