The Petty Troubles of Married Life, Complete

ong time and trying to get rid of a hanger-on who could not be made to u

dinand de Bourgarel, who was mourned of late by politics, arts and amours, and in whom is ended the great Provencal house of Borgarell

iculty in placing this letter in its proper

ear F

, doubtful by-paths. However, you knew Adolphe; you appreciated his worth. I am loved, he is a father, I idolize our children. Adolphe is kindness itself to me; I admire and love him. But, my dear, in this complete happiness lurks a thorn. The ro

r we had only one white percale gown, if the man we love did not see other women dressed differently, more elegantly than we-women who inspire ideas by their ways, by a multitude of little things which really go to make up great

Such then is the secret of that sadness which you have surprised in me and which I did not care to explain. It is one of those things in which words go too far, and where writing holds at least the thought within bounds by establishing it. The effects of a moral

t me, just at there are many pleasures in which he alone is the guest. If he were M. de Navarreins and I a d'Espard, society would never think of separating us; it would want us always together. His habits are formed; he does not suspect the humiliation which weighs upon my heart. Indeed, if he had the slightest inkling of this small sorrow which I

slights. But when? Perhaps I shall be forty-five. My beautiful youth will have passed in my chimney-corner, and with this thought: Ad

hese will finally

nger at the thought that Adolphe is dining in the city without me? I take no part in his triumphs; I do not hear the witty or profound remarks made to others! I could no lo

he ways of a human heart. The ancients were wise in having their gyneceums. The collisions between the pride of the women, caused

ck home. Still, no nature is strong enough to await always with the same ardor.

wo beings, no matter how near they may be drawn to each other. One never realizes the weight of suffering which oppresses his friend. This seems such a little thing, yet one's life is affected by it in all its le

able. Mephistopheles speaks, that terrible aide who guides the swords so dexterously. He leaves the engraving, and places himself diabolically before me, grinning through the hole which the gr

men. And you could lay all your triumphs at Adolphe's feet, show him your power and never use it. Then he would fear, where now he lives in insolent certainty. Come! To action! Inhale a few mouthfuls of disdain and you will exhale clouds of incense. Dare to reign! Are you not next to nothing he

think I see a veritable goddess crowned with white roses, and bearing a palm-branch

sweetness of angels triumphs over all pain. Faith in themselves has enabled the martyrs to obtai

e than love. I almost wish to tear in pieces the woman who can go everywhere, and whose soci

ar Agnes, is a

born. You can do a great deal for me. Just think! I can write you things that

rol

, "do you know what was the nature o

N

of exc

notary understood

GS OF I

n to you which you are far from expecting: but then othe

eds to remark, that, for prudence' sake, he here allows a lady of high distinction to speak, and that he does not assume the responsibility of

tance-"

is person is neither Madame Foullepointe, nor

-natured, she sees good society, she wishes to have the best: people overlook the vivacity of her witticisms, as, under louis XIV, they overloo

with the affair, as you shall see, she, being unable to r

roline herself, not the silly little Caroline of tender y

ung woman whom she is edifying, "yo

us mix the deity up in thi

she replies, "you shoul

be married, and if she were led to count upon the intervention of the Supreme Being in this affair, she would fall into serious errors. W

ng the loveliest teeth in the world. "I am not strong enough to argue w

I shall have children,

they are, but it is extremely probable that each child w

such. The annoyance depends upon the condition of the tooth. If the baby causes the loss of a decayed tooth, you are fortunate to have a baby the more and a bad tooth the less. Don't let us confound bless

hild, I'll just show you a petty trouble that counts! Ah, it's atrocious! And I won't leave

st by a

s. In short, my dear, I loved the monster, and, even when out in society, saw no one but him. My husband had already said to me several times, 'My dear, young women never dress well; your mother liked to have you

always talking about Madame de Fischtaminel; I must really dress just like her.' I had noticed the stuff and the make of the dress, and the style of the tri

Madame de Fisch

, mad

dition: you see I have procured the stuff of which her gow

rewd smile of the dressmaker, though I saw it and afterwards accoun

depths of their webs, to see everything without seeming to look at it, to investigate the meaning and spiri

e Madame de Fischtaminel's. The price was a mere trifle, one hundred and fifty francs! It had been ordered by a gentleman who had made a present of it to Madame de Fischtaminel. All my savings were absorbed by it. Now we women of Paris are all of us very much restricted in the article of dress. There is not a man worth a hundred thousand francs a year, that loses ten t

the lady, neither tooth, nor anything whatever of the things

hort, this phoenix of women was my model. I studied and copied her, I took immense pains not to be myself-oh!-it was a poem that no one but us women can understand! Finally, the day of my triumph dawned. My heart beat for joy, as if I were a child, as if I were what we all are at twe

by another

atter was: I replied as we always do when our hearts are wrung by these petty vexations, 'Oh, nothing!' Then he took his eye-glass, and stared at the promenaders on the Champs Elysees, for we were to go the rounds of the Champs Elysees, before taking our walk at the Tuileries.

