Lawrence Clavering
rier of the Rue de Grenelle, and a travelling-carriage drew up at my side. My eyes were bent upon the ground, so t
I leave Paris as I promised Sta
you might take St. Germains on the way;" for it had reached my ears t
ade common cause with the Chevalier. They have served me; it is my turn to serve them; and I shall be better employed that way than in weaving fairy-
"there is no trouble. I was merel
he asked
o discipline the novice to a habit of obedience, were beginning to work me into a ferment of irritability; and through the months that followed, April, May, and June, the irritability increased in me to a spirit of rebellion. At times I felt a mad desire to rise in my seat and hurl defiance, and with that defiance my books, at my tutors' heads. The desi
it grew more and more urgent as the days slipped on. I should note, however, that a certain change took place in the manner in which it presented itself. I could still see, I could sti
n enrolment amongst the priests of the Jesuit order had been the aim of a fervid ambition; when the thought of that body, twenty thousand in number, spread throughout the earth, in Japan, in the Indies, in Peru, and working one and all in a consonant vigi
corner, and wander astray just as I wandered when I lost myself in the labyrinth of Blackladies. And the explanation I take to be this--for it is merely in explanation and not at all in extenuation that I put this f
med at the height from which I looked, for when I saw the horse close at hand a short while afterwards, I found reason to believe that the man had galloped. I stood watching him idly until he crossed out on to the quay; and I remember that the refectory bell rang just as he turned the corner and passed out of my sight. Towards the end of dinner, a message was brought to me that th
nger who stood apart in the window; and the stranger stepped forward hurriedly, as though he would have the telling of the news himself. He was a ma
her" and "my son" the manner of his address struck upon my ears with a very pleasant
?" s
y was se'nni
bers of a family on opposite sides the while they maintained to the world an appearance of concord, so that many a dismissed servant carried
ay you have
to continue me in the of
ant to the rector, and from the rector again to the serva
or. "Your uncle died of an
s a son,"
nswered the steward. "Blackladies comes to you, Mr. Clavering, a
sin. It is true that I had seldom seen the one, and never the other. I was conscious only of an enlarging world. But my eyes chanced at th
ladies. You will have the power and the means to help effectually, and such help we need in England;" and as I still continued silent, "If you become a priest, by the laws of your country you lose t
it for an answer, but took me by th
ther. Then what has become of him
sir. Most like h
n into my mind which--prove it true, and it was out of my power to a
to meddle in the right o
I cut him short "I ask
a second like one ca
words struck my hopes dead. My world dwindled
him," I said slowly, "for
s gleamed very br
ou, too, have th
of paper fastened with a great seal, and held it out to me. I broke the seal, and opened it. It contained a letter from Sir John's attorney at Appleby, and a copy of the will which set out very clearly that I was to possess
looked up at the stewar
at all events, a Protestant, because he is a Jacobite, in favour of m
of impatience. "I was not so deep in my ma
my fingers clung to it. "I cannot,"
ector who took the paper from me. He read i
said, and pointed his f
he clause. It was to this effect: that if I failed to observe the one condition or did not en
the last thing I would wish to do, but I cannot help it. Mr. Jervas Rookley suffers in that he
, sir," suggested the
r way?"
tate and save Mr. Jervas
d me beyond measure that I should pass these revenu
ir, because I see you s
ing forward, "I need no apolog
ackladies goes to the Crown. But," and he smiled cunningly, "it is not likely that King James, did he come to
is true. King James wo
htful owner
rvas Rookley," and then I stopped. "But meanwhile Mr. Jervas Rookle
you would not fear for him on that account;" and
ithin my mind. There was no word in the will about my politics. Sir John was acq
eward, and came of a sudden to an awkward p
on Mr. Waters the b
cashed--now, at once, and bring the money back to me. B
eward, and his face flashed to
I repeated, "an
w bow to me, and departed on his errand. I began to pace impatiently about the r
rector. "You walk, you speak, like
his hand, at the mere sight of his face, my overweening confidence burst like a bubble. For looking through my eyes he see
eme happiness, or of a soaring fortune, as worldlings choose to think, but the hour when God tries him upon His touchstone. And for that hour each man must watch if he would not fail. Indeed, it brings the test which proves--nay, makes--him man, and in God's image, too, or leaves him lower than
ithin. I saw my whole life before me, a procession of innumerable hours. Hooded and cloaked, they passed me with silent feet. I sought to distinguish between them. I chose at random from amongst them. "This," I cried, in a veritable fear--"this is the hour;" and even as I spoke, one that had passed threw back the hood and turned on me a sorrowing face. So would the hour come, and so unready should I be to ch