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The Fighting Chance

Chapter 9 IX CONFESSIONS

Word Count: 11705    |    Released on: 06/12/2017

eady taking the ante-mortem statement of the new, the future fulfils the functions of the present. Time itself is considered m

art, is becoming a l

ty had almost ceased

hich he had lately been a member-spoke of him always in th

ory of his mother. Nothing halted because he was not present; nothing was delayed, rearranged, or abandoned because his familiar presence chanced to be missing. There remained only one more place to fill at a cotillion,

s when the town was young-his father, perhaps, perhaps his grandfather-these thought of him at intervals; the remainder had no leisure to remember even if they had not forgotten how to do it. Several cabmen missed him for a while; now and then a privileged caf?? waiter inquired about him from gay, noisy parties entering some old haunt of his. Mr. Desmond, of art gallery and roulette notoriety, whose busi

, Plank called on him for the second time in his life, and was presently received in the so

e snow in the street. Plank was shocked at the change in him-at the ghost of a voice, listlessly formal; at the thin, nerveless hand offered; startled, so that he forgot his shyness, and retained the bony hand tightly in his, and instincti

him that this beefy young man liked him, was naively concerned about him, felt friendly toward him, and was showing it as spontaneously as a child. Because he now understood something of how it is with a ma

er as he began to realise the enormity of familiarity comm

me up to the library, if you've a few minutes to spar

uttered Plank, "v

fingers. Even then he continued to sit uncomfortably, his bulk balanced on a rickety, spindle-legged chair, which he stubbornly refused to exchange for another,

haracteristic of bashful men; and Siward gravely helped him on when he floundered and turned shy. After a little, matters went very well with them, and Plank, much more at ease than he had ever dared to hope

inished adult at all; only a big, wistful, lonely boy, without comrades and with nowhere to play. On Plank's round face there rem

sing Deepvale Steel Plank Company; the unhappy years at Harvard-hard years, for he learned with difficulty; solitary years, for he was not sought by those whom he desired to know. Then he ventured to speak of his father's growing interest in steel; the merging and absorbing of independent plants; his own entry upon the scene on the death of his father; and-the rest-material

through the high school of the smoky town, groping laboriously through the chilly halls of Harvard toward the outer breastwork

while to me. I have always desired to be a part of the best th

, still smiling. "The noisiest

best?" inquire

, and whose tastes, intelligence, and sanity enable them to express their thoughts. There are suc

of," said Plank. "Could you te

volved from outer chaos to be characteristic of anything except the crudity and energy of the chaos from which it emerged. The balance between wealt

formula?" i

rogant intelligence and dowdy breeding-all excellent materials, when filtered and fused in the retort; and many of our test tubes have already precipitated pure metal bes

art of the best we have. I want to be part of the brightness o

mitat

y. I wish to be able to go where such men as you go; be permitted, asked, desired to be part of what you alwa

," said Siward, smiling. "What you ask is

n why I may not hope to

believe you to be exactly what they require. You ask me whether you may be able to go where you desir

is squared jaws relaxed; then

g for with all the patience I have in me. And yet it is always yours t

nderstand the lack of. Those born without a tag unmistakably ticketing them and their positions in the world were perforce ticketed. Siward took it for gran

him; but Plank's upward evolutions upon the social ladder were of no i

her cup of tea, became very communicative about his stables and his dogs, and the

asants the way I did at Black Fells?

f a square deal," s

ttles it

d not let me i

didn't seem to me to be the thing; only it's don

ay about it, Plank. It's pretty rotte

try some square shooting at the Fells," stamm

I were going to shoot at all; but I fanc

ve

grave again. "I see no prospect of

amated Electric, I t

r frankly. "You've read the pape

ybody quite understands t

-not yet

en his shrewd under

usly, "how much the Algonquin cr

re on him as he spoke, wa

hat rumour be

that the Algonquin Trust Company is godfather to Inter-County. That doesn't explain why a man shou