r the neckerchief. I paid her. She bowed to my husband as if she knew him. I ran after her on pretext of getting her to receipt the bill, and said: 'You didn't ask him so much for Madame

at like Madame de Fischtaminel.' 'You refer to her neckerchief, I suppose: well, I did give it to her,-it was for her birthday. You see, w

he adds, looking at me, "but I shed tears over my youthful illusions, and I wept, too, for spite, at having been taken for a dupe. I remembered the dressmaker's smile! Ah, that smile reminded me of the smiles of a number of women, who laughed at se

t. There is not a woman who does not carry her delicacy so far as to embroider h

re giving this young la

I will tell you the se

you are buying a neckerchief and you find a petty t

etorts the woman of disti

in their time, a valley of woe. Now, at that period, the Orientals had, with the permission of the constituted authorities, a swarm of comely

VERSAL

, to consult the ceiling, to gaze at the fire, to examine Caroline's

ur vengeance would lose by being recounted by and by, and if it constituted a petty troub

y among the kitchen utensils, the accessories of my toilet, and the physicians' prescriptions; that our conjugal love had been assimilated to dinner pills, to veal soup and white mustard; that Madame de Fischtaminel possessed my husband's soul, his admiration, and

pic is

wives, the parts they give them, is not a singular vexation for us? Our petty troubles are always pregnant with greater ones. My Adolphe needed a lesson. You know the Vicomte de Lustrac, a desperate

ws of sixty, who work such wonders by the grace of their forms

as a king, but gallant and preten

whiskers, h

ties in an evening:

nd concerts, and patronizes

bustle for

mourning, he avoids you. Are you confined, he awaits your churching before he visits yo

ourage to appear to be wha

promise a woman; I spoke of the good taste exhibited in his latest waistcoats and in his canes, and he thought me a lady of extreme amiability. I thought him a chevalier of extreme youth; he called upon me; I put on a number of little airs, and pretended to be unhappy at h

d, sooner or later, every woman is enraged at finding herself respected, and divines the secret edu

Nuremberg doll, he stuck out his chin, he stuck out his chair, he stuck out his hand-in shor

N

catch and accompany my carriage to the promenade: he compromised me with the grace of a young collegian, and was considered madly in love with me. I was steadfastly cruel, but accepted his arm and his bouquets. We were talked about. I was delighted, and managed before long to be surprised by my husband, with the viscount on the sofa in my boudoir, holding my hands in his, while I listened in a sort of ex

at you, like many others, take for a b

all

vely discussion in his wife's chamber, and at an exceedingly early hour in the morning. The city desired nothing better than to laugh at its governor, and this adventure made such a sensation that Lustrac himself begged the Emperor to recall him. Napoleon desired his representatives to be men of morality, and he held that such disasters as this must inevitably take from a man's consideration. You know that among the Emperor's unhappy passions, was that of reforming his court and his government. Lustrac's request was granted, therefore, but without compensation. When he returned to Paris, he r

ine s

his weighty trouble to what is, in thi

ave made an enemy! Ah, women often pay dearly enough for the bouquets they receive and the attentions they accept. Monsie

AN OCC

ith these arguments,-a marriage, without stooping, with the Count de Fischtaminel, his having thirty thousand a year, and a home at Paris-you were strongly armed against your poor daughter. Besides, Monsieur de Fischtaminel is good looking for a man of thir

f happiness,-for the public, that is. But you will acknowledge that if you had known of the return of my Uncle

nothing to do. We are together the whole blessed day! Would you believe that it is during the night, when we are the most closely united, that I am the most alone? His sleep is my asylum, my liberty begins when he slumbers. This state of siege will yet make me sick: I am never alone. If Monsieur d

no subject of conversation; we have long since talked ourselves out. A little while ago he was so far reduced as to talk

ees me with a book, he comes and says a dozen tim

and I alleged a consideration usually conclusive with men of forty years,-his health! B

o be amused by those who call upon us, and, after five years of wedlock, no one ever comes: none visit us but those whose intention

es up to me in an excited way, and says, 'Well, what are you doing, my belle?' (the expression in fashion during the Empire) without perceiving that

ut conversation, without interest, is impossible. My husband walks with me

breakfast and dinner, there is a whole desert to plough, a waste to traverse. My husband's want of occupation does not leave me a moment of repose, he overpowers me

thinking of? What do you mean to do? Where shall we go this eve

repertory, will drive me mad. Add to these leaden arrows everlastingly shot off at me, one la

robity, and a proper subordination, his ignorance is gross, he knows absolutely nothing, and he has a horror of learning anything. Oh, dear mother, what an accomplished door-keeper this colonel would have made, had he been born in indigence! I don't think a bit the b

with: my husband harasses the servants to such

. During the winter, I shall go every evening to the Italian or the French opera, or to parties: but I don't know whether our fo

daughter who loves you as much as she deplores her misfortunes, and w

FISCHT

ou acquainted with a character whom you saw only in profile in the first half of this book, the queen of the particular set in which Caroline lived,-a woman both

