A Fool and His Money

other a dozen times or more, following mental lapses, and then gave it up. My ideas failed in consecutiveness, and when I did succeed in hitching

t this cool-headed, rather self-centred young woman at the top of my castle. To me, it was something of a lark; to him, a tragedy. He takes everything seriously, so much so in fact that he gets o

etting," he proclaimed, trying to focus his

e law, would you?" I demanded crossly. "P

"That's what worri

I loftily,

lent for a

onely and spooky away

ertently betraying my

d?" I demanded,

gloomily; "a

mp

nce. Then: "I wonder i

, with wonderful di

mes

ve been jesting. I've never cared for a man cook myself. I don't like to

ter broiled ham in my

his: What became of the grouse you ordered for dinner, sir

ts," said I, peevishly. I think that remark silen

e altar of social ambition. She had said that her father was opposed to the match from the beginning. Then why, in the name of heaven, wasn't he man enough to put a stop to i

table gowns, hats, veils and parasols, and I certainly could not have missed seeing her, even with half an eye. But for the life of me, I couldn't connect her with any of the much-talked-of international marriages that came to mind as I lay there going over the meagre assortment I was able to recall. I went to sleep wondering whether Poopendyk

a furniture dealer. I would have to buy at least six new beds and everything else with which to comfortably equip as many bed-chambers, it being a foregone conclusion that not even the husbands and wives would condescend to "double up" to oblige me. The expe

ing to the Countess's apartments. She opened

ting a houseful of guests in a day or two," I sai

dismay. "Oh, dear! Ca

to stand the workmen banging around al

in the

married and qualifie

me out," she said ruefully.

padlocks for the doors downstairs and you'll be

all night like a sick cat, holding my hand over Rosemary's mo

nly, "you should not forget that these

st," she argued. "I

ng your own way." She nodded her head. "Well, I am afraid you'l

an to be very firm and

o see things fr

words. For the last three years I've been commanded to see things

't put me in the same b

or a moment longer, and then a slow

promised, and l

and I will be as still as a mouse all the time they're here. But you must promise to c

ely," I sai

ce more about getting yourself

rty," I assured her. "They c

s," she said, deliberate

es are alway

rk concerning her presence in the abandoned east wing; and of what we were pleased to allude to as "separate main

he had most engagingly reduced me to a state of subjection in the matter of three or four moot questions that

t bother about that, Mr.

u were marrie

d the usual mob outside, all fighting for a glimpse of me in my wedding shroud, and for a chance to see a real Hungarian n

d condition of my brain. I was thinki

English. Don't you remember that the police closed the streets in the neighbourhood of the church and wouldn't let people spoil everything by go

should let in ligh

?" she cried impatiently. She

revolt. "But I make it a point n

a spot of red leaping to he

hat I put marriages of that char

staring at me wit

im, and he was too old to have any for you. The whole hateful business therefore resolved itself into a case of give and take-and he took everything. He took you and your father's millions and now you are both back where you began. Some one deliberately committed a crime, and as it wasn't you or the Count, who levied his legitimate toll,-it must have been the person who planned the cons

crazy diatribe,-of which I was already beginning to feel heartily asham

r. It seemed to me she

o me out of this transa

unt of dignity was acqu

ophisticated girl you

oman, Mr

t would make a real countess of you. What rot! You are a simple, lovable American girl and that's all there ever can be to it. To the end of your days you will be an American. It is not within the powers of a scape-grace count to put you or any other American girl on a plane with the women who are born countesses, or duchesses, or anything of the sort. I don't say that you suffer by comparison with these

measuring me with somewhat incredulous

o agree with you, M

ll people, should be able to testify

ly. "Still you are pretty much o

n't too late," I cried, abject once more. (I

long as we are thrown into contact with each other. If you choose to tell t

f you for the simple reason that I'd be sp

ay," she said, and her sh

cowardly, despicable

rhaps I shall see things a little more clearly. To be perfectly honest with you, I went into

again will I get into a mess that is so hard to get out of. I can say th

die a bachelor," s

ce had been declared for the time being at least. "And now let us talk sense.

nd o

ustice. I couldn't go to sleep for hours last

of me I couldn't help feeling elated

y. The fight for poor little Rosemary is destined to fill columns and columns in the newspapers of the two continents for

yed by the prospect of

refuse to back out at

st assured that I sh

night that the safest

o-to get ou

riedly: "Can't you go awa

gasped. "Would you tur

ts anyth

f mind and your-your safety," she cr

do what little I can to shield yo

ake this occasion to repeat that I've never seen any one in all my life so p

e a rapping on the door.

ief. "We keep a fire going in the grate all day long. You've no

the scuttle when he saw me

," said she serenely. "He

nd moved with greater celerity in making his escape from the room than I had ever known him to exercise before. Somehow I b

ut of these." I liked the way she held the match for me, and then flicked i

id that I didn't see how any man, even a count could help a

ailed to make violent love to me, and with the Count's permission at that. You must not look so shocked. I man

d Lo

We quarrelled bitterly when I declared that either he or I would have to leave the house-forever. I don't mind co

ll these unprincipled scoundrels came over me,

d began to pace the floor, distractedly beating her clinched

otions supposed to exist in the breast of every high-minded woman. And now I was witness to the pain she suffered, now I heard her cry out against the thing that had hurt her so pitilessly. I turned my hea

ng myself fiercely for all of them. What a stupid, vainglorious ass I was, not to have divined something

eliberately returned to the fireplace, where I noisily shuffled a fresh supply of coals into the grate. It would be heartless, even unmannerly, to leave her without letting her know that I was heartily ashamed of myself and comp

ely. I experienced the sharp joy of relaxation. Her dainty lace handkerchief found employment. First she would dab it cautiously in one eye, then the other, after which she would scrutinise its crumpled surfac

on? What in heaven's name was I to do if she took it into her pretty head to do such a thing as that? Involuntarily I shot a quick l

ing upward through the w

tracks and stared at h

efying crea

d to find no trace of departed tears. Her cheek was as smooth and creamy white as it had been before the deluge. Her eyelids we

above and to the right of us. She held in her arms the pink-hooded, pink-coated Rosemary, made snug against the chill winds of her lofty par

lovely?" cried m

helor can see that

I am positive I should like to kiss those red little cheeks, which is say

ly. "It is extremely unhealthy and-middle-class. Still," seein

" said I

d not intend to refer to the recent

to me at once. A most embarrassing thing happened. On seeing me she held out her chubby arms

it is an ill-mannered, poorly-trained servant. A grinning nurse-maid is the worst of all. I may be super-sensitive and crotchety about such things, but I can see no excuse for

e evidently thinks I look like the C

are a very, very nice little girl the kind gentleman will kiss you on the other cheek some day. She calls every man she meets da-da," explained the radiant young mother. "She's awfully European i

her more crestfal

her, Mr. Smart? She's

you," I crie

t, never fear," she sai

nurse's arms. "W

h conviction. I noticed this time

lack nose and strolled imposingly into the room. He proceeded to

opened her ey

"you must be very lik

rowls at any

*

if he could call to mind a marriage in New York societ

d and appeared to

sir, I-I-

y news," I explained; "and you are a great han

member this particular marriage very cle

new footman stared. "Splendid!

ooked me stead

ut I can't do it. I pr

e dragged out of me