A Fool and His Money

innocuous prodigality, and if I live to be a thousand I shall never again experience such a noisome half hour as the one I spent in listening to their indignant protests against my tyrannical oppress

f the sick baby. With on

babies

f proper food and nourishment. Somewhat impressed by this pitiful lament, I enquired how his wife was getting along. The ancient, being in a placid state of s

nt quite to the extreme, however, when we tiptoed about our lofty halls. All of the afternoon we kept a sharp lookout for the doctor, but if he came we were none the wiser. Britton went into the town at three with the letters and a telegram to my friends in Vienna, imploring them to look up a

in our part of the castle and yet permitted that confounded dog of hers to yowl and bark all day

erous business during the next month or two. Indeed, word already had been received by the tourists company's agent in the town that a party of one hundred and sixty-nine would arrive the next day but one

, all of my devices, all of my objections, effected an entrance and over-ran the place like a swarm of ants. The feat that could not have been accomplished by an armed force was successfully managed by a group of pedagogues from Ohio,

ng, lest you should be

ret little window. Naturally, I am too much of a gentleman to have projected unfair means of illuminating her face, such as the use of a pocket electric lamp or anything of that sort. I am nothing if not gallant,-whe

she said, on ope

triving to conceal my disap

you. It was so good of

t bolt upright and

awhile?" I asked, politely facetious.

on my full evening regalia, spike-tail coat and all. Nothing could have been more ludicrousl

aware of a muffled quality in her ordinarily clear, musical v

ke," I added as an afterthought. My blush deepened as I recalled the attenuated b

's benefit,

do know Gr

for years. Isn't she

ly. "She is a liar and her husband is a poltroon. The

ot be able to discharge them. My grandfather tried it fifty years ago and failed. After that he made it a point to dismiss Conrad eve

I said, triumphantly. "A new one wi

ively, "how glad I am.

n, Mr. Smart, but reall

e sends up. It is jolly

shall be v

ns. Unable to find suitable words to express my sustained

in a business-like manner, "and I believe we will

telligence, but I was so stunned by prec

've been subsisting all

eeps a distinct and separate account of everything, poor thing. I am sure you will not fi

uite sure

hey are. Why should we discommode each o

ce, madam. You surely can't expect her-o

ps if I were to pay her-or him-extra wages it would be all r

her shortly,-

t extraordin

o turn out as it has. Who would have dreamed of your

or granted. "Much as I regret it, madam, I am compelled to ask you

wth of compunction. Just as I was on the point of slight

?" she said. "It is such a nuisance to send Max or Rudolph over to town every whip-stitc

hone!" I

telephone in my own name, but you could have one in

ried, and go

d. "The doctor came this evening and it really wasn't necessary. Do

: "Well, I'll be-jiggered," instead of something a little less unique. Her audacity

trifled with. To-morrow sometime I shall enter the east wing of this building

you can arrange to brea

eat deal of pleasure t

at five-or

one balustrade an emphatic blow with my fist

nts I'd do

dear!" she cr

e in my house; then you succeed in stopping my workmen, steal my cook and men

lly stern

r! It's all poppy-cock. To-morrow you will find yourself, bag

"Are you really,

emphat

nder," she said, very

lad to

e it," I cried,

in advance to let me stay on here for a mont

dignity. "By the way," I went on, knitting my brows, "how am I to

depended o

to-morrow morning, Mr. Smart,"

eep a wink, and yet I, who bitterly resent having my sleep curtailed in the slightest degree, held no brief against circumstances. In fact, I rather revelled in the promise of nocturnal dis

the morning." Noting his polite struggle to conceal his astonishme

emarked. "And, as for that, she may be expecting

d I, conside

e safer to wait till the tour

ace to-morrow or any other

g just the same, sir," sa

owled, somehow absorb

for a moment

telephone, sir?" he

was thinking of

tartled into committing myself. "Save us a great deal

ght as well have a system of electric bells put in. That is to say, sir, in bot

o bounce all of the Schmicks. They have known about this from the start and have lied like thieves. By Jove, she must have an extraordinary power over them,-or