SCRE

mply proud. They are therefore all su

er-dealers brand their logs while floating down stream, or as the Berry stock-raisers brand their sheep. They bestow names of endearment, right before people, upon their wives: names taken, after the Roman fashion (columbella), from th

ir wives:-Bobonne,-mother,-daughter,-good wom

btful propriety, such as: Mon

, a man extremely remarkable for his

strike me," said this unf

ad gone: "when she is in company with her husband she is upon pins and needles, and keeps out of

de, public little taps on her shoulder, he would startle her by a resounding kiss, he dishonored her by a conspicuous tenderness, seasoned by those impertinent attentions the secret of which belongs to the French savages who dwell in the depths of the provinc

n said to

l offences, is certainly going rather far; but then

ally known. Heaven grant, therefore, that our book may have an immense success, as women will

ndiscreet sayings and doings. There are some women that seek them, f

lies in an ac

with it, and saw nothing ridiculous in it: she called her husband, "Mon fiston!" T

happy pair that the aut

arried to an affectionate and intellectual woman, or, by a chance which is n

elf-love by arsenic, proves that, properly speaking,

by sentiment where m

ife and the world, by inflicting upon her husband the vexations of her stupidity (re-read REVELATIONS), Adolphe, like any other man, may find a compensation in social

haracter of the individuals, with times

orn disgusting. It is so disgraceful for a women to be anything more than just simply a wife to this sort of Adolphe, that a certain Caroline had long ago insisted upon the suppression of the modern thee and thou and all other i

to his wife: "Caroline, hand me the tongs, there's a love." I

his little scene with all the spirit at his command, and Madame de Fischtaminel put on an

ine's confusion,-you h

ent was lately placed: she was conversing agreeably at her country seat near Paris, w

well,

known that the husband had been at Paris since Monday,

ng important to s

ngal rose to the brilliant crimson of the wheatfield poppy. She nodded and went on with the conversation, and managed to leave her company on the pretext of learning wh

ivinities, they love the ideal; they cannot bear

the company, put their arm round their wife's waist, take a little walk with her, appear to be tal

or a woman beyond forty, this sort of indiscretion is so delightf

be treated as mortals, they love the actual; they cannot bea

is the modesty of the woman of twenty, th

old him to guess at her age: "Madame

a Ferdinand much too conspicuous, while her

DISCL

rd uniform. She starts when a sentinel presents arms to him, she considers him moulded like a model, she regards him

years, and newly embroidered by the altered manners of the perio

make later in life, but whom she now sees for the first time, Monsieur Foullepointe, has commenced a conversation wi

ore a gentleman whose acquittal lately created such a sensation: he is all the while blundering, like an ox in a bog, against

o you

izzled like a barber's apprentice, there, he's trying n

e alarmed, "it's the husband o

delighted, madame, he's a charming man, so vivacious, gay a

suspicion in Caroline's soul, as to the question wheth

te", tired of hearing about Madame de Fischtaminel, who has ventured to write a little 32mo book on the education of the young, in which she has boldly reprinted

enacity and perfection of which would lead you to believe that they have a third sex in their head, this t

ns pale, looks away and stares at the ceiling. When Adolphe's eyes settle upon the feuilleton, she can bear

th an air that she thinks indifferent, but which

y: the tale is insignificant enough to drive an insect to despair, i

es again. "It's

the editor is personally interested. Such a piece of stupidity cannot be explained any other way. Imagine, Caroline, that it's all about a little flower picked on the edge of a wood in a sentimental walk, which a gentleman of the Werther school has sworn to keep, which he has had fram

of the tinkling of bells. She is like the woman who threw herself over the P

who, as he can't trust his wife, and as he knows she opens his letters and rummages in his drawers,

mate, who has married i

ne, the ground being blue, black or red velvet,-the color, as you see, is perfectly immaterial,-and he sli

