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Men, Women, and God

Chapter 8 A GIRL'S EARLY DAYS

Word Count: 4778    |    Released on: 06/12/2017

this subject, though I am not at all sure that I can write it. I only make the attempt because I have been urged to try, and because a

rying; and she knows it herself better than any of them. Sometimes she is irritable. Sometimes she will hear herself saying things she never meant to say, and will wonder afterwards why she did it. In society she often feels shy, awkward, and self-conscious, and then will hate herself for being like that. She may try an assumed boldness of manner to hide her shyness, and yet that plan is not a great success. She has longings for the society of others, and then having found social intercourse difficul

men are difficult things to manage. The conventions of society often seem quite senseless, and yet the polic

s. For them it is a time of adventure, romance, and vivid joy. They correspond to the common conception of the fresh, happy, charmi

about the wonderful and beautiful ways in which God has ordained that new human lives should be produced, and therefore they ought to be in a position to understand themselves. And if girls are not possessed of this knowledge I can

and desires have to be reckoned with. That is a universal experience for all of both sexes, and is just the price of entering on a larger world. Life is much more complex and mysterious than we at first imagined. It may be much more varied and splend

even to bow to authority, is to many very bitter. "I will at all costs be myself" is the natural cry of a human being at this stage, and because the world makes it difficult to carry out that resolve life has a strain in it. Yet here also there is something good. If each generation in turn did not thus demand freedom and self-expression the world would drift into senile

ot be heard saying that they would rather have been boys. No doubt one reason why girls feel this is that often their parents, and especially their mothers, have shown a preference for the boys in t

ns of their developing natures. It seems to them they are being called to a part in life which they have no wish to play. And if particul

t a woman should know the blunt facts about this hard life and this disordered world. Society often seems to expect of a woman that she should be submissive, patient, and merely gentle. And of course nature has ordained that many women should be strong, stimulating,

w all that women are meant to be and are capable of doing for the world. And that being so I can see that the difficulties which lie about the path of life for women to-day are peculiarly trying. It may be a real privilege to be a woman during this particular period of discovery and experiment. But it cannot but be also rather a strain. The one thing

ithout any relation to the other sex. Being without any conscious desire for the companionship of man, and without any definite sex consciousness, they resent the idea that woman is not

in a world apart from sex difference. But I believe it to be a serious mistake for either man or woman to imagine that they have no clamant sex instinct hidden within the depths of their personalities. And if the instinct is there it can only be folly to try to obscure the fact. It has to be reckoned with if life is to succeed. In many women it only awakens after early youth is past. The exceptions in whom it never awakens must be very few indeed. If the attempt has been made to ignore it th

till she seems the center of life and adorable beyond words. A very real danger lurks here, and yet I would like to speak with great care about the matter, because a true friendsh

very common, and so far from being harmful they may serve a very useful purpose. They generally pass

pe of relationship. It is unhealthy because, to begin with, in this way girls let themselves go and allow their emotions to run away with them; and that just at a time when it is most important that they should have themselves in firm control. And further, when members of the same sex employ lovers' language, and indulge in the imitation of lovers' endearments, there is

f talk going on which assumes that some people are of the homosexual type, and that it is natural and right for them to express themselves in this way. As a matter of fact homosexuality is always a sexual perversion and is fraught with great danger of nervous disorder. Dr. Crichton Miller says in The New

hey are to be dealt with in actual life. One thing worth saying is-Be warned in time, and do not let them grow. When they threaten they can be turned into true friendships by girls who understand, and true friendship is always a bracing and strengthening thing. But I would not for a moment suggest that a "G. P." should be ruthlessly broken. That would often be a cruel thing to do which might cause great and even permanent damage to a sensitive nature. But if both who are involved in the matter will face the truth about it, they may succeed in passing on into a natural and healthy friendship which may be invaluable to both and a gain to society. If it be asked wherein lies the essential difference between a G. P. and a friendship I think answer has been given in the words: "Friendship is an other-regarding emotion and proves itself to be an uplifting force, while a G. P. is self-regarding, and consequently gen

ttachment. I can almost hear one such saying, "Of course I see that these things ought to be said, and that some girls are very si

You may drift along, always postponing any definite action, and just enjoying the present while it lasts. But that is exactly the way in which calamity is allowed to enter people's lives. And you and she, or you and he, might forthwith face the unalterable facts I have been referring to, and take all danger by the throat and throttle it. You might do that now. That is to say, you and your dear friend might agree that you will at once get the passionate element out of your relationship, and forego

but like other luxuries it enervates. Reveling in their own emotions is a favorite hobby with quite a lot of people, but for all that it is a very bad one. There really should be no time for it. Our emotions are all needed as driving forces for the times of action. In particular the cultivation of a sense of beauty in art is one of the normal outlets for emotion, and even for sex emotion. S

hat they will almost certainly pass away before long, and that therefore they need not be bothered about. Lots of the most effective and sociall

t deal more than they do. It is also due to a habit of minding what other people think and say a great deal more than the facts warrant. We are not so import

on of this book is that the attraction which exists between the sexes is a right and wholesome thing, and that the way of wisdom is to accept the fact of it qu

sex, not to be fussy and foolish, and not to trade upon their sex. But that sort of relationship to men is also quite po

t down here some though

t deal of your own way if you master the art of being charming as well as beautiful; and you can in that way use your beauty to your own undoing, and make it partly a curse to others. In fact you are certain to have to face many temptations which the majority of women escape. That is the hard part of your lot. All who understand know quite well that life cannot but be more complicated for you than for most, and you have a very great claim on their sympathy. But the way to avoid your dangers is not to pretend to yourself that you are not beautiful. Pretence never helps us. The way is to face the fact of your beauty, realize that you did not create it, and therefore need not be vain about it, and then go on to decide what use you are going to make of the power it gives you. It can be used for God-otherwise He would not have given it. It can be turned into influence o

n the chapter specially addressed to men that the great help for the difficult early days of life

e also make efforts to be sincere and to love the truth. Because it is emotional, its value as an outlet for feeling is very great. It does not remain at its first emotional level. Later on there comes an inevitable change when many think, quite wrongly, that they are losing their religion. But at the stage I am thinking of religion naturally and normally expresses itself in intense feeling. We are all hero worshippers at that stage of life. Hero worshipping, however, is apt to get us into trouble, for our heroes fail us in time. The one perfect hero who never fails us is

be more worthy-to serve and love others for His sake-to know and love the truth-to fin

ter of them all there is an honest love for Christ, they cannot overwhelm us; and in

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