The Parasite

ht the subject knows what he is doing, but cannot control himself, whereas when it is strongly exerted he is absolutely unconscious. Now, I have always known what I di

g now. Oh, if I had only listened to him then, before I helped by these repeated sittings to forge the links of the chain which bin

han by any statement), his own experience was limited to some words or looks such as I have myself endured. His abandonment of Miss Penclosa is in itself a sign that he was never really in her toils. Oh, if he only knew his

art at once and travel in Persia. But would she allow me to start? And could her influence not reach me in Persia, and bring me back to within touch o

shall I overcome it? What shall I do? I must make it impossible for me to leave the room. I shall lock the door and throw the key out of

trying to read it, but really in a horrible state of trepidation, expecting every instant that I should become conscious of the impulse. Nothing of the sort occurred, however, and I awoke this morning with the feeling that a

d him to throw it up. No doubt he thought I had just dropped it. I will have doors and windows screwed u

from whom Agatha has expectations, are due home from Adelaide in the Aurora, and that they have written to Mrs. Marden and her to meet them in town. They will probably be away for a month or six we

ther. “If you should happen to meet Miss Penclosa, either in town or

opened

saying how interesting it all was, and how d

ave changed my m

n’t have it

N

on now that we did not wish to leave you when you were so pulled down. And your manner has been so strange occasionally—especially th

so, too

nerves as well. You hav

N

oming back this week, and of course Mrs. Wilson is very anxious that Miss Penclosa should be w

osa’s illness. It rather discounts the victory which I appeared to win last night. I remember that she said that loss of health interfered with her power. That may be

a name among the servants if this sort of thing goes on. But the great point is that I stayed in my room without the slightest inclination to leave it. I do believe t

such vile forces, such odious possibilities! For of course I understand that this dreadful thing which has sprung out at me is neither supernatural nor even preternatural. No, it is a natural force which this woman can use and society is ignorant of. The mere fact that it ebbs with her strength shows how entirely it is subject to physical laws. If I had time, I

er, though still weak. I find myself wishing in my heart that the illness had been her last. The other is that Professor Wilson comes back in a day or two, and his presence would act as a constr

at all. Three evenings in succession at home! I am surely near the end of my troubles, for Wilson will be home again either today or tomorrow. Shall I tell him of what I have gone through or not? I am convinced that I should not have the slightest sympathy from him. He would look upon me a

adow off my life, how happy I should be! Young, fairly wealthy, in the front rank of my profession, engaged to a beautifu

from it now. My head throbs as I rest it on my hot hand. I am quivering all over like a

hat I screamed out in my frenzy. It was all useless, hopeless. I MUST go. There was no way out of it. It was only at the outset that I resisted. The force soon became too overmastering for that. I thank goodness that there were no watchers there to interfere with me. I could not have answered for myself if there had been. And, besides the determination to get out, there came to me, also, the keenest and coolest judgment in choosing my means. I lit a candle and

the predominant alien will, which was bent upon drawing me to the side of its owner, and there was the feebler protesting personality, which I recognized as being myself, tugging feebly at t

r her eyes. She smiled at me, and pointed to a stool beside her. It was with her left hand that she pointed, and I, running eagerly forward, seized it,—I loathe myself as I think of it,—and pressed it passionately to my lips. Then, seating myself upon the stool, and still retaining her hand, I gave her the photograph which I had brought with me, and talked and talked and talked—of my love for her, of my grie

edge. Was it a coincidence that at that very instant help should come? No, no, no; there is a Providence, and its hand has drawn me b

them. Above all, the look of serene confidence had gone from her features. Her mouth had weakened. Her forehead had puckered. She was frightened and undecided. And as

ess. But I could not live longer without seeing you. You won’t leave me, Austin? This is only a passing weakness. If

this woman understand what my real feelings toward her were. My soul was filled with a hatred as bestial as the love against which it was a reaction. It was the savage, murderous passion of the

she gasped.

a palm in the window. Then I snatched the photogra

did my duty to society, you wo

stin; I love yo

les Sadler before. And ho

ou? So, Charles Sadler, Charles Sadler!” Her voic

sed your vile power to bring me to your side. You may, perhaps, do so again, but at least you will remember t

it pleases you by your tricks to draw me again to your side as you have done to-night, you will at least, I should think, have little satisfaction in try

o think that, come what may, in the future she can never misunderstand my true feelings toward her. But what will occur in the future? What will she do next? I dare

I was compelled to ask Pratt-Haldane to do my lecture for me. It is the first that I have ever miss

exposed a medium, conducted a series of experiments on thought transference, entertained Professor Richet of Paris, spent hours gazing

ooking well. And Miss Penclosa is quite pro

abandone

tut!

ms to me to be a

s big brown

t is a dangerous one? Please give your facts in chronological order, with appr

ve collected any cases where the mesmerist has gained a co

exultantly. “Crim

a sudden impulse comes from a person at

rarest condition. We have eight cases, five well attested. You

il and his note-book. My troubles may be bad to hear, but at least it is better to hug them to myself than to have myself exhibited by Wilson, like a f

e said, she will conceive the same disgust for me which I have for her. She could not, no, she COULD not, desire to have a lover who had insulted her so. No, I believe I am free from her love—but

quered the creature. But I must confess to living in some suspense. She is well again

side the very day that the term closes. I suppose it is pitiably weak of me, but this wo

troubled myself to speculate who it might be, when suddenly a slight noise brought me out of my chair with my skin creeping with apprehension. I had never particularly observed before what sort of sound the

and gazed at her. She in her turn looked silently at me, and at her look I remembered how in these very pages I had tried t

are you still of the same m

ys been of t

affections, it was you who professed your love for me, it was you who brought me your own photograph with words of affection upon it, and, finally, it was you who on the very same evening thought fit to insult me most outrageously, ad

e broke suddenly through the menace of her eyes. But then I th

as your voice which spoke, and not mine. The only words of truth which I ha

you this instant crouching like a spaniel to my feet. You will not find me again in my hour of weakness, when you can insult me with impunity.

shoulders an

ovel on the ground before me, proud as you are, and you will curse the day that ever you turned me from your best friend into your most bitter enemy. Have a care, Professor Gilroy!” I saw a whi

hall I do? I am no longer master of my own soul. At any moment this loathsome parasite may creep into me, and then—— I must tell some one my hideous secret—I must tell it or go mad. If I had some one to sympathize and advise! Wilson is out of the question. Charles