War of the heart ❤️

journey home to the girl patiently waiting for him in his modest little bungalow sitting perched on the hill. The professor had called on him a

nfinite hallways. While passing by the rows of lockers and shuffling past classmates, he heard the quiet pa

. The kid who fou

illed more tha

decorated by t

Stalingrad because

acific and over the frozen empty Russian steppes. No one could relate to what was felt between him and her. They were a world apart from all the others in this school, in this town. He would rather they all left him be so he could c

here they stood now, and the damning quest

ussia forever, or if I was a citizen of your

one word that seemed to sum up everything he felt towards that humble girl waiting for him at home. He thought it was simply a way to co

is very life in a land that was not his. She was the one person who he felt could

a was spoken,

d and beleaguered by past

need of a companio

joked of falling in l

n. He was wracked by depression at the mere mentioning of her name since he left her homeland, as if a part of his own heart had been cut out and left to rot in the unforgiving sun. He

st on what this aching pain was in his heart. He

want her gone fr

a simple close friend seemed to make his heart waver. Why? It was a situation that any other boy would jump at without hesitation or second thought; what boy di

tlefields of his subconscious, a voice br

y P

e from, and found that it was from

om Russia for gaining a friend out of a girl, and Peter was always quick to mark him with the sign of hypocrisy for his feeling for a significant other. Walter's greatest dream was to be a soldier in the army,

ring soul with a demeanor to match. He was a supportive friend to Peter,

h a tired smile. "What ca

left over, and I'd like it if you

from a soldier returned from the front rather than the actual soldier himself. But he knew Walter better than that; he was a friend wh

me by to

he was able to lure th

bring Tanya, too. Peggy w

alt. She

school building and down the long concrete steps to the courtyard facing the street that would eventually lead him ho

Pet

way to be with him when he needed it. The friend that seemed to stand out to him as the oth

. What can I

ed foot back and forth, sifting the loose

he time, that is...you could sto

nt to his thoughts, his barrier to others even extending to one of his closer friends. His solitude and isolation was something that had bothered her gre

Jane. I'd

ned at hi

can come. Finally I have so

t of having tea. Fitting for

ave?" he asked casually as

ish Breakfast. Whic

fast, but I'll

imilar to what he had with Tanya now, but at the same time, Jane and Peter were far more distant. They had gone together to some places such as his meditative spot on the beach and maybe they mi

d give him an opportunity to know a

bered Tanya. He had to call her to let her kno

for a bit? I just h

talk about between the two of them at home. Peter spoke in a language Jane could not understand, only making out small words such as "da" and "nyet" and "kharasho" and o

ny

much and she had a sense that she should be watching out for her, like she was an existential threat. If s

ch accusations with never even meeting the gir

ya," he concluded i

change from the slot before exit

an go

od, with Peter following Jane as she knew the way, and this would

well, Peter," Jane compl

r acquiesced, no

at his overar

ot of study and practice to master a lan

to know a thing or two. And journeying to the count

have a hard enough time with it than

ever gone

nough to help me with my

spent much of his time in the Norman countryside. He made friends of the children in a small farming town. The town was now occupied by

lding back repressed sorrow. "I stayed in a small town in Normandy, and made so

r melancholy. She was taking him to her home to make him feel ha

r, I shouldn't h

r returned. "It's mine for

. "Don't you say yourself how you shou

ng Jane's point and

er my words

every day you find someone so com

taught me, Jane. Being faithful and lo

true,

nity to learn something about his friend from across th

for a moment and turned t

back in

r pick, I

d was lush and grandiose, filled with socials and parties, brimming with lessons by personal tutors, teaching her things far greater than her mind could comprehend. She had her friends here, but what she noticed was how status had nothing to do with where she was in this school or in this town for that matter

family had a li

amilies?" Peter joked,

s they carefully trotted across the street, ev

ost of the time. You would often find me with a tutor or at a party somewhere with some other family of significance. Most of

stock, and even if his was one of the better more profitable farms, they still struggled just to get by. He lived the Spartan

like, being

ed like a dream. Chatting with friends over tea, sitting in on meetings with families, all

when the d

s and to her older brother as she left on a ship bound for New Yor

sing, and saw my brother for the l

all that ha

ter. I don't think any of us coul

at about now? How's life here diffe

ar and fashionable people in the school. She could not deny that she was near the top of the heap, and at times the life she led here was not that differ

kled. "But I suppose you could still qualify me in one of

with the popular golden crowd, and he was on the lower rungs, only appreciated among his group of

are you, my dear?" Jan

bout things like status. I just go about my business in schoo

with how well you do com

hed at the

rassed. "But I don't suppose you and the others in those high to

ity to tease Peter as th

you like to kn

would, M

dorned with decorated windows that seemed freshly painted. The house looked like it had been recently renovated, in far contrast to the aging state of his h

ne giggled as she opened the gate to her hom

me," Peter la

h arms locked to the front door. Jane searched her dress pockets for presumably the

e said, motioni

" Peter counter

ed wallpaper covered the walls right down to the moss green carpeting that went wall-to-wall. Everywhere there hung old Victorian age portraits of people unrecognizable to Peter, hark

er asked, still taking in the

into the kitchen and out of sight fr

e like this by yourself?"

