Charles Auchester, Volume 2 (of 2)

have had to entertain myself but for the unutterable entertainment at all times to me of a walk. She bought enou

ecstatic, at present. I was, indeed, anxious that if she accomplished her intentions at all, it should be in the vacation, as she studied so ardently at every other time; and it was this anxiety that induced me to leave her alone the next day

ecific department, and six for the academical course,-the latter had been advised for me by Davy, and acceded to by my mother. I gave up at present nearly my whole time to mastering the mere mechanism of my instrument, and had no notion of trying for any prize at all. I believe those of my contemporaries who aspired thus were very few at all, and Marc Iskar being among them had the effect upon me of quenching the slight fever of a desire I might have had so to distinguish myself. It struck me that Maria should try for the reward of successful co

I wish to be able to marry as soon as possible. I believe I am to study under Mademo

about it. I suppose you do

the sooner I shall return,-to all I want, at least. But I have it not in my power to say I will

shall not see you f

ind that after

er loved to talk t

reason you are sorry,

ile. I could see she was very sad, and, as

t told me one word

d not a

to see it, to hear it; for, Maria, don't tell me

l, Carl. I am often disco

s not Anastase appro

would not tell him for a wo

f it would do you any good, even

is poor: he could not collect an orchestra; and

at is it

know I am

red nothing; it was

esire it to the full as much as they. The second still lingers,-it will not be invoked. I could, if I could calculate the

it upon the pian

thus; and, strange to say, though I

believe

olly for me to have undertaken this writing,-for we are

ted in it; for a thought, almost an idea, flashed straight across my brain, and lighted up the future, that was still to remai

now. Suppose you lend it to me for a little. I s

way, for if I keep it with me, I shall destroy it; and I shall like it to remain until

red my possession, or that she might withdraw it. "You will ask me for it when you want it; and, Maria, I have h

ee with me, Carl, that all which has

r ideas of it; and I daresay you found that your beautiful feelings would not change themselves into music exactly as beautiful as they were. I kn

lished? But I feel that if I could not produce the very highest musical wor

at; I would rather wors

imond, he could not put this feeling out of me. I am not content to be an actress. There have been actresses who were queens, and some few angels.

yes,

ier among musicians. I have often wondered why. And I feel-at least, I did feel-that I could be

look with which she followed it in my arms as I left her. But I dared not stay, for fear she should change her mind; and although I would fain have entered into her heart to comfort her, I could not even try. I was in a breathless state to see that score, but not much came to my examination. The sheets were exquisitely written, the manner of Seraphael being exactly imitated, or naturally identical,-the very noting of a fac-simile, as well as the autograph. It was styled, "Fir

hat Anastase should not be with her, or at least that he should appear, as he did, so unconcerned. When I expressed my regret to Joseph Cerinthia, he added that she was only in bed for a cold. I was both pleased and flattered th

Maria, you w

ressed. Carl, I sent for you t

r state. Neither tears nor smiles were upon her face, and her lips burned with a living scarlet,-no rose-soft red, as wont. Her hair, fastened under her cap in long bands, fell here and there, and seemed to have no strength. She had been drinking eau suc

night, and danced. I knew how it wo

re going from Cecilia, I declined. But no dancing would have made m

hen? It seems m

h. Let me have my score again, Carl. I need

of course return it, but not unless you

e ill on purpose that I might have a d

nd I suspect much that I know how. If you will tell me, I will fetch the score,-that is, if it is good for you

hts grew bright,-bright as when I imagined that music; and being in the same mood,-that is, quiet and yet excited, if you can believe in both together,-I went to my writing. It was all there ready for me; and Josephine, who always disturbs me, because she talks, was very f

valier is al

ten until I could not see, for my lamp went out, and it was not yet

as that

nd when I looked up, it seemed to return my gaze. I heard a sound under me, like an orchestra, such as we have often heard. But above, there was another music, and the golden pipes quivered as if with its trembling; yet it was not the organ that seemed to speak, and no instrument was there besi

overwrought, seraphic; for though her hand, which I still held, was not changed or cold, her countena

most as sweet. It was very natural, but you were very, v

were quite as ice. I was about to turn a leaf when I shivered and dropped my pen. But when I stooped down to find it in the early twilight, which, I thought, would help me, I fell upon the floor. My head was as if fire had burst into it, and a violent pain came on, that drove me to my bed. I h

Maria, it is out of the question;

do nothing for it, and says it is constitutional, and that I shall always be sub

o have anything a

les; everything. The woman here has waited upon me, and has been very kind;

hes,

hem on whenever I choose. Did

ause I could not bear to think about leeches. I

t they have taken away the pain, and that is all I care for. They

the marks

hieroglyph to me of unknown suffering that her face expressed, though I

re, I will tell Anastase. Or no,-I have thought of somethi

mote corner, I gathered all the papers, and folding them together, was about to rush downstairs without returning to Maria, when she

was not even girl-like, I halted

re, on your honor, will you not

affair, Carl,

pale, with two crimson spots, a

our brother or Florimond. He or Florimond w

rite? I should say you were jealous, Carl, if you were not

y fear, but I am afraid, and, M

he street, and deposited the sheets with the others in the box. I am conscious these details are

ooked at me, and did not speak to me at all when I managed to meet her. Anastase alone seemed conscious that she had been ill. He appeared unable to rid himself of the impression; for actually during my lesson, when his custom was to eschew a conventionalism even as a wrong note, he asked me what had been the matter with her. I told him

it held me day by day more firmly. I longed almost with suffering