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Cy Whittaker's Place

Chapter 4 BAILEY BANGS'S EXPERIMENT

Word Count: 5401    |    Released on: 29/11/2017

But even Lem must finish sometime or other and, late in July, the Cy Whittaker place was ready for occupancy. The pictures were in their places on the walls, th

t the perfect boarding house would shelter him no

t you've done it-all but the old folks themselves. You can't raise them up, Cy; money won't do that. And you can't live in this great house all alone. Who's goin' to cook

pe from his lips, stared blank

did mention it, but I've been so busy gettin' th

rious. Asaph and Bailey Bangs racked their brains and offered numero

epin' house along of Tobias, him that was her husband. But, if you do hire her, don't let Ketury know I hinted at it,

t havin' it passed to me three times a day, same as I've had it at your house, is enough; I don't hanker to have it warmed over between meals. If

ere's Ang

t. "Stop your jokin', Baile

t jokin

he papers call 'unconscious humor.' I'll give in that Angie is about as serious a matter as I can think of withou

ll the bill. The conference broke up without arriving at a decis

to think over. Cy's a restless critter; been cruisin' hither and yon all his life. I'm sort of scared that he'll get tired of Bayport

el

such woman as that was to be found for the job

what are you

! Then he'd be contented to settle down to hom

ention of a woman to some of you old baches don't make your heads soften up like a jelly

s now, I s

t married! What do you know about m

in't! You k

keep quiet about such

ike a settin' hen. Ev

the middle o

demanded his co

comf'table for Whit. Has Heman said anything about the harbor app

pson and a very few chosen lieutenants and intimates he had said that he hoped to get it; that was all. This was a disquieting change of attitude, for, at the beginning of the te

unacy, pure and simple. He had liked and admired his friend "Whit" in the old days, when the latter led them into all sorts of boyish scrapes; now he regarded him with a liking that was close to worship. The captain was so jolly and outspoken; so brave and independent-witness his crossing o

hing. He could spin yarns that beat the serial stories in the patent inside of the Bayport Breeze all hollow. Bailey had figured that, when the "fixin' over" was ended, the Cy Whittaker place would be for him a delightful haven of refuge, where he could put

bring a wife into this paradise; not a paid domestic who could be silenced, or discharge

rous attractions of any kind. Each morning, after breakfast, he ran over the list with the captain, taking care that Asaph

got other things on my mind. How do I know who all these w

er, Cy. You'll move in Monday

I must see this morning. There'

ekeeper, Cy!

lf, then. You kn

? Do you mean you'll

so. Run along, th

scratched his head. A weighty res

home. The farewells at the perfect boarding house were affecting. Mrs. Tripp said that she had spoken to the Reverend Mr. D

y sayin' so. I only wish there was more like you," with a significant glance at her husband. As

and carried into the bedroom on the first floor, the room which had been Captain Cy's so long

r comes on it, but I cal'late I'm s'posed to be there. Be more talk th

half hour later, "Well, I guess that's a good idea, till you can find the ri

uggestions as a pine grove is of woodticks. He started to say somethin' about it

l'lates to get him i

ess he was round to pick at. There he com

trolled int

ons's on an errand and I thought I'd stop in

with it! It won't keep

comin' along?" he asked. "Seems to me I did. Yes; well, if I ain't mis

ody fo

e, and when you says to me: 'Bailey, you get me a

dditt

t who? Got what? Bailey Ban

Captain Cy. "Bailey, w

s," with a scornful wink at Asaph, "but if what I hear's true she can keep house. Anyhow she's kept one for forty odd year. Her name's

Tidditt was too much su

ome. Among 'em was this Beasley one. I asked some more questions and, the answers bein' satisfactory to ME, though they might not be to some folks-" another derisive wink at Asaph-"I set down and wrote her, tellin' what you'd pay, Cy, what she'd

lerk slapp

cousin in Trumet. Debby Beasley! Aunt Debby, they call her

said he wanted a YOUNG woman-a frivolous, giddy critter, always rigg

odfrey-scissors! she's deefer 'n one of them cast-iron Newfoundlands in Heman's yard! Do you m

dn't I, Whit? You told me you'd le

. "Why, to be honest, Bailey, I believe I did," he admitted.

at it. Fact is, I'd call it an advantage, but you folks seem to be hard to please. I ruther imagined you'd thank me for gettin'