The male devil is fairly matched by the female devil: Tophet will furnish them of all genders. Caroline has Mephistopheles on her side,

is table: she hits upon a letter to Hector instead of hitting upon one to Madam

ear H

ce between the country woman and the woman of Paris. In the country, my dear boy, you are always face to face with your wife, and, owing to the ennui which impels you, you ru

take, for your wife's sake, t

me more than to draw from people, by the aid of that gimlet called the interrogation, and to obtain, by means of an attentive air, the sum of information, anecdote

e to open their sluices while being transported by diligence or 'bus,

iversion. He could neither read nor write: he was entirely illiterate. Yet the journey seemed short. The corporal had be

y to a question relative to the infantry, whose courage is much more tried by ma

ey needed them), I had a way of telling beforehand which of them would remain in the 45th. They marched without hurrying, they did their little six leagues a day, neither more nor

hile he thought he was talking of war, and you

to induce him to marry one of the prettiest girls in France! 'Why,' said she to herself, 'he will have to marry her every day

ded, like that of nations, upon ignorance.

principle so strongly insisted upon in the Physiology of Marriage. I have resolved to lead my

t appearance at Paris, went to singing with all the voice his lungs would yield, instead of imitating Nou

e same time wondering how she would make her dear Adolphe expiate h

TR

ifferent ways enough in the existence of married women, f

d asserts that she loves him too much, even: but this is a piece of marital conceit, if,

rdinary confession to her spiritual director, and to perform penance, the director having decided that she was in a state of mortal sin. This lady, who goes to mass every morning, is a woman of t

ho is considered worldly, on the pretext of converting her),-Madame de Fischtaminel asserts that these qua

sary to describe the tr

ately after the forty days' fast that Caroline scrupulously observes. Early in June, ther

y morn and defe

ents, which had now reached a state of paroxysm, told her

ent from home nearly four months, she takes much more pains with her

raid of losing the delight of her dear Adolphe's first glance, in case he arrived at early dawn. Her chambermaid-who respectfully left her mistress alone in the dressing-room where

iture rattle, Caroline assumed a mild tone to

m waiting for him here." Caroline trembl

was a butc

umed, for she was engaged in dressing. The chambermaid's nose had already been the recipient of a superb muslin chemise, with a sim

ne? I told you to choose from th

st be a queen, a young queen, to have a dozen. Each one of Caroline's was trimmed with valenciennes round the bottom, and still more coquettishly garnished about t

the most elegant form. It is unnecessary to speak of her morning gown. A pious lady who lives at Paris and who loves her husband, knows as well as a coquette how to choose those pretty little striped patte

ass, went by in these preparations, which, for women

y bad weather, a person ought not to appear haughty in the place where it is becoming to be humble. Caroline was afraid

all lose the pleasure of his first glance:

worldly consideration. Prefer the creature to the Creator! A husband to heave

sor, "society is founded upon marriage, which

though legitimate love. Madame refused breakfast, and ordered the meal to be kept hot,

o reserved, so worthy, as this lady, these acknowledgments of affection went beyond the limits imposed upon her feelings by the lofty self-respect which true piety induces. When Madame de Fischtaminel narrated this

to the cook, "what will become of us? She

traveling carriage, the racket made by the hoofs of post-horses, and the jingling of

Will you never go to the door!" And the pious

he vivacity of a servant doing her

ashamed, to herself, "I will never let

ner hour, he waited patiently five minutes: at the tenth minute, he felt a desire to throw the napkin in his face: at the twelfth he hoped s

love and who have met again after an absence ten thousand times accursed, be good enough to recall their first glance: it says so many things that the lovers, if in the presence of a third party, are fain to lower their eyes! This poem, in which every man is as great a

d not think of religion once during the hours of mass, nor during those of vespers. She was not comfortable when she sat, and she was very uncomfortable when she stood: Justi

ss sup with my h

t's several stabs with a dirk. So she spoke in a tone that was really terrible. At three in the morning Caroline

from her eyes; she rushed to the spare room without the slightest preparatory toilet; a hideous attendant, posted on the threshold, informed her that

out being able to wake the only husband that heaven had given he

days, Justine remarked, in reply to an unjus

your husband

k to Paris," returne

ESS

shions, who does her best to keep house sumptuously and yet economically-a house, too, not easy to manage-who, from morality and dire necessity, perhaps, loves no one but her husband, who has no other study but the hap

d husband by chance remarked at his friend Monsieur de Fisch

han that of seeing the beloved one absorbing his favorite viands. This springs from the fundamental idea upon which the affection of women is based: that of being

ells her that at Biffi's, in the rue de Richelieu, she will not only learn how the Italians dress mushrooms, but that she will be able

m Biffi's, and exhibits to the countess a quant

, "did he explain to

hem's a mere nothing

rything, in the cooking way, exce

ure at observing the servant bringing to the table a certain suggestive dish.

e elect-and everybody will include a woman who adores her husband among the elect-there is, betwee

without perceiving Caroline's extreme emotion, to several of those soft, fat, round things, that tra

