Between Death and Desire

and close enough to his that I can hear

of an antechamber off his own room. They could not decide if I am a servant or a pri

forth. Some nights it doe

ing me a change of clothes because apparently that is my life

"Not since-" She stops

ce w

." She will not meet my

Elara drowned in the Silver Vein. I do not need Nyra to finish

-

language nobody has taught you properly-ba

nless he is asking me something

enough," he as

my l

you

my l

that bruise

door caught me. I was not paying a

tell him. "I

is jaw tightens. "

I was not looking

that door

le? I do not under

have it

e d

es

hey are everywhere. You c

those silver eyes that seem to see ev

ys. "Then be

Alpha say to an Omega. It almost sounds like

-

like the sound of wa

ter rushes and splashes against the pitcher's edge. He flinches. A full-body flinch,

ord?"

does not look up. "P

s a full basin down the hall. I watch how he refuses to stand near the fountain in the east c

emembers exactly how I died

e years dead and furious about it-wants to feel sat

feels like something cracking open in

-

the journal, it

ds, drilling until his knuckles bleed, like always. A leather book slides

ied nearly to dust. Its p

oms at night. The kind that grows beh

pick it up, exactly wh

ngers. I open the journal to see where it had been pressed. I know I should no

n it

e years back. Just a f

nd jagged to belong to a calm man. I am sorry. I

o the page again and again across nights I cannot count. Just to writ

ack where I found it, flower and all. My heart slam

ooks at me standing t

g wrong?"

omes out steadier than I

e he can smell the lie on me. He p

w instead. Stares out at the dark l

s with hands that will

else called me a poisoner and a traitor. He never onc

-

e wolf who has apparently

eyes that look at me like I am a puzzle he has

third time I catch him lurking near the

does not even try to sound

way. Every morning. At the e

ncid

a terri

f his mouth. Not quite a smile. More like the

yes on you," he sa

y m

way of holding yourself. New way of looking at people like you are deciding whether they are worth the troubl

dead taught me that much at least-how to keep a

ad," I say.

tell by the way he says it. Flat. Unim

e hallway feeling like he has peeled back a lay

-

asses. T

nd he asks me the same questions. Are you warm enough. Did you eat.

, he does

g to nothing. It feels wrong. Off. Like a

. But my feet carry me to the door between

athing. Sl

hear

ar

art s

in. Louder this ti

t all: Please. Please come back. I am

old stone. Tears I did not know

me. He is begging

ide of a door. Close enough to touc

t brave

cot. I lie down.

he wall, and I hate the Moon for making m

y after e

-

ing, I bring

ep well, my

under his eyes. His hair is messier than usual, lik

" he

dre

to my face. S

do yo

casual. Rue would not know about his night

hem," I say. "I

hought

ould close my mouth

o n

emed tired," I sa

long time. Then he

something

my l

am-what do yo

muscle in my b

want to kn

nings. I hear you through the wall." His vo

not b

like it hurts him. "W

see something real. Just

someone's face above me. Getting smaller

ce goe

sks. "Who i

like poison. I want to sa

to say. It i

o not know. I can n

t seems to cost more than

wet. I have never seen an Alpha

says. "You cannot see the fa

my l

alks to the window. He stands with h

" he

my l

es. His shoulders rise and fall with a breath that sounds like it hur

g. I cannot

e says. "I ne

ll the way back to my room

supposed to want him. I came back for

dreamed

d me to

n hate a man who has been drowning