A Mother's Sin, A Son's Reckoning

A Mother's Sin, A Son's Reckoning

Sumner Upsdell

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The crystal glasses clinked in our opulent gallery, a melody of my mother Olivia's engagement party. I was her protégé, her son, her heir-everything I ever had, she gave me. But watching her laugh with David, his arm possessively around her waist, a familiar knot tightened in my chest: a suffocating need for her sole focus. In a desperate, childish search for comfort, I buried my face in her scarf in her private suite, only to hear her voice, "What are you doing?" Olivia' s face, a mask of disbelief, hardened into rage. "You were sniffing my things like some kind of pervert... I take you in, I give you a life, and this is how you repay me? With this... this obsession?" She advanced on me, eyes blazing. "You need to be cleansed. Go to The Gauntlet. You will stay there until you shed these perverse thoughts!" The Gauntlet. A brutal, secretive art collective for artists who had committed "grave sins" from which no one returned whole. A prison. The next morning, Olivia took a heavy metal ruler and brought it down hard across my knuckles, shattering my painting hand. One year later, a broken shell of the artist I once was, I returned to Olivia. David, her fiancé, reached out to pat my head, a casual, condescending gesture. My body flinched violently, anticipating a blow before I forced myself to submit. Olivia saw the flinch, the tremor. "Have you learned your lesson?" she asked, her voice cool and measured. My damaged tongue slurred, "Yes, I understand. I truly do." I thought my obedience would finally soothe her, but it only made her uneasy. She didn' t see my torture, only my alarming compliance. Then came the airplane ride, triggering flashbacks of being thrown from cliffs into churning water. Next, the mansion, my home, was empty of my beloved cat Mittens, rehomed due to David' s allergy. I could only nod numbly, fear overriding every other emotion. A can of soda, offered by Olivia, ignited memories of forced chugging until I choked and vomited. I gulped it down, the searing pain a familiar companion to my terror. Later, in my old room, Olivia's knocking became the signal for The Gauntlet's "clients," forcing me to prepare for violation. I fumbled frantically, unable to respond, and threw myself at her feet, begging, "Don't hit me! Don't hit me, I'll be quick!" She slapped me again and again until my face was red and swollen. I was pathetic, disgusting, tainted. She left me on the floor, the video of my begging playing on loop next to my father' s portrait. I couldn' t love her. I couldn' t even be near her. I raised my own hand and began to slap my face, a desperate plea for self-punishment. "Alex will never love Olivia again..." I passed out on the cold, hard floor. I just wanted to be free.

Introduction

The crystal glasses clinked in our opulent gallery, a melody of my mother Olivia's engagement party. I was her protégé, her son, her heir-everything I ever had, she gave me.

But watching her laugh with David, his arm possessively around her waist, a familiar knot tightened in my chest: a suffocating need for her sole focus.

In a desperate, childish search for comfort, I buried my face in her scarf in her private suite, only to hear her voice, "What are you doing?"

Olivia' s face, a mask of disbelief, hardened into rage. "You were sniffing my things like some kind of pervert... I take you in, I give you a life, and this is how you repay me? With this... this obsession?"

She advanced on me, eyes blazing. "You need to be cleansed. Go to The Gauntlet. You will stay there until you shed these perverse thoughts!"

The Gauntlet. A brutal, secretive art collective for artists who had committed "grave sins" from which no one returned whole. A prison.

The next morning, Olivia took a heavy metal ruler and brought it down hard across my knuckles, shattering my painting hand.

One year later, a broken shell of the artist I once was, I returned to Olivia. David, her fiancé, reached out to pat my head, a casual, condescending gesture. My body flinched violently, anticipating a blow before I forced myself to submit.

Olivia saw the flinch, the tremor. "Have you learned your lesson?" she asked, her voice cool and measured.

My damaged tongue slurred, "Yes, I understand. I truly do."

I thought my obedience would finally soothe her, but it only made her uneasy. She didn' t see my torture, only my alarming compliance.

Then came the airplane ride, triggering flashbacks of being thrown from cliffs into churning water. Next, the mansion, my home, was empty of my beloved cat Mittens, rehomed due to David' s allergy. I could only nod numbly, fear overriding every other emotion.

A can of soda, offered by Olivia, ignited memories of forced chugging until I choked and vomited. I gulped it down, the searing pain a familiar companion to my terror.

Later, in my old room, Olivia's knocking became the signal for The Gauntlet's "clients," forcing me to prepare for violation. I fumbled frantically, unable to respond, and threw myself at her feet, begging, "Don't hit me! Don't hit me, I'll be quick!"

She slapped me again and again until my face was red and swollen. I was pathetic, disgusting, tainted. She left me on the floor, the video of my begging playing on loop next to my father' s portrait.

I couldn' t love her. I couldn' t even be near her. I raised my own hand and began to slap my face, a desperate plea for self-punishment. "Alex will never love Olivia again..."

I passed out on the cold, hard floor. I just wanted to be free.

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