r the door he might be inclined to kick

ng to a personal enemy-if he has any. He

rd n

beg your pardon! You have n

dvice some day. Will

, so plainly proud and eager to do a service that Si

ted to stand up, but had

Oh, you are off to the country for a month or two? I see.... You don't look very well. I hop

iward, "not you. It was very nice of you to come

aid Plank; "and if I had as many as I c

nd again. Plank shook it awkwardly, and went away on tiptoe

between Plank and Siward in the f

the Kemp Ferralls; he and Major Belwether were seen together at the Caithness dance, and in the Caithness box at the opera. Once a respectable newspaper reported him at Tuxedo for the week's end; his name, l

elebrated yacht club admitted him to membership; a whole shoal of excellent minor clubs which really needed new members followed suit, and even the rock-ribbed Lenox, wearied of its own time-honoured immobility,

derstand that any effort of his own would probably be disastrous; that progress could come only through his own receptive passivity; that nothing was demanded,

arning to overlook the insolence of the accident that permitted him to possess what they had never known the want of. First of all people must tire of repeating to each other that he was nobody, and that would happen when they wearied of explaining to one another why he was ever asked anywhere. There was time enough for him to offer amusement to people after they had ceased to find amusement in snubbing him; plenty of time in the future fo

season as a sweet, reasonable, and unspoiled girl, was always friendly with him. That must be looked upon as important, considering Sylvia's unassailable

, and Agatha Caithness, had followed her into her own apartments to write his cheque for what he owed. "You've driven with me so much an

, reddening, and twisti

dn't suppose I cou

demanded Plank

mercilessly. Can't you see how it he

ring, "just how stupid I am. If yo

body talks about compromising now; all that went

l it, then?" aske

t? you gr

u say I'

n't s

o d

dark eyes with the Japanese slant to them rested mockingly on Plank, who had now turned c

ples, "and that is certain to be useful to you, and it doesn't affect me. What on earth are you blushing about?" An

he way you take

expect me to do-call f

this talk-gossi

ties." She dropped her pretty head, and began plaiting with her fingers the silken gown over her knee. "Or h

ke care of yourself,"

, if I w

Leroy knows it; only I don't car

tion in the matter; and she drew a lo

liberately, and lighted a cigarette from a

hovered over the space to be filled in. He tried to recollect the amount, hesitated, dated the c

the exac

h the haze of her cigar

he amount,"

she nodded

ut

sides, I shall

ed. "You can't refuse t

coolly. "I'm tired

you w

it. It is all I ever

tipped the ashes from the cigarette's end

t you mean," he p

ng rings and cabalistic signs out of cigarette smoke. Can you read their meaning? Look! There goes one, and there's another, and another-all twisting and unc

in the main living-room, and Mor

dded Leila, glancing

d, ignoring his wife's question; "d

filled cheque to Mortimer, who took it and scrutinised it for a moment, rubbing his h

t forget in a hurry. Agatha's asleep; she's going to that ball-where is it?" he dem

and lighted an

d Agatha won't start before one. And if you think Pl

d it's good policy for Beverly to go where he's asked. Can't you tur

'd be to let a chance slip

herwise when you g

ery time what the cards are going to do to me. Leila, go

an't stand for, and that's this continual loss of sleep

f your bed, like a confounded turkey. Come on! You'd better begin training, you kno

ted Mortimer at Desmond's and Burbank's, when Mortimer, cleaned out and unable to draw against a balance

nt to,' either; it's a case of 'got to.' That old pink-and-white rabbit, Belwether, got me into a

his trousers' pockets, his gross features dark with disgust; and presently they heard the front door slam, and a rattling tattoo of h

e great windows and looked out into the night, where the round, drooping, flo

he use given them at all hours resulted in endless scenes, and an utter impossibility

horses standing in front of Delmonico's all nig

tation at one; and Leila seated herself at a card-tab

ominous spade from the pack and held it out. "La Mort!" she exclaimed in mock tragedy, yet there was another undertone ring

ed the formula: "Qui frappe? Qui entre? Qui prend chaise? Qui parle? Oh, the deuce! it's always the same! Tie

