Three Men in a Boat

rly, family-man puts up a picture.-George makes a sensible, remar

again assembled, to discuss and

bit of paper and write down, J., and you get the grocery catalogue, Geor

e the burden of everything himself, an

when my Uncle Podger undertook to do a job. A picture would have come home from the frame-maker's, and be standing in t

you, any of you, worry yourselv

sixpen'orth of nails, and then one of the boys after her to tell her what size

n round to Mr. Goggles, and tell him, 'Pa's kind regards, and hopes his leg's better; and will he lend him his spirit-level?' And don't you go, Maria, because I shall want somebody to

ing round the room, looking for his handkerchief. He could not find his handkerchief, because it was in the pocket of the coat he had taken off, and he did not kn

ross such a set in all my life-upon my word I didn't. Six of you!-and you

that he had been sitting

f now. Might just as well ask the cat to fin

ould have another go, the whole family, including the girl and the charwoman, standing round in a semi-circle, ready to help. Two people would have to hold the chair, and a th

, in an injured tone,

for it, while he would stand on the chair, and grunt, and

last, but by that time he

r? Great heavens! Seven of you, gaping round ther

ir, beside him, and see if we could find it; and we would each discover it in a different place, and he would call us all fools, one after another, and tell us to get down.

esults, and sneer at one another. And in the general row, the original nu

and trying to reach a point three inches beyond what was possible for him to reach, the string would slip, and down he would slide on to t

would not allow the children to

on it with his left hand, and take the hammer in his right hand. And, with the first

r a nail into the wall, she hoped he'd let her know in time, so that she could

ing," Uncle Podger would reply, picking himself u

clean through the plaster, and half the hammer after it, and Uncle Podger be

t, the picture would be up-very crooked and insecure, the wall for yards round looking as if i

harwoman's corns, and surveying the mess he had made with evident pride.

p, I know, and I told him so. I said I could not per

ncil, and the catalogue, and Georg

he Thames would not allow of the navigation of a boat sufficiently large to take the thi

ge s

must not think of the things we could do with,

with reference to our trip up the river of life, generally. How many people, on that voyage, load up the boat till it is ever in danger of swam

ree ha'pence for; with expensive entertainments that nobody enjoys, with formalities and fashions, with pretence and ostentation, and with-oh, heaviest, maddest lumber of all!-the dread of what w

iety and care, never gain a moment's rest for dreamy laziness-no time to watch the windy shadows skimming lightly o'er the shallows, or the glittering sunbeams flitting in and out among the ripples, or the gre

e pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe

oes upset; good, plain merchandise will stand water. You will have time to think as well as to work. Time to drink in lif

don, really. I

e list to George

"we will have a boat with a cover. It is e

ge canvas over them, and fasten it down all round, from stem to stern, and it converts the boat into a sort of little house, and it is beautifully cosy, thou

ooth-powder, some shaving tackle (sounds like a French exercise, doesn't it?), and a couple of big-towels for bathing. I notice that people a

a dip before breakfast, and I religiously pack up a pair of drawers and a bath towel. I always get red bathing drawers. I rather fancy myself in red drawer

ally off. But I haven't enjoyed it. They seem to keep a specially cutting east wind, waiting for me, when I go to bathe in the early morning; and they pick out all the three-cornered stones, and put them on the top, and they sharpen up the rocks and cover the p

t to mid-ocean. I begin to strike out frantically for the shore, and wonder if I shall ever see home and friends again, and wish I'd been kinder to my little sister when a boy (when I was a boy, I mean). Just when I have given up all hope

talked as if we were going to

e was nothing like a swim before breakfast to give you an appetite. He said it always gave him an appetite. George said that i

ard work in towing sufficient food fo

d fresh about the boat, even if we did have to take a few more hundredweight of provi

take three bath towels, so as

river, and he replied: "No, not exactly himself like; but he knew some fellows who had, and it was easy enough;" and Harris and I were weak enough to fancy he knew what he was talking about,

able impostor, who could evidently have known nothing whatever about the matter. If

upset and wanted a change; also plenty of handkerchiefs, as they would do to wipe things, an