In the Sweet Dry and Dry

. All about them lay fields and orchards which had been torn and uprooted as though by som

Y DRINKIN

s, 1

ren,

BETWEEN HERE AN

usly, the wretched wanderers drank the water in silence, b

bulky man in a grotesque garb of dirty lavender quilting. A matted whisk of coarse beard drooped from his chin, but his blue eyes burned br

er humility as a Palm Beach suit gone wrong. This particular vestment was spotted with ink, with mud, with fruit-juices, with every kind of stain; it was punctured with perforations that might have been due to fallen toba

suspected, were no other than Theodolinda Chuf

nterprise that could be suspected of complicity in the matter of fermentation. Not only had the countryside been laid waste, but the printing press had been abolished and all publishing trades were now a thing of the past. This, of course, had thrown Dunraven Bleak out of a job. He had retrieved his

ade it possible for them, in a furtive way, to give their little entertainments. Their method was, on reaching a village where

ed Arts, Folklore Games and Conjuring Tricks Such as The Drinking of Healths, Toasts, Nosepainting, The Lifted Elbow, Let's Match F

Through the Rye on a jew's-harp. This, his sole musical accomplishment, was exceedingly distasteful to him:

and a tumbler from his knapsack, and introduce Theodolinda for an alcoholic trance. It was found that the public entered into the spirit of these seances with great gusto, and often the collection taken up was gratifying

hade, the Decanterbury Pilgrims halted to rest. Quimbleton helped Th

think, dear, that if I set up the table you could give

with the soul of Wurzburger at least a dozen times. Then, as you know, I have put Mr. Bleak in touch with a julep six or seven times. All th

thinking how agreeable a psychical seidel of dark beer would be just now. You are o

ing her back from these states of suspended sobriety. You know, if we crowd these phantasms of the grape upon her too fast, she might pass over altogether, and stay behind the bar for

Quimbleton, raising his

mountebank, but mountebanks don't pay much interest. I'd rather be a safe deposi

ng as I get the drams," said

chical millinery being draped about for Miss Chuff or myself. And look at the children! They're simply in rags. If you really loved Miss Chuff I should think you'd be ashamed to use her as a spiritual

and turned a ghast

te true,"

t Miss Chuff had

ntly, "I believe I fee

g! I think I see some troops in the distance. Quick, try to c

ull out a little photograph of her father from some secret hiding place,

oke with angu

s monkey business-what we might call this gorilla warfare-must stop. We will only land in fro

uraged to comment, but Th

"your ideas are always

ted on its six-inch legs by the roadside. His tired eyes shone anew with characteristic

s. One fact, I think I may say, is plain. The jig is up, or (more literally), the jag is up. I can see now that alcohol will never be

ng a little applause, and Theodolinda

dled eye h

curacy, for the instruction of posterity, some exact record must be kept of the influence of alcohol upon the human soul. How can this be preserved? Not in bo

Souse. In his little bar, served by austere attendants, he will be kept in a state of gentle exhilaration. Nothing gross, nothing unseemly, I insist! In that state of sweetly glowing mind and heart, in that ineffable blossoming of all the nobler qualities of human dignity, this priest of alcohol will represent and perpetuate th

s whole

less int

oice must fall upon one qualified, confirmed, consecrated to this end. This deeply significant office must be conferred by the people themselves. It must be conferred by popular election. Candidates must be nominated, must stump the country explaining their qualifica

s remarkable suggestion. It is only fair to say that Mr. Bleak's face had at first lighte

eel that you would be far more competent for this

t that owing to my relation with Miss Chuff I shall happily be pre

sperity, "is to become of me and the children if

beral salary for his family expenses; you and your delightful children would be maintained at the public expense in a suitable bu

accomplished? How would you ever get such a scheme accepted by Bishop Chuff, who will never forgive you for k

-box orator. At any rate, a man who stands upon a soap-box is neare

sparkled with the

nd talk things over with him. He doesn't know what straits we're in, and maybe we can bring him to te

. But anyway, that's a bonny scheme. We'll grant him a truce. Bleak, you're a newspap

d wanly at

hat's your idea, Miss Chuff? We must h

ed gayly. "We'll talk i

, who had fallen asleep, and cl

d. "I can imagine what my poor mother would say about it if she were living. She came of fine ol

saddle and the pilgrims began to move, "I know of a great deal of good old K