rent on this house, along with some funds for food and

ou decide to

it would be a lesson in independence and self-reliance. I've gotten on fairly well,

minutes, and he felt like he was in a place he didn't belong. The dignified and austere feeling of the house gave him feelings of increased restriction and isolation, as if he was a poor orphan boy who had wandered into a

ould be far out of his league anywhere else. And yet she still reached him. She still offered her hand to him and gave him her friendship an

tea, Peter?" Jane call

sugar, if you pleas

ndering what he could say to Jane. This was not a situation he had ever encountered before; never before was he ever invited over

ane said as Pete

mple but at the same time dignified, like so much else in this house and even Jane herself. Quite a stark contrast from how Peter characterized himself in this alien environment. She set the tray down and too

r chuckled nervously as he

ank from hers and wait

miling. "Just like whe

Britain, too. No store bou

y tastes

ay and night. She came from a world of power, prestige, and privilege. He came from a world of hard labor, endurance, and loss. For a moment, he realized how fundamentally different they were. Their life experiences, their ways

ur friends a

small contract with Peter. "To answer your qu

ontext?" h

l, but Peter never wavered and communicated as much with hi

, Jane. I won't think o

exploits in Russia, they wouldn't talk about you so highly. You've

fleur-de-lis pattern surrounding the chandelier. Even the ceiling betrayed the high natur

one, with all the notoriety it's gotten me.

right thing. And I can tell you the others have nothing but respect towards you f

ut do the others real

protested. "But I suppose the

d to her, q

out often unless your friends ask you to come. And...well...honestly, y

ought was so ironic considering what he

demons on a daily basis...an

er, they are right about some of th

it seemed counterintuitive not to. He was the most solitary of his small corps of friends, even though ironically he was arguably the leader of the little crew. When he was

for it, Jane. Tha

tle demented. That restless soul always seemed in search of something far greater than she or anyone else could give him, but she still strived for him, and still ran

nd. I deserve to know

st as quickly slipped away. That was his life story. Missed opportunities. Lost chances. Hardship. Taking on the weight

se you've ever been i

to matters of the heart, was confiding in her feelings of adoration to an unknown figure. Was it her? Was it Tanya? Was it another

in on a joke uns

ing from someone who seems

question, Peter. I have never felt that feeli

f expecting this m

since I came back from Stalingrad, and I have yet to find a defin

esponded softly. "It is a new thing for a

up to get a chance with. I guess looks are deceiving. You don'

f age to be considered for a suitor, but I am sti

who he turned to for advice, in the end it was a battle that he had to win by himself. It was he who had to decide the fate of his relationship

keep on being a hermit because of it. Sorry to

we have you in our lives, I am sure eve

bring me back to you and the others.

once more. That horrible, damnable, and yet important question he could not ignore, no matter how long, and would eventually have to answer. The pain tha

I tell yo

. You can trust

lf to unleash this horrendous pain he had been f

more time together than with anyone I ever met in my travels. One day, a few days before I was scheduled to leav

t she asked?" Ja

sia forever, or if she was a citizen of my c

at to say next. She couldn't help but f

hat to say about a

choly in his heart at reawakening su

ut every day when I traveled back to Stalingrad, every day I fought in the streets and searched for her, that one little quest

avily as he dra

I never once in my 16 years of living thought that an emotion so beautiful

e that you may find some peace when it comes to

pass, the journey becomes that much harder for me. B

lp, Peter. Would yo

led at hi

nly, th

e girl who waited for him back in his small house on the hill. They said their goodbyes and laughed at shared humors as he made his way to the doo

, Ja

ouch. His struggle with himself would not end this day, and he had a long road of introspection and contemplation ahead of him before he could reach a definite conclusion,

need anything, you k

ong road and a hard-fought battle before I finally come to an answer about

nd through his ash blonde hair, his eyes still focused on the horizons and searching for the truth that drove him endlessly across the Russian steppes, over the waters of the Pacific and through t

e knew that was the only t

under

bye (i