Past And Present

san

ated and embarrassed, that you wish y

at's what the entire student body likes to inform me. Let me catch you up on what I m

urs ea

school?" My older sister Tarra a

is shoes. To my dismay, this is about the only type of clothing that I have left that fits me. I slouch my shoulders and lo

r alone and eat your dam

new manicure on display. "Hey, I'm just tryin

hrow herself in front of me to protect me from the flames. So without a shadow

may want to reconsider your outfit choices. Kids are punks and if you give them more and more f

he table. Tarra just doesn't understand. She's never had a problem with being ov

l eyes and the most perfect heart-shaped lips. The guys pretty much fall at her feet. As for m

am. I'm 5'2'' and I weigh two-hundred and fifty pounds. I got our mother's height and dark brown eyes, and dad's thin lips. The only physical trait Tarra and I have in common

l flat boa

," I say under my breath, gestu

vin

specimen he i

the angel himself. Crayvin is a senior and he's your typical star linebacker in football, with an outgoing personality that makes him

e girls, but the guy doesn't even know I exist. I stood by him once in gym class, his tall perfectly sculpted body towered over me; even h

im. Crayvin's a tool," Tarra says with dis

st that he has had for as long as I can remember. "It's seven forty-fi

k back over to my dad to kiss him on the cheek as he

We have always been his world and vice versa. When Mom passed, his hard exterior b

cker in his eyes that I look forward to seeing every morning. That flicker reveals the goodness and war

reath, then walk up the concrete steps with my hand tightly gripped around the black handrail and my head hung. Each morning starts the same and each

books from my locker before I'm late. I almost reach my locker when I trip over my own feet, landing belly down on

me up from the ground. I look up to see who my rescu

ext shower tonight; but I'll have no problem reliving the f

I actually speak to the guy that consumes my thou

eving my ears. His beautifully soft, yet deep voice is harmonizing and for once it's directed at m

clicks open and I grab my book before I begin walking to chemistry; with Crayvin alongside me. As if my heart couldn't beat any faster, my breath falters as I feel his hand rest against my up

on about whatever he was talking about has been extremely difficult. My thoughts have indefinitel

nd I pretend to rub my chin against my shoulder. My pencil falls from my hand while turning back around. Leaning down to

ing me the w

ll morning. Since seniors and freshmen share the same lunch hour, I usually sat with my sister every day. I grab a

is what they

ckering behind me. "Is Miss Piggy your favorite ice cream flavor, or is that the n

y. Knowing what they are trying to do, I turn

ullying as an excuse for my excessive appetite. I keep saying that I'm going to start working out with Tarr

if no one belie

I hear one of them say. My fingers grip the tray harder at the edges as I slo

outfit has to consist of elastic bands," the other girl s

e a step forward when I hear another comment from behind me, "I think the nickname Crayvin picked is much better. Miss P

.vin,"

of the brown gooey stuff on my tray. I peel my face from the tray and stand up, noticing that a circle of students has formed around me. The laughter rippled thr

ment I'm receiving. She comes to my side and kicks t

arra goes to rub my back and a rustling noise emits from the back of my sweatshirt. I feel her peel something off

his?" Tarr

but all eyes f

ins radiate through my body, as if I got stuck in a barbed-wire fence, the wires cutting through me and strangling

usly as he stands straight up, foldin

ra begins to question him. I look up at him, wondering the same thing, and I wish

dishes she probably devours. Almost like she wants to eat me. It's creepy," he scoffs. As I try to drain o

te nickname. It's better than Oompa Loompa or chubby bunny." The entire circle of students begins la

like they want to fall out of me. My sister was right; Crayvin is

and horns to match his r

Let's get out of here, I'll take you home

ty and crumbled heart on the ground before Crayvin. Some students mov

he fuck

his face. Usually, this would have been a fantasy. To see the guy I liked covered in ch

he was. He's a player, he has probably slept with half of the girls in that circle. He's self-absorbed, insensitive, and after today, ev

earned that not only was my crush a monster in disguise, but I also realized I need to c

to no chance of changing it. I can't continue to be this big punching bag and be too soft to stand up for myself

face nearer to the mirror, I assume a look of pensive bitterness as my fists curl tightly at my sides. Tears full of shame and disappointment fall from my eyes, cascading down my cheeks, and blur my vision enoug

wn battles. To fight as she did. Like my m

so

di