occurred when he was heavily aware of a tension which, after a while, affected even his few thick nerves. One of those intervals was threatening now: her flushed cheeks, her feverish activity with her hands, the unconscious reflex movement of her silken knees and restless slippers, all foreboded it

nth or two-something of Mortimer's record as a burly brother to the rich; something of his position among those who made no question of his presence anywhere. Something of Leila, t

d not alter his policy or weaken his faith in his mentors; nor did it impair his real gratitude to them, and his real and simple friendship for them both. He was faithful in friendship once formed, obstinat

te, flung back into the depths of her great chair, profile turned from him, her chin imprisoned in her ringed fingers.

voice indistinct, smothered by her pink p

nt to turn

you need

it's not

e, and, setting it afire from the match he offered, exhal

e. "Tell me, for I don't know. Agatha? Mario

" he admitte

sing over her cigarette. "That

thful?" he

w. Are you?

lk that w

d Sylvia Landis have to talk about s

civil to me,

s to a lot of people. W

ular; mostly about Shotover, an

ver mention St

She knows

," said Leila, look

body likes him-or

imer coolly. "I was in love wit

dded in

ow?" she asked. "Everybody

utiously. "I stopped in to see him the other day,

there in her chair, changing her position restlessly from moment to moment; and at length

own. Her cheeks, half buried against the back of the chair, were overfl

though afraid to move; and she sat up

under her breath; "what a

?" he blu

in

nothing to say. He had never before

lp me out of it?"

?... Do y

an it! I m

ng the dry flood-gates over which rattled an avalanche of words-bitter, br

ttering in his ears. And after a while he heard his

ings, Leila; don't

on't yo

do anything! I have no busine

not speak to you? To whom can I turn?

aid fearfully; "the

he horror of it behind me through the mud, except when the horror drags me? To whom am I to turn-to other beasts like

ng yet; the horror has not yet corrupted the youth in me. I am fashioned for some reason, am I not?-for some purpose, some happiness. I am not bad; I am

ided. People talk of me, and I have given them subjects enough! But-look at me! Straight between the eyes! Every law have I broken except that! Do you understand? That on

er haunted eye

ere no decent chance, no decent hope? Is there only indecency in prospect, if a ma

face; and she stood there swaying, until Plank perfo

thing of him; and when it came, leaving her still incredulous, his arms around her, h

ed, "I-we are friends, you see. H

ove me?" she

nderstand there is a chance. Perhaps it is partly ambition," he said honestly, "for I am quite sur

omen can. W

t ask me,

rry that I am i

er body, and he step

she asked

N

usly. "Am I to be permitted to adore you

are for as much as I do you. It is easy, I think, for a woman, li

" she sa

urn on him. I can't! He

you into his image? Do you think I hope for your degradation and mine? Are you afraid I should not recognise love unaccompanied by the at

ooked at him, then turned and p

art you had better be about it!" she sa

at the windows watching the lamps of cabs and carriages sparkling

smond's; and he was informed that Mortimer, hard hit, had signified his intention of recouping at Burbank's. Then he managed to ge

dressed, and finally descended, to find Agatha Caithness alone in the lib

ty," he said

ly, relinquishing the wheel and strolling with languid grace about the room,

en ivresse Si tu co

gain toward Plank, her pretty, pale face delicate as an enamel

with us," she said carelessly. "Are you goin

men denied the indefinable enchantment of her; few men could meet her deep-lidded, transparent gaze unmoved. In the sensitive curve of her mouth there was a kind of sensuousness; in h

and aquamarines-almost an effrontery, as the latter were even darker than her eyes; yet t

y's; and he mentally sketched out the value of the diamonds, a trifle surprised, because

he vigorous, youthful incarnation of Life itself, in contrast to Agatha's almost deathly beauty. She greeted him not only without a trace of embarrassment, but with such a friendl

t was inadequate for the crush of vehicles; and the glittering pressure within the hous