's that got to do with it? Cy ain

e helped. Bailey says he shipped her for a month's trial, and here comes the depot wagon no

not to say scraggy, female, wearing a black, beflowered bonnet and a black go

he side door of the Whittaker house. Dan'l Webster came to

be!" he

rved the la

epeated Gabe, r

See

ettin' the croup from howlin'

he passenger was expected to alight. She seemed to understand, for she opened

y!" he said. "Glad to see

hers were covered, as far as

ker?" she said, in a shril

stened to

e roared. "I'm Bailey Bangs,

ey

chuckled. Bailey co

n," he whooped. "

spective employer and tapp

e housekeeper. "I don't kno

en demanded her trunk and carpet bag. The grinning Lumley bore them into the h

ain't she?" he said reluctantly

ptain

lin' chap, Bailey, I'll say that for yo

whistle she'll miss Judgment Day. I'll stop into Simmons's on my way al

nly failing. In fact she was altogether a failure, so far as her housekeeping was concerned. She could cook, after a fashi

, dropping in one evening after supper.

ugal mind.' She don't intend to waste anything. Last Thursday I spunked up courage enough to yell for salt fish and potatoes-fixed up with pork scraps, you know, same's we used to have when I was a boy. We had 'em all right, and if beans of a Saturday hadn't

?" inquired

so dirty she has to begin again. Consequently the dust is so thick in the rest of the house that I can see my tracks. If

words of a gospel hymn sung in a tre

like a high-toned restaur

her sing so ev

stand her deefness, because that's an af

ging, entered the room and

he said, smiling genially. "Ni

h no

about her family troubles. Preaches about her niece out West, and how set the niece and the rest of the Western relations are to hav

feet wet. Picks out what I ought to wear so's I won't get cold. She'll adopt me pretty soon. Oh, it'

t?" inquired

n fires. T'other day Angie Phinney called and I turned Debby loose on her. I didn't believe anything could wear

bserved that she was glad there was so little fog, because fog was hard for folks with "neuralgy pains." Her brother's wife's cousin had "neuralgy" for years, and she described

own, 'cause she's a self-winder, guaranteed to keep goin' for a year. Go

oin'?" asked

tt! Come on, Ase!" And the captain, seizing his friend by t

e astonished town clerk. "Wh

on I get is bein' able to give my opinion of her and the grub without hurtin' her feelin's. If I called her a wooden-h

you give her he

when her m

h. I'd heave her overboa

Cy shook

it is that she don't really need to work out. She's got some money of her own, owns cranberry swamps and I don't know what all. Says she

tell Bailey what I

eels dreadfully because she's so deef. Only yesterday he asked me if I believed there was anything made that would fix her up and make it more comfortable for me. I could have

his head's goin' to seed. I'll keep

Bayport. If any of the folks ask you how I like my new housekeepe

a grand success. Only Captain Cy and Asaph knew the whole truth, and Mr. Bangs a part. That part, Deborah's deafness, troubled him not a little and he th

ading the Breeze. The captain urged his friend to remain and have supper. "We've run out of beans, Ase," he explained,

o a section of the Breeze. While they we

's been on a cruise down town somewheres. Be a lot o

clerk l

I saw walkin' with Bailey a spell ago. I thought

serious. Hope Ketury didn't see

singing "Beulah Land," but her tone was more subd

ttin' along?"

ver. She's no better, thank you,

to tell her sh

turned to his paper and d

to be bounced? Deefness

'tis, mine ought to be developin' fast

asn't sailed in and set down with us. Old c

wl, as his indignation grew. If Mrs. Beasley's ears had been ordinary ones she might hav

r! The idea! Good to herself, ain't she! Godf

vin' herself to death. You see, I don't want to make the old critter cry, nor I don't want her to get mad. Judgin' by the way she used to co

l, hey?

om his and threw the door wide open. Behind it crouched Mrs. Deborah Beasley. Her eyes snapped behind her spectacles, her lean fo

"You WILL? Well, I don't want none of your miser'ble money! Land knows how you made it, anyhow, and I wouldn't soil m

, gazing open-mouthed at the trumpet, stirred in his chair.

OU do! I-I wouldn't have you clerk for a hen house! I'm an old chromo, be I? Yes! that's nice talk, ain't it, to a woman old enough to be-that is-

me," observed Captain Cy dryly. "I w

torrent in his direction. The captain bore it for a w

your things as soon as you want to. I made up my mind the first day you come that you and me wouldn't cruise together long, and this only shortens the trip by a week or so. I'll pay you for this month and for the next, and I guess, when you come to

ay. But there was that in her late employer's manner which caused her to forbear. Sh

Mr. Tidditt, over and over

when Bailey Bangs entered the ho

ctantly. "Did they help h

ph, but Captain Cy si

captain; "somethin

twould. She can hear

it's safe to

n't hear? How about ear trumpets?' And Ed wrote that an ear trumpet would probably help some, but why didn't I try a pair of them patent fixin's that are made to put inside deef people's ears? He'd known of cases where they helped a lot. So I sent for a pair, and

t into a vivid description of the "surprise." Bailey w

the trumpet. "I do declare I'm awful sorry! if you'd only told me she was n

give you. 'Twas worth it all to see Asaph's face when Marm Beasley was complimentin' him. Ha! ha! Oh, dear me! I've laughed til

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