, sir, but wouldn't it be a tip-top idea to have it out with the Schmicks to-night? Being, sir, as you anticipate a rather wakeful night, I only make so bold as to suggest it i

itton. We'll have t

the study. There I found. Mr. Poopendyke, sound asleep in a great arm-chai

on after an unconscionable lapse of t

ns?" I demanded, a

me until Britton explained that they were not to be found in their customary quarters,-that is to say, in bed. Of course it wa

ent with a stern, compelling gaze

mein

do you serve the la

ot for the reason you may suspect. I was trying to fix my question and his response quite clearly in my memor

g with the lady thi

herr; I kno

o tell me what the devil is the meaning of all t

t was evident that he meant to defy me. His sharp little eyes sent a warning look at Gretel, who instantly ceased h

y are you so infernally set upon shielding her? What crime has she committed

uggestion of tears in his voice. "My wife is old, mein herr. You wo

tely. "Out with it, man.

. I have a stupid, weak way of letting a twinkle appear there even when I am trying to be harsh and domineering. Britton has noticed it frequently, I am sure, and I think he rather depends upon i

everything to-morrow," he went on eagerly. "I am sworn to reveal nothing, mein herr. My wife, too,

nts to the Rothhoefens for s

, I suspect,"

herr!" protested Con

u old rascal?" I demand

ke was s

of grovelling. "Forgive! forgive!" he g

the key

e it, mein herr. Ach, Gott! She will drive us out, she will shame us all! Ach, and she

il the next morning, when, it was reasonable to expect, the lady herself would explain everything. Further appeal to Schm

d him so profoundly, that I couldn't help feeling a

-morrow she will explain. Time enoug

mewhat feebly, "wh

a feudal stronghold. Somehow I was made to feel that if I didn't behave myself I stood in considerable danger of being turned off the place. However, we forced something out of Schmick before his stalwart sons came tramping up the stairs to rescue him. The old man gave us a touch of inside history co

ther of them produced a male descendant. The estate, already in a state of financial as well as physical disintegration, fell into the hands of women, and went from bad to worse so rapidly that long before the last quarter of the century was fairly begun the castle and the reduced holdings slipped away from the Rothhoefens altogether and into the control of the father of the

r, the worthy distiller. He had run through with the bulk of his patrimony by the time he was twenty-f

to the shoes, so to speak, of the grim old barons Rothhoefen, who whatever else they may have been in a high-handed sort of way were men to the core. This pretender, this creatur

d passed from Count Hohendahl's hands into mine. I, at least, would pay them their wages and I might,

ted to look up a bit, with me at the head of the house. Was it not possible for a new and mighty race to rise and take the place of the glorious Rothhoefens? A l

the old rascal pu

whole matter was thi

God willing, there woul

Conrad invariably pron

onants and

he east wing with the history of the extinct Rot

n with the sleepy Gretel, "we'll let it go o

not receive me before eleven o'clock. He begged m

sense of the word. She wouldn't let me sleep. For two hours I tried to get rid of her, but she fi

pitiable nonentities if Conrad's estimate is to be accepted. A descendant of one of those girl-bearing daughters of the las

ition that gave her a great deal more power over them than even I possessed: they served her, not me. From time to time there occurred to me the thought that my own position in the household was rather an ignoble one, and that I was a very weak and incompete

cautions as veils. Still, this was speculation, and my reasoning is not always sound, for which I sometimes thank heaven. She had a baby. At lea

o each other and they all have babies for me to go into false ecstasies over. No doubt babies are very nice when they don't squawk or pull your nose or jab you in the eye, but through some strange and prevailing misfortune I have never encountered one when it was asleep. If t

or to overcome his horror of babi

clock, still oppressed by the

bed, having-as I afterwards heard-the breweries, an art gallery and the Zoological gardens to visit before noon and therefore were required

urists were upon me! Too late I remembered that the door to my room had been left unlocked! The hundred and sixty-nine were huddled outsid

k the door. On the third stride I whirled and made a flying leap into the bed, scuttling beneath the covers with the speed and accuracy of a crawfish. J

hundred years. The later barons refused to sleep in it because one of their ancestors had been assassinated between its sheets at the tender age of six. He was stabbed by a step-uncle who played him false. This room is haunted. Obse

er spoke up: "Can

madam. But we mu

see where the o

bedspreads and curtains.

. A sharp-nosed lady led the way. She was within three feet of the bed and was stret

t o

tairs and that he narrowly escaped death in the avalanche of horrified humanity