A Search For A Secret (Vol 1 of 3)

of the first comers to me, and Percy brought up more. He had engaged me for the first waltz, and he pr

n who may be introduced to one. Besides, it prevents dancing a second dance with any particularly pleasant partner,-that i

to me, and I wanted to see everything; and in this way I was less engaged in int

faces, and very exquisite the dresses. Not one of them all through was more lovely than Ada, and almos

had a languid air about them which impressed me unpleasantly. They gave me the idea that they had gone out so much into society that they had quite ceased to care for dancing, and that even conversat

to my enjoyment was that the rooms were so very full that one was dreadfully squeezed and knocked about. However, on my ventu

y one has been remarking to me how pleasa

n my ignorance; for, at some of the balls I went to afterwards, t

with a few exceptions, they were not interesting. But they all danced well, and that part I did enjoy most thoroughly. Most of all I liked my dances with Percy, for he told me who every one was, and did it really good naturedly, while some of my other partners, who had done the same, had been as sarca

hat he did so; the second dance after supper, coming up to me as I was leaning on Percy's arm, after my polka with him, and saying, in the quietest way, "I believe I have the pleasure of this dance, Miss Ashleigh," he carried me off immediately the music struck up, before my real partner, whoever he was, could find me. Not being accustomed to this sort of thing, and not having the least idea who it was I was engaged to, I felt quite nervous and uncomfortable for the next dance or two, expecting that every gentleman who came near me was on the point o

stantly filled, but, with the exception of strawberries and cream, I did not recognise a single thing he gave

once did so, I began to think they would never come up again, they were such a terribly long time; and it seemed such a waste to be sitting still doing nothing, with that spl

upper, and my partners more agreeable and chatty; besides, some of the people had left, so that there was more room, and I enjoyed it accordi

gged so earnestly for two dances that I had no excuse for refusing him; but of all the partners I had that evening, I disliked him certainly the most. He was a handsome man, that I could not deny; but that was al

great approval of my appearance and manner. I curtsied low when Ada told me,

the music, of shouting for carriages and prancing of horses; and then, in a very short time, they we

f your first ball?"

d simultaneously; "we could h

sfied with everything. But now let us go off to bed; we sh

er, very long

our feet into slippers, and then sat by the fire in my room talking

on, Ada, we may as well give up all idea o

go into he

leep yet. We shall not breakfas

t, until, before the end of a month, I had had quite enough of parties

rcy always accompanied us there, but he did not often go the balls, which I was sorry for; I liked him so much as a partne

sked me to dance; and, although he was very slow to see that any one really could dislike dancing with so very exalted a person as himself, he at

h never appeared-was laughing at me about him, when I said, sharply, th

g obtained my willing consent, took to calling me Agnes, while I don't think I called him anything; but really Percy came almost naturally to my lips, for Ada had so often spoken of him to me by that name. "I am very glad to hear you say so, Agnes; Ba

Ada said. "Pray what offence has poor Lor

nce, Ada; but I can

"I never heard you say anything against him befo

Percy said, dogmatical

inally intended. She kindly said that it was so very advantageous and pleasant for Ada having me with her, and, i

r more, than the dancing. Ada told me one morning, when I had been there about five weeks, that I was gett

attentions to you. Now, Percy, you have certainly nothing to sa

e in Percy, "why,

he is more than three years older than Agnes. Don't mind what he says, my dear: you have my free consent and

of always talking such ridiculous nonsense;" and Percy

es in comic amaze

I do not remember his being so fierce with me since I was twelve years old. One would think he had

not know," I s

ey was in question, he became furious against him; now, he is enraged with me for recommending tha

ring greatly. "Your brother no more thinks anything

about him," A

"except as an old school-fellow and friend; and I really a

nd talk to you all the time the music is going on. No doubt, however, he is criticising the performance for your benefit; but, as he never speaks loud enough for me to hear, of course I could not guess that. Another thing too, is, to say the least of it, strange-Percy, till you came, was at work all day in his room upon Sanscrit and Hindostanee, and smoking so, that, in spite of the double doors which he has on purpose, the upper part of the house used quite to smell of his cigars, and I was alwa

