Three Men on the Bummel

ogs-The German and the solar system-A tidy country-The mountain valley as it ought to be, according to the German idea-How the waters come down i

o had, for the last quarter of an hour or so, bee

heavy man, on windy nights, be positively dangerous work. If they will fix it to a tree, why not fix it lower down, why always among the topmost branches? But, maybe, I am misjudging the country," he continued, a new idea occurring to him. "Possibly the Germans, who are in many matters a

gaze out of w

ct, according to the German notion of prettiness. There is not a bit of paint on it anywhere, not a plaster image all round, not even a flag. The nest finished, the bird proceeds to live outside it. He drops thi

ke this little box, and put your rubbish inside where I can't see it. Come out when you want to sing; but le

course of time every German bird, one is confident, will have his proper place in a full chorus. This promiscuous and desultory warbling of his must, one feels, be irritating to the precise German mind; there is no method in it. The music-loving German will organise him

tself. The lake is lined with zinc, and once a week he takes it up, carries it into the kitchen, and scours it. In the geometrical centre of the grass plot, which is sometimes as large as a tablecloth and is generally railed round, he places a china dog. The Germans are very fond of dogs, but as a rule they prefer them of china. The china dog never digs holes in the lawn to bury bones, and never scatters a flower-bed to the winds with his h

pring he uncovers them, and stands them up again. If it happens to be an exceptionally fine autumn, or an exceptionally late spring, so much the worse for the unfortun

ch, with their wilful, untidy ways, are eyesores. The poplar grows where it is planted, and how it is planted. It has no improper rugged ideas of its own. It does not want to wave

it must have its seat on which he can rest and mop his brow; for your German would no more think of sitting on the grass than would an English bishop dream of rolling down One Tree Hill. He likes his view from the summit of the hill, but he likes to find there a stone tablet telling him what to l

nd making that stream respectable. All the stones that were impeding the course of the water they were carefully picking out and carting away. The bank on either side they were bricking up and cementing. The overhanging trees and bushes, the tangled vines and creepers they were rooting up and trimming down. A little further I came upon the finished work-the mountain valley as it ought to be, according to German ideas. The water, now a broad, sluggish stream, flowed over a level, gravelly bed, between two walls crowned with stone coping. At every hun

be found in the Black Forest. The last time I walked down it some hundreds of Italian workmen were encamped there hard at work, training the wild little Wehr the

A German poet, noticing waters coming down as Southey describes, somewhat inexactly, the waters coming down at Lodore, would be too shocked to stop and writ

rity would say severely to the waters. "We can't have this sort of thi

zinc pipes and wooden troughs, and a corkscrew staircase, a

idy land

Wednesday evening, and sta

torically rich environment, provide pleasure for a winter, but bewilder for a week. It has not the gaiety of Paris or Vienna, which quickly palls; its charms are more solidly German, and more lasting. It is the Mecca of the musician. Fo

orty years, it is said, poor lady! The narrow rooms where she ate her heart out and died are still shown. Chateaux, shameful for this deed of infamy or that, lie scattered round the neighbourhood like bones about a battlefield; and most of your guide's stories are such as the "young person" educated in Germany had be

Everybody travels by them, excepting only officers in uniform, who must not. Ladies in evening dress, going to ball or opera, porters with their baskets, sit side by side. They are all-important in the streets, and everything and e

we sat listening to the band at the Belvedere, Harris said, à prop

you think th

those electric tramcars. I wanted to see the town, so I

platz," I

ake you about, and how you have to look out for the corne

odd

ry firmly himself, and he, in his turn, fell back against a boy who was carrying a trumpet in a green baize case. They never smiled, neither the man nor the boy with the trumpet; they just stood there and looked sulky. I was going to say I was sorry

nking of something

nger, was naturally at a disadvantage. The way I rolled and staggered about that platform, clutching wildly now at this man and now at that, must have been really comic. I don't say it was high-class humour, but it would have amused most people. Those Germans seemed to see no fun in it whatever

usiness of the shop was handling of glass and china; the cushions appeared to be in the nature of an experiment. They were very beautiful cushions, han

her off a present. To my mind, he is overdoing the business, and more than once I have expostulated with him. His aunt will be meeting other aunts, and talking

he would go round to that shop and get one of those cushions for his

He said he hadn't got a cushion, said he had changed his mind, said he didn't think his aunt would care for a cushion. Evidently something was amiss.

nd I happened to be alone, he broa

peculiar in some th

What has

d, "there was that

aunt," I

nt; I never knew a man so touchy about an aunt

plied. "I am not objectin

his temper,

rally make myself understood with a little effort, and gather the sense of what is said to me, provided they don't gabble. I went into the shop. A young girl came up to me; she wa

about wha

of the story while he is telling you

asked me what I wanted. I understood that all right; there could have been n

ive me a

be, she had not heard, so I repeated it louder. If I had chucked her

ought I must be

said there was no mistake. I pointed to my twenty mark piece, and repea

: she seemed quite excited about it. The second girl did not believe her-did not think I look

ou wanted a cus

s,' I answered. 'I will say

Then you can

g I should have walked out of the shop; but there the cushions were i

It is a simple sentence. I

s a bright-eyed, saucy-looking little wench, this last one. On any other occasion I might have been pleas

e at anything. That done, they fell to chattering like Jenny Wrens, all three together; and between every half-dozen words they looked across at me; and the more they looked at m

ve, the third girl came up to me;

et it, wil

erstand her at first

you've got it, will

I was not going without it. I had made up my mind to have

her towards me. They pushed her close up to me, and then, before I knew what was happening, she put her hands on my shoulders, stood up on tiptoe, and kissed me. After which, burying her face in her apron, she ran off, followed by the second girl. The third girl opened the door fo

hat did yo

d: "A

I know. What I mean is, what was

ied: "A

is a cushion. You muddled up the two words-people have done it before. I don't know much about this sort of thing myself; but you asked for a twenty mark kiss, an

ith me it would