arge, strange, full of strangers. He attempted to obtain his bearings by wandering about looking for a small rococo reception-room where he remembered he had once talked kennel talk w

a softening of recognition; clean-cut, attractive men in swarms, all animated, all amused, all at home among themselves and among the silken visions of loveliness passing and repassing, with here an extended gloved arm and the cordial greeting of camaraderie, there a qu

aw Quarrier talking to Agatha, but the forme

and she snubbed Plank for his share in the disaster, which depressed him, and he started for the smoking-room, wherever that haven might be found. He got into the ball-room, however, by mistake, and adorned the wall, durin

cies until Plank's broad face flamed like the setting sun. Then Captain Voucher unloaded a frightened d??butante on him who tried to talk about horses and co

erself was immersed in a dawning affair with Fleetwood. She did every

s, deepening to violet with pleasure, and the trailing sweetness of a voice

rd from Ferrall's arm, saying, under her breath, "I have saved

" stamme

rl beside him: "See here, Sylvia, you've dragged me all over this house on one pret

, it isn't. Kemp

s it your delicately inimitabl

dded Miss Landis coo

r," retorted Ferrall wrathfully. "I thou

t see Mr. Plank coming to claim it

ally adored dancing, glared about for anybody, and presently cor

k, looked up at him with her

do you? Would you mind i

then with a little shrug laid one hand on his arm, and they

permitted a moment or two of keen delight to sweep her dreamily from her purpose. But that purpose must have been a stron

he did not know where he was going, and she was familiar with the house, and they soon entered the conservatory, where, in the sha

ickets of forced lilacs over-hung by early wistaria. A spring-like odour hu

friendly; you've always asked me to dance whenever we have met

if they found no use for him they let him alone. Mortimer, Fleetwood, Belwether-all, all had something to exact from him. It was for that he was tolerated-he knew it; he had slowly and unwillingly learned it. His intrusion among these people, of whom he was not one, would be endured onl

orately careless question her lips were already framing. Leaning a little nearer i

lank," she said; "

th him. She did not care. Nobody cared. So, recognising his c

very solemn

is a reaction from frivolity. I suppose t

t danced long. To and fro flitted the silken vanes of her fan, now closing imp

dden from his thick and credulous understanding. It had taken him some time to make this clear to himself; passing from suspicion, through chagrin and ov

im what she had come to him to learn, and then, satisfied, to lea

tution of friendship, he turned guilelessly to meet a new advance, always, sooner or later, the friendly mask w

waving graceful accompaniment to her soft voice, punctuating her se

returned capriciously, just avoiding it-a subtly charming pattern of words which required so littl

very edges of it, the airy retreat, the innocent detour, the elaborate and circuitous return. And at last she drifted int

heard that he is in town. I stopped to see him the other day, but

to the country," she said

ous to serve his turn and release her; for he went on: "I thought I

id. No doubt I

t he looked very ill, and you said, rather sharply,

id slowly. "I

ope

the controlled emp

hastly; and all he said was that he expected to leave for the country. I asked him to shoot next year at

about his

s,

business? Is it anything about

hink

e wor

uld be, if my interests were lo

uld worry you?" she asked, smi

id, "I can'

wouldn't

yself don't

e velvet of her mouth with the fan's

I'm so glad he has you to a

s?" asked Pl

n financia

on't adv

y n

n't asked me to

you.... Don't wait for him, Mr. Pla

Plank wa

ll, won

without an invitation?" asked Plank, so

nd is it not your duty to advi

s to do. Friendship comes to grief when

row view to ta

e straight and narrow. It is best to keep to the trodden p

for an epigram," she said, careless of

pleasantly. "I never made an epigram consciously, and I have never

displeasure sta

y questioning

estioning me rather se

f friendship. I did not agree with it.

