The Memoirs of Mr. Charles J. Yellowplush

old. My mamma called me Charles James Harrington Fitzroy Yellowplush, in compliment to several noble familie

the name of a part of his dress; however, it’s stuck to me

up my buth in a mistry. I may be illygitmit, I may have been changed at nuss; but I’ve a

in sattn and rooge, and sometimes in rags and dutt; sometimes I got kisses, and sometimes kix; sometimes gin, and sometimes shampang; law bless us! how she used to swear at me, and cuddle me; there we were, quarrelling and making up, sober an

n (for they bust out laffin when I called her Miss Montmorency), and gev me bred and shelter. I’m afraid, in spite of their kindness, that my MORRILS wouldn’t have improved if I’d stayed long among ’em. But a benny-violent genlmn saw me, and put me to school. The academy which I went to was called the Free School of Saint Bartholomew’s the Less — the young gen

y eye!); but one day, a genlmn entered the school-room — it was on the very day when I went to subtraxion — and asked the master for a young lad for a

many and many dozen chaps has he seen hanging there. Laws was laws in the year ten, and they screwed chaps’ nex for nex to nothink. But my bisniss was at his country-house, where I made my first ontray into fashnabl life. I was knife, errint, and stable-b

, who kep a tilbry and a ridin horse at livry, wanted a tiger. I bid at once for the place; and, being a neat tidy-l

old-laced hat, a drab coat and a red weskit, to sit by his side, when he drove. I already began to ogle the gals in the carridges, and to feel that longing for fashionabl life which I’ve had ever since. When he was at the oppera, or the play, down I went to skittles, or to White Co

ve in such a hole. He had only a ground-floor in John Street — a parlor and a bedro

r but proliffic couple, who had rented the place for many years; and

or some such think; and, as I heerd afterwards, had been obliged to leave on account of his NERVOUS

ther being a bankrup in the tallow-chandlering way, left, in course, a pretty little sum of money

ensions. In an unlucky hour for Shum she met him. He was a widower with a little daughter of three years old, a little house at Pentonwille, and a little income about as big

house (not counting kitching and sculry), and now twelve daughters in all; whizz. — 4 Miss Buckmasters: Miss Betsy, Miss Dosy, Miss Biddy, and Miss Winny; 1 Miss Shum, Mary by name, Shum’s daughter, and seven others, who

while you were looking up to prevent hanging yourself with the ropes which were strung across and about, slap came the hedge of a pail against your shins, till one was like to be drove mad with hagony. The great slattnly doddling girls was always on the stairs, poking about with nasty flower-pots, a-cooking something, or sprawling in the window-seats with greasy curl-papers, reading greasy novels. An infernal pi

nd go into hystarrix. Little Shum kep reading an old newspaper from weeks’ end to weeks’ end, when he was not engaged in teaching the ch

mont to dwell in such a place? The reason

d black gownd, which had grown too short for her, and too tight; but it only served to show her pretty angles and feet, and bewchus figger. Master, though he had looked rather low for the gal of his art, had certainly looked in the right place. Never was one more p

down to the public-house for the beer; Mary, I intend to wear your clean stockens out walking, or your new bonnet to church. Only her poor father was kind to her; and he, poor old

s a-going on, and the old tune of that hojus “Battle of Prag.” Old Shum made some remark; and Miss Buckmaster cried out, “Law, pa! what a fool you are!” All the gals began laffin, an

taking her pa’s part. Mary Shum, who was always a-crying before, didn’t shed a tear now. “I will do it again,” she said, “if Betsy insults my father.”

ou naughty gal, you! for hurting the feelings of

because she c

Shum, looking mighty dignitified,

ose, if possible, higher than before; “I should like to see

fex of her exsize, and she began to pour in HE

y, to marry a creatur like this? He is unfit to be called a man, he is unworthy to marry a gentlewoman

ers, and they despised their father heartily: indeed, I have always remarked that, in famlies where

she wouldn’t stop, this time, till Shum had got her half a pint of her old remedy, from the “Blue Lion” over the way.

“if I might make so bold, here’s master’s room empty, and I know where the cold bif and pickles is.” “Oh, Charles!” said she, n

do believe I should have kist it, when, as I said, Haltamont made his appearance. “What’s this?” cri

ss Mary, sir,

think it was the tip of his to) touching me behind, and found myself

the matter, as I was cussin and crying out. “

says Mrs. Shum

ter’s room, m

s room, ma,” cries Mi

back.” And then Miss Shum went bouncing up the st

.

a LITTLE too strong for two such rat-holes as he lived in. I do blieve the famly had nothing else but their lodger to live on: they brekfisted off his tea-leaves, they cut away pounds and pounds of meat from his jints (he always dined at home), and his baker’s bil

her sisters, and this was genrally Mary — for he made a pint of asking her, too — and one day, when one of the others came instead, he told her, very quitely, that he hadn’t invited her; and Miss Buckmaster was too fond of muffings to try this game on again: besides, she was je

e the two young ladies — Miss Betsy and Miss Mary, in course. I recklect he called me aside th

I’m genrally conside

atre is over, you must be waitin with two umbrellows; give me one, and hold the other over Miss Buckmaster: and, hark ye, sir, TURN TO T

Kimble! talk of Magreedy! Ashley’s for my money, with Cartlitch in the principal part. But this is nothink to the

“This way, sir,” cries I, pushin forward; and I threw a great cloak over Miss Betsy, fit to smother her.

way up the street, away from the crowd of carridg

mud, “Has anybody seen Coxy’s fly?” cries I

ackin wan pass,” giggles out another gentlmn; and there was such a hinterchange of complime

; but the coachman wouldn’t have it at that price, he said, and I knew very well that SHE hadn’t four or five shillings to pay for a wehicle. So, in the midst of that tarin ra

s arms, while master begun cussin and swearing at me for disobeying his orders, and TURNING TO THE RIGHT INSTEAD OF T

ad drove up and down in the greatest fright possible; and at last came home, thinking it was in vain to wa

d I do believe is hignorant to this day of our little strattygim. Besides, all’s fair in love; and, as my master could never get

the night at Ashley’s, they were as tender as two tuttle-doves — which fully accounts for th

y master was in love with her, but she loved muffing

lar part of my hist