, Ado

l, d

u recogni

gnize

rooms a l'

ught they were-well, ye

a l'Italie

rved mushrooms, a la mila

is it you l

trifo

a Silbermanus is the same individual in all countries for the learned men who dissect a butterfly's legs with pincers-that we still want a nomenclature for the chemistry of the kitchen, to enable all the cooks in the world to produce precisely similar

dish in question is called Mushrooms a l'Italienne, a la provencale, a la bordelaise. The mushrooms are min

is to a child of eight. Ab uno disce omnes: which means, "There's one of them: find the rest in your memory." For we h

WITHOU

sonage no more exists than does a rich dowry. A woman's confidence glows perhaps fo

any marshy country, love is a pretext for suffering, an employment

g her happiness, for we must do her the justice to say that her first idea is to enjoy it. All who possess

so common, that the heaven-blessed man who posse

s never deserted

rt of hearts of every woman. Hen

or, of all wives or women, nowadays, the legitimate is the least expensive. Now, every woman who is loved, has gone through the petty an

e leaves her rather too often upon a matter of business, th

its Chaumontel's affair. (S

a beloved creature absents himself, though she has rendered him even too happy, every woman straightway imagines that he has hurried away to some easy c

my husband doing? Why has he left

government, every one of them; they resort to espionage. What the State has invented in the public interest, they consider legal, legitimate and permissible, in the interest of their love. This fatal woman's curiosity reduces them to the necessity of having agents, and the agent of any woman who, in this situation, has not lost her self-respect,-a situation in which her jealousy will not permit her to respect anything: neither your little boxes, nor your

alousy, a woman makes no calculations, takes no obse

ars and her suspicions, with terrible friendship. Justine and Caroline hold councils and have secret interviews. All espionage

bserves, "monsieur really d

ne tur

armed, madame, i

men no women are old:

a lady, it's a woman,

d a fish-wife at Venice, Mada

ne bursts

n pumping

Benoit's

-between, for monsieur keeps his secr

of the damned; all her savings go t

ful follies, a nice little boy that looks very much like him, and that this woman is his nurse, the second-hand mother who has charge of little Frederick, wh

mother?" excl

grisette and somewhat later Madame Sainte-Suzanne, died at the hospital, or else that she has made her fo

e a boy. This little drama of unjust suspicions, this comedy of the conjectures to which Mother Mahuchet gives rise, these phases of a ca

following its ascent or descent, recalling their own adventures to mind, their untold disasters, the foibles which caused their errors, and the peculiar fatalit

n without remedy, especially when its root lies among vices of another kind, and which

MESTIC

phe one day to his wife, "are

ear, qu

e speaks to you rat

d notice a maid? But i

he in an indignant way that i

ting: she is as brown as opium, has a good deal of leg and not much body, gummy eyes, and a tournure to match. She would like to have Benoit marry

istress. Justine sometimes goes out without asking leave, dressed like the wife of a second-class banker. She sports a pi

t married. She has her whims, her fits of melancholy, her caprices. She even dares to have her nerves! She replies curt

ys Adolphe one morning to his wife, on noticing Justine listen

bliged to give Justine a talkin

ve high wages, here, you have perquisites, presents: try t

tached to madame! Ah! she would rush into the fire for her: she woul

eal, madame, I would take it

says Caroline, terrified: "but that's not

ts to send me away, does he? Wait and see the de

glass to make sure that Caroline can see all the grimaces of her counten

madame, but then, madame, yo

o on, wh

me the door: he has confidence in nobody but

at prove? Has anyth

re plotting something against you mad

ecome as indispensable to her mistress as spies are to the government when a conspiracy is discovered. Still, Caroline's friends do not underst

aminel's, and the company consider it funny. A few ladies think they can see

n put cloaks on every kind o

mnia is executed precisely a

Caroline cannot d

his enigma. Madame de Fischtaminel makes fun of Adolphe who goes

serves to her husband, that it would be awkward to turn a girl in Justine's condition into the st

s soon as she is w

comes to desire to get rid of her: she applies a violent remedy to the disease, and

AV

sband wonders what may be the cause of this development of affection, and

at the internal agitation b

not to

el

be vexed

r. Go

nd never say any

l me wha

re the one that

or I'll

n get me out of the scrape-and

e, c

s ab

bo

t Jus

d. I won't see her again, her style

le say-what ha

y explanation which makes Caroline blush, as she see

you I owe all this. Why didn'