e, to enjoy the little quiet-well-flirtation at the opera, that, up to this moment, I can say honestly that it had never seriously entered my head that Percy Desborough cared for me. As, however, I thought over all our conversation to

my face, that I had arrived at the conclusion that it was as she said, she jumped up from her chair, and

nes! you know I am right,

a little, and

sure of what

if he had. Have I not seen the way he looks at you when you are not noticing him? M

m very much indeed, but it never entered my mind that

does?" Ada persisted,

h, Ada!" I exclaimed, suddenly. "What would Lady Desborough say? Oh, I do hope it is n

t look at

e, I dare say she would have thought nothing under a duke's daughter good enough for him. As it is, all that is changed. She was very angry indeed with him about it, but she has given it up now. Here he is in a regiment which in a year or so will go on foreign service; he is mad enough to intend to go with it, and where is he then? You

rough to feel was true; so I kissed her, and told her that she had talked quite n

rather, perhaps, with a cousin; but now, to feel in my heart-as I now did feel-that he looked at me in quite another way, made me feel different, and at times a little awkward with him. Before, if Ada left the room for any thing, I continued to

ining away so; but I told her she had no one to blame but herself,

night, and said he was only waiting for an opportunity of sp

me as she used to do at school when

f, especially to Ada, who would be sure whatever she promised me, to tell Percy. So I said at last, "There is no use, Ada, in his speaking

to see Percy?" Ada aske

ent on, "It is not for me to suggest, Ada; but as you have promised to come down for a week to us, in another six weeks when the season is over

s consent; but I was by no means sure of my own resolution if he asked me, which he was certain to do if I did not somehow put it off. Ada looked me full in the face, she saw that it would

nd refer him to your papa? It would be the

ever shall do, papa would be sure to give his consent because he loves me. But before I am engaged to any one, I should like

more comfortable with him. His leave expired, and he went away three or four days before my visit ended. I took care the last day or two not to be alone with him, for I confess I doubted my own resolution as much as I did his. Howeve

papa will be very glad to see you, if yo

as if he were going to kiss me. If Ada had not been in the room, I believe he would have done

speaking of my leaving on the following day, and he remarked almost seriously how much I should be missed, to which I replied with laughing disbelief. After the dance was over we took our seats on a sofa placed in a c

iss Ashleigh? Now I can assure you that at least by me your absence will be keenly fe

im as a very pleasant partner, and had liked him very much, and I assured him th

should; but don't you think you could some day. Is it quite impossible that you may in time get to care for

yours is without being able to requite it. It will be a matter of lasting regret to me. But it would be cruel kindness to deceive you. I cannot encourage you even to h

arnestly, "I have their consent

d at their willingness to receive me; still, their consent must have been the

t it was so, and that his parents'

tion, however high that may be. And now, I can only say again how sorry I am for the pain I have given you, but that it cannot be. I sha

appeal would be hopeless, and the t

by where the countess, his mother, was sitting. I saw she looked at us anxiously, and as her son caught her eye, he shook his head slightly in answer to the question she asked, and I could see her eyes open, first in astonishment, and then soften with a variety of emotions,-sorrow for her son's disappointment,-pleasure that he was not going to make a

ave my best wishes;" and she shook hands with me very kindly and affectionately, in

alk, and said, "Agnes, I was going down the stairs to get an ice, and I saw you and Lord Holmeskirk go into the conservatory

t that, after what I had said to her about Percy, she should

p me waiting, Agnes: you don't know how anxious

aid, rather coldly, "I should have thought it ha

bleman; I know I never could;" and so she went on till she coaxed me into a good humour again, and we talked a long time before we went to bed. And so my gaieties ended, and next morning, bidding adieu