at the clusters of dim blossoms behind her; and

out Mr. Siward. There is nothing I can do for him, nothing he can do for me. If there is to be friendshi

n it his gesture committed her to silence with the

knew a man I cared for as much as I care for Mr. Siward. I know why, too. He is disinterested. I do not believe he wastes very many thoughts on me. Perhaps he will. I want him to like me, if it's possible. But one thing you and I may be sure of: if he d

d not

er?" he repe

she

e silent significance of his waiti

It is-is pleasant. I like Mr. Siward; I like to hear men speak of him as you do. I like you for doing it. I

eak otherwise than I have

know w-what is-is usually said w

ut his habits?"

hy do they do it? Is there a single one among them qualified to criticise Mr. Siward? And besi

, the while his eyes, expressionless and almost opaque in the dim light, never left her's, until, under the u

ly confirmed; and now the question became simple: was she wort

you it is because I cannot be indifferent to what concerns him. But before

d, head b

w, Mr. Plank

t in his fortunes

, on

til his heavy under lip projected. "Within my

mea

ou return what he gives-if there is really friendship between y

ot care; she no longer cared what he said to her or thought about her; nor did she care that her mask had fallen at last. It was not what he was saying, but what her own heart repeated so heavily that drove the colour from her face. Not he, but she herself

g fear, too; for she had set her foot on the fal

ight to know. I care for him as much as you do. W

nd"-Plank rested his head on his hand, dropping his eyes-"and he didn't know me. I-I do not think he will remember that he met me, or that I spoke. And-I could do nothing, absolutely nothing. And I don't know where he is. He will go home after a while. I call-every day-to see-see what can be done. But if he were there I would not know what to

answer; and after a little while they rose and moved thro

s: "I should like to find Grace Ferrall," she said ver

control; it was he who had become the pilot now, and he steered his own way through the billowy ocean of silk and lace, master of the course h

rier, coldly inquiring, confronted them; was passed almost without recognition, and left b

earing his voice, she ra

with you, Kemp, when yo

Grace is. Are you in a hurry

a chair for her, and she sank down, dropping her elbows on

coming to?" and he motioned a servant to fill her glass. But she pushed it aside wit

at her from where he stood beside Plank. "O tempora! O Sylvia!... Plank, would yo

ture Plank seated himself, while Ferrall, shrugging his square shoulders, sauntered off in quest of his wife, stopping a moment at a neighbour

conversation, particularly when anybody to whom she owed an explanation hove darkly in sight on the horizon. But Plank's appetite was in proportion to the generous lines on which nature had fashioned him, and she paid less and less a

came trotting back, beaming rosy effusion. He leaned roguishly over the table, his moist eyes a-twinkle with suppressed mirth; then, bestowing a spright

young man in there who didn't see me, and I peeped o

er eyes a li

know,"

ably to wear himself!-Te-he! Or perhaps he was going to be married!-He-he-he!-next winter-ahe

wing their direction, he turned around to find Qua

rted, "I'm caught talking out in church, I se

r, pale as a sheet. "You are in error.

e menace of Quarrier's face, nodded,

l a gaucherie. If Quarrier had chosen a collar like Agatha's for her, what of it? But as he had not, on his own statement, what did it matter? Why shou

her. What had happened to stir up these three men? Of what importance was an indiscretion of an old gentleman whose fatuous vanity and consequent blunders everybody was familiar with? And,

for some years, that the Caithness fortune was in rather an alarming condition. Howard had been able recently to do a favour or two for old Peter Caithness. She had heard the major bragging about it. Evidently Mr. Caithness must have improved the chance, if he was able

faint sensation returned. She passed her ungloved, unsteady fingers across her eyelids and forehead, looking up a

rall coming?" s

gh the entrance into the ball-room. After a moment he said: "They're

o are you, Agatha"; and with a little impulsive caress for the jewels she passed on, unconscious of the delicate flush that spread from

d carelessly, and resumed her t?ate-? -t?ate with Vouc

n with all the time he had given to those whose use of him he understood, how could he have forgotten Leila and the recent scene between them, and the

their adieux to Marion and her mother when h

ouded in silk and ermine, turned to offer him her hand, saying in a low vo

ing in himself had claimed her respect. And after a moment he sw

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