Homo Sum -- Volume 02

r him and did not stir; he held his breath, and painfully suppressed even

is to become of him when I am dead, and if he turns from the Lord and seeks the pleasures of the world, my heart sickens. I meant it for the best when I brought him with me up to the Holy Mountain, but that was not the only motive-it seemed to me too hard to part altogether from the child. My God! the young of brutes are secure of their mother's faithful love, and his never asked for him when she fled

, "and the rest will be sure to come; he loves you and wi

man sadly. "And what weapons has

said Paulus soothingly. "There is no smooth road from

r to earn the wretched experience of life for his son, or to a teacher for his pupil.

. "For Hermas has been started on the road wh

r, and I have never felt impelled to ask you what you could recall to mind about your youth, and how you were led to grace. I learnt by accident that you were an Alexandrian, and had been a heathen, and had suffered much for the faith, and with t

e old man from us, and believe we have shaken ourselves free, when lo! it is there again and greets us

our early life and how you became a Christian. When two men have journeyed by the same road, and t

erophilus. Besides that, I know for certain very little of my youth, for as I have already told you, I have long since

Plato," said Steph

Paulus. "I used to know it well, and I have often thoug

ce of an angel," said Stephanus somewhat drily. "He

I did indeed go through the whole educational

ometry, and Astrono

er for learning. In the school of Rhetoric I remained far behind my fellows, and if Plato was

. "Can it be that you were the son of that rich Herophilus, wh

e-boats on Lake Mareotis belonged to him. His profits on the manufacture of papyrus might have maintained a cityfull of poor. But we needed our revenues for other things. Our Cyraenian horses stood in marble stalls, and the great hall, in which my father's friends were wont to meet, was like a temple. But you see

n mother the best of mothe

as unknown to him, and though no one ever knew of his troubling himself particularly to study, he nevertheless was master of many departments of learning. There were but two things in which I could beat him-in music, and in all athletic exercises; while he was studying and disputing I was winning garlands in the palaestra. But at that time the best master of rhetoric and argument was the best man, and my father, who himself could shine in the senate as an ardent and elegant orator, looked upon me as a half idiotic ne'er-do- weel, until one clay a learned client of our house presented him with a pebble on

, "and the memory of it all often disturbs me. Did yo

tieth year, the temptations of the world torment me less often. Only I must keep out of the way

or women-the sea yonder or the mountain here, without ever thinking of Alexandria, but only of sacred thi

bearded lips, exclaiming, "At the shop of the fat cook-Philemon-in the street of Herakleotis." But he broke off, and cried with an i

Stephanus; "if you love m

mple, and now in another, according to the needs of the moment; my father took part in the high festivals, but he laughed at the belief of the multitude, and my brother talked of the 'Primaeval Unity,' and dealt with all sorts of demons, and magic formulas. He accepted the doctrine of Iamblichus, Ablavius, and the other Neoplatonic philosophers, which to my poor understanding seemed either superhumanly profound or else debasingly foolish; nevertheless my memory retains many of his sayings, which I have learned to understand here in my loneliness. It is vain to seek reason outside ourselves; the highest to which we can attain is for reason to behold itself in us! As often as the world sinks in

o my brother the manufactories and the management of the business, nay even the house in the city, though, as the elder brother, I had a right to it, and I took in exchange the land near the Kanopic gate, and filled the stables there with splendid horses, and the lofts with not less n

do with my conversion, you will ask. But listen a while. Whe

ian girl Archidike had made ready a feast for us in her ho

ly enough. Between some of my friends, and certain of the young officers of Roman patrician families, there had been a good deal of rough ban

after their fashion, and at last they came to insulting w

of a side street, and fell upon us with naked weapons. The moon was high in the heavens, and I could recognize some of our adversaries. I threw myself on a tall tribune, throttled him, and, as he fell, I

asked S

heavy unconsciousness increased; for weeks I lay in that state, for I was hacked like sausage-meat; I had twelve wounds,

choose then to be the m

my quails. In their last fight my best cock had severely handled handsome Nikander's, and yet he wanted to dispute the stakes with me, but I would assert my rights! At least the quails should fight again, and if Nikander should refuse I wou

with dignity, but yet with friendliness, and rolled up a scroll which he had been reading, I would have called

ce of land. During seed-time one of them, a fine old man with long white hair, had been ill, and he had not been able to help in the harvest either; 'and now they want to withhold his portion of the corn,' thought I; but it was quite otherwise. The two men who were in health had taken a

agacious and kindly face and asked the old man, 'Did you pr

replied

,' the judge decided, 'and the third part o

hook hands, and in a few minutes th

he one and the other touched my heart. I went to sleep again, and when I awoke refreshed the next morning the judge came up to me an

judge?" ask

if I were their dearest brother. It was not till I grew stronger that they showed me the cross and the crown of thorns of Him who for my sake also had taken upon Him such far more cruel suffering than mine, and they

essed existence; after this life I now learned to look forward to eternity.

d already moved into my country-house with her husband, the prefect. I willingly left her there, and

phyry quarries; but every pain was dear to me, for it seemed to bring me nearer to the goal of my longings, and if I find ought to complain of up here on the Holy Mountain,

outly kissing Paulus' sheep- skin; but Pau

his life throws a rock in my way to the life of the blessed.

o had come to wish his father good-morning before he went d