Book of Etiquette, Volume 2

a conversation that lasts not longer than a summer shower whether or not a man is cultivated. Often it does not take even so long,

to the inner circles where he would most like to be. Money does not buy everything. If it were possible for it to do so there would be no proverb to the effect that it takes three generations to make a gentleman. And the proverb itself is not more than half true. If the attitude of mind is that of one who honestly wants to

ERSA

ver." But it is not enough merely to have a tongue in one's head. That tongue must have a certain

be an art, for nature never gives that which study accomplishes. And by study you can become a master of speech-you can make words a veritable torch, illuminating yo

to imitate the sounds of the animals in the forests. He found the need to express himself, his sensations, his thoughts, in more definite and satisfactory manner. He wanted to share his joys with his

bestowed upon us. Yes, speech is a power. It is a most effective weapon, not only to social success, but to the very success of life, if one does not igno

OF CORRE

ce speech is never used in solitude, we may take it for granted that the spoken word is an expression of the longing for human sympathy. Thus, it is a gr

gathered together for the definite purpose of conversation-of "chatting." Among these people, representing the highest intellectual class in France at the time, there developed the taste for daily talks-the tenden

those delightful gatherings of long ago, and our own drawing-rooms and social circles where brilliant men and women gather

ch, a certain beauty in correct conversa

IN CONV

You talk to them." Other instances of how respect and courtesy can be shown in co

On the Fiji Islands, a woman does not talk to her mother-in-law, and among the Sioux, a young man does not talk at all unless someone e

onversation is by common consent insufferable, and a man who regulates his choice of topics by reference to what interests not his hearers but himself has yet to learn the alphabet of the art." To

ct that in their conversation they had spoken the truth-and hurt some one. To-day there are certain recognized courtesies of speech, and kindliness has taken

r again the same words and phrases and one should not fall in the habit of asking people to repeat their remarks. Argument should be avoided and contradicting is always discourteous. When it seems that a heated disagreement is about to ensue it is

be, "Talk well, b

VO

n be nothing more characteristic of good breeding than a soft, well-modulated, pleasing voice. This quotation from Demosthenes is only another way

sly. Conversation should have less emphasis, and more quietness, more dignified calmness. Some of us are so eager, in our determination to be agreea

say it calmly, confidently, through your mouth and not through your nose. Too many people talk through tightly closed teeth a

is to enhance the pleasure and beauty of the conversation. Rapidity in spee

IN

appeals to the ear, gesture to the eye. It is an agreeabl

." Confusion is the enemy of eloquence. Self-restraint must be developed before one can hope to be either a good conversationalist or a social succes

castically is to sacrifice one's dignity and ease of manner. Know what you want to say, be sure you understand it, and when you say it, be open for criticisms or suggestions from those around you. Do not become flustered and excited mer

ASES AND

which one has been accustomed for a long time. Yet good society does not tolerate these er

n "How are you" are provincialisms which have no place in the cultured drawing-room. One must drop

in that unbeautiful manner, nor were we meant to gesticulate wildly as some of our drawing-room orators persist in doing-to the amu

CE OF VO

filled with gaudy, inharmonious embellishments. One is effective, the other defective. And yet to express i

w, definitely, that no matter how popular slang becomes in the less refined circles of society, you will never use it because you

ing more valuable than a good standard dictionary. If you haven't one-a new revised edition-get one righ

talk less, and listen politely while others lead the conversation. There'

G THE SPEEC

ung Armenian woman. She would be horrified at the idea of addressing a woman older than herself, unless first spoken to.

much as an apology! It is bad form, to say the least, but it is also distinctly rude. No person of good breeding will interrupt the conversation of another no matter how startling and remarkab

room is no place for personal secrets or hidden bits of gossip. The man or woman commits a seri

N CONV

int of speech, it is wise to examine carefully and frankly all your opinions before expressing them in

tion the names of people about whom you are talking in such a way that anyone overhearing the conv

t. If they wanted assistance, they would probably ask. People are sensitiv

ou do ask questions, make them of a general character, rather than personal. But never be curious, because people res

say, and then talk quietly, deliberately and with sincerity. Never criti

ORTANT I

elp to talk very slowly and take deep breaths between each two or three words. For stammering, deep

e saying, and forget all about how you are saying it, you will forget your shyness. Respect y

onsult a specialist if ordinary methods fail to prevent it. Such habits as hesitation, coughing, or groping for a

elf appear brilliant and inspired, for you will only succeed in making yourself ridiculous. Be modest, pleasant, agreeable and sympath

O TALK

aries, there is no excuse for the man or woman who finds that he or she has "nothing to talk about." In the newspapers ev

touch of human interest in it, and if you tell it with the desire to please rather than impress, your audience will be interested in your conversation. But to remain quiet, answering only when you are spoken to, and allowing conversation to die each time it reache

worthy of repetition. It may be an interesting little story, or a clever repartee, or some amusing incident-but whatever it is, make the appeal general. It is a mistake to talk only

hardly help becoming an agreeabl