Pregnant after my ex-husband called me barren

uro

t I remained standing beneath the showerhead,

wrong with

I couldn't explain it. It wasn't fear, and it wasn't pain. The thought of what hap

epping in front of the mirror. My reflection stared back tired eyes,

I whispered to myself. "Yo

d to bel

T-shirts, I padded barefoot into the dining room. My lap

d myself I'd

elf sitting down and

bits di

arefully, making notes

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ing was

lab values

gh the folder twi

ft the results a

ht, I picked up my pho

ed almost i

she teased. "You lasted less tha

gh esc

ow me to

were taking th

I

eal

home. That's prac

ica s

tend I bel

smi

n's latest bl

ang

kground while voices echoed

w seconds s

und

ned th

ahe

each value w

hed, I let out

ursor toward t

ssica sp

ait

Hm

were supposed to

back in

hifts with yo

an wit

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t out a

ess

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ound...

unny thou

gh came throug

o you me

rs stoppe

at i

len

to make my st

ly she

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l me

to think I'm trying

ess

her p

ing coffee, I passed the ba

Blue L

Ye

t abo

h someone so I th

Oh

nhaled

uld be

a sec

around me se

hear

brea

t ticking of

bli

Wh

seconds," Jessica said quic

ut a sha

bly made

gan to set

d me he would

ldn't l

I whi

wasn'

ed relieved to

what I fi

if it really was him

smile even though s

ank

the call, I re

in front of me, but the wo

ason ch

lying

my arms ar

verthinkin

the words l

ow many times I

deep inside refus

ng wasn'

ldn't figur

nt once again after Jess

en had become a blur. No matter how hard I tried to focus

ked like

asn't

ead and close

ered. "Jessica

he dinner I'd prepared earlier that evening. The aroma of creamy gar

d at the

17

s rarely

really had k

l and tell her what I just heard I heard t

li

nt door

antly spread

aso

he entrance just as

had been rolled up to his elbows. He smelled like alcohol.Hi

mayb

trac

s I reached for his briefcas

ling back like

mply walk

a long da

n his voice cau

t to notice the smell of alcohol oozing fr

ow. I

him into the

make sure yo

m fi

swer wa

o s

I walked over and gently loos

look t

id I'm

ame out shar

lowered

ween us became p

e dinner," I said sof

not hu

s drew t

ipped lu

ould yo

n question

Wh

me at the hospital

t me harder t

I.

me we actually had din

been

No

ff before I

ve bee

ormed in

s to have a better future

t out a d

futu

rough his hair be

f this marriage is sti

at him in

you talki

n empty apartment

ow my sc

w your

words

n they sh

d the lump

aso

hed imp

ired, A

t want t

e are a

r a long moment bef

s how you

eaded toward the bedroo

the middle of the livi

d dinner sat

older by t

son has never complained about my work because he knew ho

thing else b

time since we

understand m

someh

me more than I