The Blue Wall

ur own opinion of my narrative must run. I freely admit, as I then was forced to admit, that my lovemaking had been attended with many bizarre and abnormal happeni

e my natural dread of disclosing the intimate affairs of my life has kept me heretofore from sharing my story with any one, and now that I have lifted the cover and drawn the veil of my experience, I can only find justification, in so narrating the se

some reason which I could never understand, were replaced by an old negro who serv

in a voice which seemed to be adapted to a general address to the three or fo

has been a lady waitin' foh you, sah, mos' all de ahfternoon. She c

napped. "It's on

spec she ain't, Mr. Estabrook, sah. She

the architect-had evidently dined well, preparing f

es," said I, and without smil

ts about Julianna, I forgot the incident. It was therefore with some surprise that I heard Saito, my Jap, arouse me from my

a woman had dared to ask for me at my apartment in the evening caused me the greatest anxiety. As if to prove what depe

attaching importance to these fore-warnings than to tell

ell have been seen by anybody; it was only when she greeted me and turned her face toward the tiled floor, and I saw that her shoulders drooped and that her hands hung down a

as happened? Is it the Judge

ping curve of her bare neck, from the fine hair behind her e

courage, but I bent over her

the slightest indication of

"I didn't know how I was goin

" said I, in a

hought last night that I could carry it through. I t

here to tell

n her voice. "I was afraid I would

to all the conventionalities from here back to the time of the Serpent. It was spoken in a low but confident voice, with her hands upon her

ou were the one. There's nothing else that makes any difference, and it sweeps you off your feet, so it must be nature, because it gave me the courage to telephone you and then

ve you?" said

way

rev

on us, we stood there, looking at each other in awe, very much frightened and very muc

, Jerry?" she sai

," s

ow yet. I want to prepare the way. I don't want you to speak with him for a week. I will

ing for her, and I walk

s you, Juliann

He could not. And then the mischief-loving quality of woma

day," s

glance at her then, that she was a luminous being

le, her voice, her personality had not seemed a part of real life, but almost the manifestations of a spirit which, timidly and with the hope of some reincarnation in life, had come to claim my vows. I believed that I knew well enough wh

though she had felt that good sense demanded a period of reflection and a readjustment of view, so that when we did see each other again, it would be with firmer minds and s

that such happiness does not last, that ecstasies are tricks of fate by which man'

among them now, I have never yielded to the temptation to look at it again. I may have thought of it merely to add to the opinion of Jarvis that the writing was not Julianna's, the apparently indisputable fact that, at the moment the warning had been written, Julianna was, by the word of the apartment house doorman, waiting for me in the little re

senses that, were I to live to the age of pyramids, I could recall every slight sequence with accuracy. I say this because you are a physician and as such, no doubt,-and it is no different

mes I had looked out my office window and a hundred times I had seen that not one speck of cloud showed in the sky. Yet all day long, while I tried to work, only to find myself all on edge wi

ersal irritability on the part of mankind, and I have been informed by those who have traveled much that often a nervous wind of this k

ing time was short, only served to increase my impatience the more. I could not assign any cause for this other than my wish to see Julianna, for now I knew in my mind and heart, by re

more beautiful, than I had ever seen her. I remember that, with an innocent and spontaneous outburst of a

have never been so happy! But he is in there.

" I pro

le laugh. "I suppose it's because I want you to t

h the curtains into the familiar study and I heard her feet sc

s, at his feet. Above him a huge wreath of thin smoke hung in the air. Had I been a painter, I should have wished to lay that picture upon canvas, because seldom could one see expressed

behind his smile of warm greeting I fancied I could observe a haunted look, the

oul, I didn't know you would be so prompt. I have understood

hat he would have a jest at my expense,

dea that you would be successful, at least so

spirit of the

judicial mouth. "Do I understand that you and my daughter have first become enga

, for I could only stammer forth an awkward s

miled again and pointed toward the ceiling with a long forefinger. "P

at

eve her love-as I have seen it grow in these weeks-is

sent me away in the name o

s book, patted the dog, and

I shall not quickly forget that you have been

ave her?

he. "Of cour

laughed. "She told me when yo

ro

t is not all. Before

ked up at him, I saw that the gray look which I had fancied

ps years from now, perhaps never, but, if you choose, to-night-you may know what a problem

llway. No sounds came, however, except those of the dog, who whined softly in his dreams, and the complaint of the dry wind, which, instead of diminishing with night, had perhaps increased its

adjust the misshapen affairs of men and women," the Judge went on. " Never have

hen, he was silent

id I, "how

must call upon you in a manner which will severely weigh upon you. Estabrook," he