Great? The Ki

t to make me believe that you have forgotten y

you

chet, and your absences from home to

men can be if you try!" excl

tine that f

tand the reason o

I do love you, and madly too,-if you deceived me, I would fly to the extremity of creation,-well, as I was going to

rvants, if you want them to be of use to you. It is the low

arm Caroline, he thinks of future Chaumontel's aff

r without waiting to hear her explanation. Caroline im

agnac, and goes into the apple business. Ten months after, in Adolphe's absence, Caroline receives a letter writte

ad

evry eavning, yu ar az blynde az a Batt. Your gott wott yu dizzurv, and I am Glad ovit, a

places herself once more, and of her own accord, upon the griddle of

comes another letter with an offer to furnish her with detail

is often more serious than this, as

LIAT

only because there are more ties, socially speaking, between a married woman and a man, than between the man and the wif

man; in a married woman, there is a

ty enough for four, or for fi

will, he is always as pure as snow in the eyes of her who loves him, if he truly loves her. As to a married woman, loved or not, she feels so deeply that the

in Carolines, petty troubles which, unfortun

excuses, permits, understands and commits the most of any-the case of an honest robbery, of skillfully concealed corruption in office, or of some misrepresentation that becomes

come mixed up in certain unlawful doings which may bring a man to the necessity of testifying before t

the most sacred of duties, even by the most respectable houses: the thing is to

her the Code, he examines her dress, he equips her as a brig sent on a voyage, and despatches her to the office of some judge, or some syndic. The judge is apparently a man

w more matters like this, and he will be quite disgraced. Have you any children? Excuse my asking

s,

s for the woman, but now I pity you doubly, I think of the mother

ke an interest i

sidewise at Caroline. "What you ask of me is a derelic

, only b

request, fair creature?" At this point the

o herself that this is not the time to play the prude. She abandons her hand, making j

a woman to shed tears; we'll see about it. You shall come to-morrow evening and te

ir

ndispen

t,

to know how to grant what is due to justice an

t,

l try to reduce this great crime down to a peccadillo." And he goes to the d

ng, and he smiles as he takes her round the waist with an agility which leaves Caroline no time to r

f the syndic himself, and again pronounces the "

el, and your husband is a monster: for what does he mean by s

is in bed, very sick, and you threatened him

ot a lawyer,

his remark which reveals A

uld have pity upon the mother

ience, you want me to give the creditors up to you: well, I'll do more, I give you up m

to raise the syndic who has thrown

getting out of a delicate situation as women know how to

she says smiling, "wh

we know several things about him that are not by any means honorable. It is not his first departure from rectitude; he has done a good many dirty things, he

e words, lets go the door

she exclaims, furious at

this a

ntel's

uses that he had built by p

he to double his income: (See The Jesuitism of Women)

is distance, I will behave w

Tillet, therefore, compromised. What an ear, too! You have been doubtless told that you had a delicious ear-And du Tillet was right, for judgment had already been given-I love small ears, bu

were we

while admiring you

he makes him a polite speech, and goes away without learning much more of the e

ge variations of

of people; in this crowd are several ill-mannered young men who indulge in jokes of doubtful propriet

ng to the genus Terrible, exclai

d you let Ju

ainly

little man?" inquire

er a big slap, and he's eve

ded to pay court to her, is cruelly joked by her,

AST Q

eat, noble and charming passion, the only true symptom of love, if it is not even its double. When a woman is no longer jealous of her hu

husband, the Minotaur has seated himself in a c

re often still on some occasion of a brutal fact or of a decisive proof. This cruel farewell to faith, to the chi

search out all the varieties of qu

montel's affair, hides a robe of infinitely softer stuff, of an agreeable, silk

, may have attracted her by its whiteness, like a ray of the sun entering a dark room through a crack in the window: or else, while taking Adolphe in her arms and feeling his pocket,

oz I no About Hipolite. Kum, an

t

ade me wait for you: wh

t

en you are not with them: take care, for the hatred which exists during you

t

on your arm? If it was your wife, accept my compliments of condolence upon her absent charms: s

s woman in middle life, and the actress, among whom Adolphe has

the ladies of honor to Queen Pomare in his arms; or else, again, Adolphe has for the seventh time, made a mistake in the name, and called his wife Juliet

NG TO CHAUMON

Tables

phe to

oie Gras deliv

e 6th of Janu

of assorted

breakfast deliv

th of Februar

ed price

__

Francs,

gnated the sixth of January as the day fixed for a meeting at which the creditors in Chaumontel's affair were to receive the sums due

all the chances of discovery wou

doubts, and agonies of heart, she made up her mind to have a final quarrel for the simple purpose of finishi

ticipated their husbands, and they then ha

o a burst of passion and

h appalls the most intrepid husbands. Those who

lled "Ma berline," that their Adolphe must be loved by the women of France, tha

re of falsehood and contradiction: they question him (see Troubles within Troubles), like a magistrate examining a criminal, reserving the spiteful enjoyment of crushing his den

st), is always terminated by a solemn, sacred promise, made by scrupulous, noble, or simply

ou have deceived me, and I shall never forget i

able only to render their forgivenes

, let us live like two comrades, two brothers, I do not wish to make your l

lish style. Adolphe thanks Caroline, and catches a glimpse of bliss: he

p laughing at it) to Chaumontel's affair. In society she makes general rema

ound Chaumontel's bill in your pocket:" or "it happened since our last quarrel:" or, "it was the day when, for the first time, I

