A Fool and His Money

attended by f

* *

; creaking floors were calked; windows were picketed by uncompromising articles of furniture deployed to keep my ruthless refugee from adventuring too close t

pper windows with hypnotic zeal, and listen with straining ears for the inevitable squall of a child or the bark of a d

ves tingling, was to be a nightly occupation at uncertain intervals; that was plain to be seen. All day long I would be shivering with anxiety and praying for night to come so that I might lie awake and pray for the sun to rise, and in this way pass the time as quickly as

ter they had departed. Ordinarily the Lord isn't thanked when an electric light com

friendly terms with each other; a French valet who had the air of one used to being served on a tray outside the servants' quarters; and a German attendant with hands constructed especially for the purpose of kneading a

I do not know, but from the woe-be-gone expression on his face the morning after the first night, and the fact that Bri

band, Dr. George, thanked me for saving all their lives and then, feeling a draft, turned up his coat collar a

alphabet. For brevity's sake, I'll call him Umovitch. The French valet's master was a Viennese gentleman of twenty-six or eight (I heard), but who looked forty. I

t Vienna, and I liked him from the start. You could tell that he was the sort of a chap who is bound to get on in the world by simply looking at his wife. The man who could win the love and support of such an attractive creature must of necessity have qualifications t

unted for. They belonged to the most exclusive set in New York and Newport. He had an incomprehensible lot of money and a taste f

I exc

nothing I could say to that and still be a perfect host. But to you I declare

low wall and looking down upon the river. He puffed idly at a cigarette. His coal black hair grew very sleek on

Mr. Pless,

h young man with a pitying exp

ere it is quiet he might be able to forget-Oh, but I am not supposed to tell you a word of the st

dee

laced between two duties. She

s not his real name," she said, lowering her voice. "But,

is sufficie

nward question. The next I knew

he whispered. "His heart is

up. Elsie proceeded to

Mr. Pless," said I. "

looked hard

Elsie until she made room for him beside her on th

ust a little about him,"

due him

the fellow's heart i

his wife. "Wouldn't y

his legs

?" repeated

us as his. You can't br

it?" I inquired,

id Billy im

patched," said I.

," said Elsie gravely. "He

re telling," caut

me isn't Pless, his wife got a divorce from him, and now she has taken

almost poppin

hat they all said "sh!" and shot apprehe

Elsie in alarm. "

fair in the newspapers. They've had nothing else lately. I won't say he is a count, an

s," said I, trying to recover my self-possessi

n!" cried El

you won't tell me hi

ously. "Why did you a

with his young American wife, divorce, or something of the sort. A very promine

ard firmly, "you must

please u

visit here simply in order to-to take him out of himself for a while. It has be

him?" I queried, resorting t

he court had granted him the custody of the child. That's what makes it so terrible. If she is caught anywhere in Europe-well, I don't know what may happen to her. It is just such silly

had myself pret

ne one among her multitude of sins. I take it, of course, t

shreds, delicately and with finesse, to be sure, but none

because her father has a trunkful of millions," said Elsie, concluding a rather pe

thrift foreigners has a title for s

rried," said his wife. "I don't believe it was hi

o her estate. She was a drag, a stone about his neck. It was like putting one's

al standing in New

lly. "She was in the smartest se

girls fall short of being all that is required over here.

they both sa

way it sou

we are a little hard on the poor

then, is that she was

nd his

ith. "She made a bid for him and got him, and my conte

full?" I asked, w

do you

he get h

aid Elsie, with dignity. "Mr. Pless is a poor man I've heard.

ed the trunk you speak of and hid the key. You don't know women as well as I do, Mr. Smart. Both of these charming ladies professed

We stood by her until she disobeyed the mandate-or whatever you ca

gathered that all was not rosy in the life of the

. Pless, but of course I knew that I was entertaining under my roof, by the most extraordinary coincidence, the Count and Coun

wing. I was all the more determined now to shield her as far as it la

ette over the railing and

me face-and the two ladies started guiltily. The attack on his part was particularly direct when one stops to consider that t

less," said I with so much directness that I felt Mrs. Billy Smith's a

ce, Mr. Smart," said he, wit

" added Billy Smith, o

?" asked Mr. Pless, w

" said Els

was growing accustomed to the over-riding process, s

a few steps to say to me: "We'll explore the castle to-morrow, Mr. Smart, if it's just the same to you." He spoke with a very slight accent and in a pec

id I, affect

here not so many years ago.

spent his honeymoon here, old man. It was the girls' idea to bring him here to

gnificantly. Smith grinned approvingly. Be

ot of money

ion by asking how I write my books, where I get my plots, and all the rest of the questions that have become so hatefully unanswerable, ending up by blandly enquiring wha

have read them, as everybody did, thereby supplying him with the chance to triumphantly say that he'd be hanged if he'd ever heard of any one of t

growth of American dentistry in European capitals, the way one has his nails manicured in Germany, the upset price of hot-house strawberries, the relative merit of French and English bulls, the continued progress of the weather and sundry other topics of simil

d work out. It was absolutely necessary for the Countess to know that her ex-husband was in the castle. I would have to manage in

orst of all, would she reveal an uncomfortable spirit of bravado, rashly casting discretion to the winds in order to show him that she was not the timid, beaten coward he might suspect her of being? She had once said to me that she loat

s hands in the pockets and taking them out again almost immediately, letting questions go by unanswered, and all such, are action

nine-sixteen to the second) with polite conviction in his

ses the psychological moment for calli

said I, immensely reli

five or six very i

hand. "Run along and get 'em off," he said.

patience at every other landing and luridly berating the drafts that swept the passages. Mr. Poopendyke stood guard below at the padlocked d

a pile of rugs with Britton as a bed-fellow, an omission which gave Britton the opportunity to anticipate him by almost giving notice that very

was a most unseemly hour for calling on a young, beautiful and unprotecte

sound reverberated through the empty halls with a sickening clatter, I

French maid p

ess that I must

home, m'sieur," sa

" I gasped. "

has gone

e. Present my compliments and ask her to ge

at she knows the Count is here, and will yo

's here? Who brough

it with dejeuner, again with diner, an

In that case, I-I sha'n't disturb

severely rep

m'sieur. In that drea

nr

I mean the news-the n

afraid. Has she not the good, brave m'sieur to-what you call it-to shoulder all the worry, no? She is not a

ha

ie Louise Antoinette, sa

ur! It is I w

o Helene Marie Louise Antoinette in an unintentionally complimentary whisper, took myself off down

ld have set about to find out the true names of the guests beneath his roof. The task would have been a simple one,

s of stern conversation with Elsie Hazzard would enlighten me on all the essential points; perhaps half an hour would bring Poopendyke to terms; a half a day might be required in the brow-beating of the frail Countess. With the Schmicks, there was no hope. But why

nto my side of the castle with gratifying stealthiness, "you will

per, and for the life of me I couldn't determine what co

resented a sharp criticism coming from the latter, and they were waging a verbal battle in what I took to be five or six different tongues, none of which appeared to bear the slight

e still discussing his defection in subdued tones-with the exception of the irate baron-when he re-entered the roo

flesh and blood mediums here who roam about in white night dres

iscretion had the C

you, Mr. Pless," I said, w

insolence! He