" I assured him. "Nor d

and, opening it, took out a packet of folded papers. It was evid

pression with which he gazed at me, as if I were to decide some question of life or death, infected me with his unrest.

rush of their brows. At last, when I had seated myself, he came and sat in front of

so calculated to break his heart. She was not to read my message to her unless death came and took me

liged to make, for, as you may well believe, I felt the pre

hat these pages contain is no

ged to say. "Wha

to do it," he said. "It is about Julianna. It

about her

as if I had struc

ve fought many battles to bring myself to

d for th

do so. These are strange words between men in these modern times, Estabrook. But I have guarded my honor carefully all my life. And now, though the temptation has been almost more than I could

ose," I s

as if I had str

ge. It cannot avert harm if harm must come. And more-

our proposal of choice is empty. One

About that fact I have written this message, so that when I had gone she might be prepared in

ing could change my feelings for Julianna, or shake my faith in her, that it was right that I should become her defender, and that I, therefore, must know what hung so threateningly over her. Words were on my tongue, when suddenly the Judge bent his g

ken. My boy, don't dig up that which is all but buried forever. Listen to me, Estabro

u tell me that it is best for her and for me t

said, falling ba

voice had told him that only a moment was left fo

that it is better for you a

ient," I said.

some moments he remained so, his hands, from which the packet of papers had fallen, relaxed upon

e seconds passed, I almost felt that it was the wind that howled outside which

pon the polished floor recalled the Judge from his almost unconscious reverie. He half opened his eyes and once or twice moved his t

ateful,"

office, I believe could only have been bestowed by one who had had a lifelong practice in love of humanity. Indeed, he only directed it at me for a moment, and then tu

ppeared as if a blast of the night wind, entering the room, had dried it, crumbled it, and blown it away. In its place I now saw the terrible, eye-w

lfax!" I

as if he had heard me, but with that motion there

said, half risi

the stare in his eye

," he said i

ard him. He

e!" I

hand over his heart.... It was as still as a rundown clock. The room itself was still. The wind had paused a moment as if for this.... The Judge was dead. And yet because he still sat there, h

r occurred to me to go for assistance any more than it occurred to me that death, unlike sleep, was a permanent thing, from which the Jud

y fixed; it seemed fixed on some object. It looked past me, behind me, and there, with all its terror and all its intelligence, it rested, motionless. It seemed to refute the notion t

O ME, ES

that the dog was staring, too,-was staring, was drawing back his black lips, exposing his yellow teeth. Every hair on his back was erect, his nostrils were distended as if he were relying upon his

s, a presence which had wiped the smile from the Judge's face and tightened every nerve and sinew in the dog's lean body. I could hear the wind, and, in its lapse

yes searched the rectangular space, swept over the chairs, the tea-table covered with its display of rare china, the blue-and-gold Japanese floor vase,

uddenl

cony rail and the tossing leaves and branches of the vine, there appeared, as if it had

gs that grow in a cellar, it was weak with the terrible drooping, hopeless weakness of endless self-indulgence; it was a brutal face, and yet wore the expression of timid, anxious, pathetic inquiry. It was a face that had come to ask a ques

e glass doors, through which a torrent of wind poured into the room, and leaning out under the twisted branches of the vine, I tried in vain to penetrate the wall of blackness before me, and force my sight through it and down into the old garden, from which there arose only the rushing sound of t

, and as I turned, I found myself in the position of the thing that had looked in at us. The stare of the Judge was still fixed upon tha

r, louder, softer, softer. A passing boy whistled; I heard Julianna's step above me; I heard the dog licking his paws unconcernedly; I heard the curtains flap in the wind that filled the room; a

ses dulled by age, wagged his tail. "I must tell her,

Indeed, it was not necessary for me to speak; before I had gathered courage to do so, I saw her bosom swell with a long breath. She inhaled it jerkily, as one who is suddenly shocked with a delu

ed this some day soon. It is hard to believe, but has not come without warning. His heart-hi

, her firm mouth, her eyes which showed her agony, but no sign of weakness, and her soft voice as she said, "Wait for me here"-restrained me. I pres