ch other no longer: it's then that we learn how to

r comes to an end, and from thi

ng with your lawful wife, is solvi

NAL F

s into a pincushion, and the devil himself,-do you mind?-could not get them out: they reserve to

from Madame Foullepointe's in a vi

on to certain rather meagre ideas relative to our present society: you must use it, if you want to describe a woman who i

are in the season which we have denominated A Household Re

ys, "do you want

cour

you r

t is reasonable

at's a true hus

what

arn to ride o

possible thi

the window, and tries

ol; and I cannot go with you while business gives me the annoyance it do

, the introduction of a groom and of a servant's horse into the

ell, few men have ventured to descend into that small abyss called the

e. "I am your wife: you don't seem to care to please me any mor

ords, My dear, as the Italians have to say Amico. I have cou

s much as the price of a horse. I shall be walled up here at home, and that's all you want. I asked the

Caro

eason? Can't I go with Madame de Fischtaminel? Madame de Fischtaminel is learning to

Caro

onfidence in his wife, than you have in yours. He does not go with her, not he! Perhaps it's on account of this

begins when they are still half way from home, and has no sea to em

rcise pointed out by nature herself, I should not be in want of reasons, and that I know a

fact that it is vigorously delivered, embellished with a commentary of gestures, ornamented

largely increase. Madame pouts, and she pouts so fiercely, that Adolphe is forced to notice it, on pain of very disagreeable consequences, for all is

t has struck in i

oirs. Women could not well have Virgil's willows in the economy of our modern

e is already played. Then comes the act of false coquetry:

the man thus engaged, divests himself of his strength as well as of his

nd his suspenders off, are no longer those of a man

xiom in wedded life. In morals, it

moment when she can distance her adversary. She makes he

ble: "Grace pour toi! Grace pour moi!" which leave jockeys and horse trainers whole miles behind. As usual, the Diable succumbs. It is the eternal history, the grand Christian mystery of the brui

of them favorable to peace. Adolphe, precisely like children in the presenc

extreme disorder. Adolphe, in his dressing gown, tries to go out furtively and

r, and makes inquiries about breakfast. An hour afterwar

mons

is in the li

g up to Adolphe, and talking the babyis

for,

little Liline r

ing such terminations as lala, nana, coachy-poachy, just as mothers and nurses use them to babies. This is one of the secret reasons, discussed and recognized in big quartos by the Germans, which determined t

t idea, my sweet? You

ha

rely gazes at Adolphe. Under the satanic fires of their gaze, Adolphe turns half way round toward the dining-room; but he asks himself whether it would not be

as an actress who reckons upo

etchedly thin house, or to obtain not the slightest applause.

a thousand ways in married life, when the honey-moo

st delicate and subtle observations,-from the nature of the subject at least,-it seems to him necessary to illustrate this page by an incident

f Marriage, Meditation XXVI, Paragraph Nerves.) She had been lying about on the sofas for two months, getting up at noon, taking no part in the amusements of the city. She would no

d like (desiderata) a carriage of her own, horses of her own-her husband would not give her an equipa

meats produced a sudden nausea. She drank innu

to give her the pallor of a corpse, machinery, and the like, precisely as when the manager of a theatr

to Ems, to Hombourg, to Carlsbad, would hardly cure the invalid: but madame w

out, and wo

f great sagacity, admitted

unreasonable: he can not, he ought not, have a carriage yet

. Finally, during the third month, he met one of his school friends, a lieutenant in the corps of physician

young doctor," said

nchon to visit his wife and tell

hysician," said Adolphe that evening to his w

on, which, if not ironical, are extremely incredulous, to play involuntarily upon his lips, and his lips are quite in sympathy with his eyes. He prescribes some insignificant remedy, and insis

your wife, my boy," he says: "she

I thoug

am too sincerely your friend to enter into such a speculation, for I am d

wants a c

Hearse, this Carolin

ming woman is continually throwing into it: and for the sake of a quiet life, he has been obliged to co

TNUTS IN

gination, upon the strength of the nerves. If it is impossible to catch these so variable shades, we may at least point out the most striking colors, and the

appy age of forty, the period when they are delivered from scandal, calumny, suspicion, when their liberty begins: these women wi

ed how to induce Adolphe to go out unexpectedly, an

ime, ladies like Madame de Fischtami

etween the two, Caroline and Madame de Fischtaminel invent occupations for dear Adolphe, when neither of them desire the presence of that demigod among their penates. Madame de Fischtaminel and Caroline, who have become

following little note t

est A

ride with him at five: but if you are desirous of taking him to ride yourself, do so and I w

acious! So I shall have that fellow on my h

tive request when they see it; but another w

adore them, those who do not feel a constant jubilation at seeing them laying their plots while braiding their hair, creating special idioms for the

