The Adventures of a Modest Man
ld man!"
it flattered me; at thirty, it was all right; at forty
feel that way," he
last a German phrase. I am
e got ahead of my story, partly, perhaps,
visit abroad, after twenty years, was due to a pig. So n
show; why, I don't know, except that my neighbo
t club and the traditions of a by-gone generation
recently. So was the pig. You see, I can never get away from that pig, although-but the p
modified by Louis XVI and traces of Bavarian baroque. And his sq
ght him. My men built him a chaste bower
contemplate him while m
n saluted me so suspiciously at the cou
d down to our morning
e in nowise remarkable. Why the d
do I
suggested that I bu
hether yo
u think me weak-minded enough
he said calmly, pushing the kin
at?" I
dn't really
the
act
took a pawn with sat
y do you suppose I
nn
buy pigs to esc
rut; you're gone stale. Year in, year out, you do the same things in the same way, rise at the same time, retire at the same hour, see the
an to say
n a Long Island community could escape it. What you need i
oided Paris," I said, restlessl
been there in
N
hy
to avoid meeting the
tinue to take root in Long Island." He announced mate in two moves. After I h
at you've already gone too stal
ntimacy scarcel
no longer competent to look after my own affairs,
. "Suppose somebody stole
coul
did, under y
ard, due to any negligence or stupidity of mine, I'll adm
r a jolly little jaunt if anything
do you want me
od, intell
I got
at pig away from me, I'll do anything
or me to translate. It's a foolish way to talk a foreign l
y. It's a phrase one can use in reply to any remark
sked me for a job. Instantly it occurred to me to hire him as night watchman for the pig. He had excellent references, and his countenance
"will hold Van Di
e in years-not since I was a freshman at Harvard: I sat up with my pipe and an unexpurged
ody was tapping at the front door. I put on a dressing-gown and slippe
, raised it gently and looked out.
ess I'll have to ask for help. I'm on my way to marke
ispered; "I'
ng an empty crate. Near it moved the farmer, and just beyond his outstretched hands sported a playful pig. He was a black pig. Mine was white. Bes
the world was so utterly hopeless to pu
d sorter spread out your skirts, I'll git
farmer approached; the pi
aimed the prot
eized him and bore him, shrieking, to the wooden crate in the wagon, there depositing
warmed by brotherly love and a knowledge of my own condescension, I retired
r as I returned from the bath to submit my chin to
eheld me pursuing that midnight porker? An
sir? Why, t
tand you, Higgin
iss Alida asked me to t
I repeated
hy-our
are at him. "M
-he's gon
" I th
out o' the p
stare at Higgins. Stol
sir; and the pig he bolted. It takes a handy thief to stop and s
uffian I hired to watch t
. His hands was all over black paint, and I see h
there in front of my own house, too stupid to suspect, too stupid even to recognize my own pig in the disguised and capricious porker shying and cara
sufficient composure to sit still. And, Higgins, it is not at all necessary for you to refer to
n communication w
Alida, aged eighteen, and my daughter Dulcima, aged nineteen, th
self disposed of him"-whi
" asked Dulcim
These grape-frui
m away?" inq
s the same coffee we have be
him to?" persisted
-m
at
you know
ut
"It is a subject too
dy discusses everything in Oyster
pig!" bro
to whom you
eading mildness, "how woul
pap
ou, Du
ing p
" crie
replied with
hey cried in rapture
both that if either of you ever again ask me one question concerning that pig-nay, if you so much
reat Cunard Line, with my daughter Dulcima on one side and my daughter Alida on the other side of me, and my ol
on voyage!" he
tesse," I muttere
reply to make, p
age is to know when to use its idioms." They both looked
s the towering black sides of the st
nd answered: "à bien-t?t? C'est la mort, jusqu
hman when you talk French," I observed to Alida.
dmitted, with
here was a mischievous
"Van Dieman is fo
d the distant pier which we had left. It was still black with people, moving like ants. And, as I looke
d a tear in one of her brown eyes. "There
below; in a few more minutes the remainder of the passengers went below; and I was on
running down a toboggan slide, taking little timorous steps. Then the deck flew up and caught the
in it. There's nothing in anything," I muttered faintly. And I was