Maur with Adolphe, to look at a piece of property for sale there. Adolphe would go to breakfast with her. She aids Adolphe

, you old Don Juan: but you won't have any further need of Chaumontel's affair; I'm no longer jealous, y

and to come to breakfast with her, equips herself in a costume which, in that charming eighteenth centur

he table is set with positively diabolic coquetry. There is the white damask cloth, the l

er's. The succulent dishes, the pate de foie gras, the whole of this elegant entertainment, would have made the author of the Glutton's

ff the yellow leaves of the plants in the windows. A woman, in these cases, disguises what we may call the prancings of the heart, by those meaningless occup

ouncement by Justine: "

life slip by as she unfolds it! Women know this by experience! As to men

nd is ill!" exclaims Carol

down stairs, A

es Justine. "I guess she w

Caroline, on seeing Adolphe standing in

guesses what it all means, as he sees the cloth inscribed with the delightful ideas which Madame de Fis

xpecting?" he a

except Ferdinand?"

keeping y

ick, poo

ead, and he replies, winking with o

he

Cafe de Paris, wi

?" says Caroline, trying to

of Charles, you said, has been with

has happened very appropriately

weeps internally: but she very soon asks, in a tone of voice t

some breakfast or other, the result of a bet made at M'lle Malaga's." He looks slyly at Caroline, who drops her eyes to conceal her tears. "How beautiful you have

dea of punishing Ferdinand. Adolphe, who claims to be as hungry as two be

ut two o'clock, while Adolphe is asleep on a sofa. That Iris of bachelors come

uppose," says Ca

duel this mor

ushes to Ferdinand, wishing Ad

s, which are quite as adroit as their own, they are

MA R

ss this work is beginning to tire you quite a

of Marriage what Fact is to Theory, or History to Philosophy,

the book-a book filled with serious pleasantry-Adolphe has reached, as you

ldren, to pet and adore them: for if literature is the reflection of manners, we must admit that our manners recognize the defects pointed out by th

by this profound word: indulgence. He is indulgent with Caroline, he sees in her

his advantageous indulgence: but she does not give her dear Adolphe up. It is woman's nature never to yield any o

we will relate an anecdote, not ten years

. This dignitary, extremely old at the time, was on one side of the fireplace, and Caroline on the other. Caroline was hard upon the lustrum

y's head ache to such a degree, that he tried to console her. In the midst of his condolences, the

ies of the state, but a friend of Louis XV

e and that of Caroline, consists in this: though he no long

hey say," the theme of the co

H IS EXPLAINED LA F

ticed the musical abuse of the word felicita, so lavishly used by the librettist an

e. We quit it just whe

l, in every condition in life, as in an Italian opera, there comes a time when the joke is over, when the trick is done, when people must make up their minds to one thing or the other, when everybody is singing his own felicita for himself. After having gone through with all the duos, the solos, the stretti, the codas, the concerted pieces, the duettos, the n

, I am the happiest woman in the world. Adolphe is the model of h

n the most elegant fashion: he has a crush hat, kid gloves, something very choice in the way of a waistcoat, the very best style

y to have a wife like you!

ty troubles, causeless jealousies, cross-purposes, and all sorts of little botherations. What is the good of all this? We women have but a short life, at the best. How much? Ten good years! Why should we fill them with vexation? I was like you. But, one fine morning, I made the acquaintance of Madame de Fischtaminel, a charming w

e the best cousi

very much affected. Sh

y, honor, virtue, social order. We can't have our life over again, so we must cram it full of pleasure. Not the smallest bitter word has been exchanged between Caroline and me for two years past. I have, in Caroline, a friend to whom I can tell everything, and who would be amply able to console me in a great emergency. There is not the slightest deceit between us, and we know perfectly well what the state of things is. We have thus changed our duties into pleasures. We are often happier, thus, than in that insipid season called the honey-moon. She says to me, s

ing a ball. Madame Caro

Yes, she is very pr

DREN. Ah! she learned earl

er husband exceedingly. Besides, Adolphe is

He adores his wife. There's no fuss at

NTE. Yes, it's a v

OF SCANDAL. Caroline is kind and oblig

er a dance. Don't you remember how tires

r husband were two bundles of briars-c

idual known as Deschars is getti

n is taking, as her daughter can hear. Madam

oyment. Monsieur Adolphe appea

dinand is! [Her mother reproves her by a sharp

hould not speak so, my dear, of any one but her bet

equally low, in a whisper. The fact is, my dear, the moral of a

s so imprudent as to consult

R. Do you

eciating social life, on the pretext of enlightening us! Why, there are co

the marrying class of the popula

taken merely as the point

ethod of passing tru

opinion. Such truths as are de

s there that does not pass off, or become passe? When your

cruelly for your inability to w