Sandra Belloni -- Volume 4

ng stood a siege from Captain Gambier. But she loved a creature of earth too well to put up a hand for saintly honours. The passion of her life centred in devotion to her half-

hyr's experience was tolerant to the weaker vessel's young delight in power, which makes her sometimes, though sweet and merciful by nature, enunciate Hebraic severities oracularly. He smiled, and was never weary of pointing out practical refutations. Whereat she said, "Will a thousand instances change the principle?" When the brain, and especially the fine brain of a woman, first begins to act for itself, the work is of heavy labour; she finds herself plunging abroad on infinite seas, and runs speedily into the anchorage of dogmas, obfuscatory saws, and what she call

The moment she awoke to feel herself brooding over the thought of this girl, she started to join Merthyr. Solitude is pasturage for a suspicion. On her way she grew persuaded that her object was bad, and stopped; until the thought came, 'If

tated, and said in her mind, "What am I doing? an

ious that there was some poison in her love, but clinging to it

ou come up?

coming to me quickly?"

hat he had business in Lo

na let

a weakness! Is this my

med, her heart beat too forcibly for this complacent self-deceit. "No; not too well! I cannot love him too well. I am selfish. When I say that, i

guided out of t

PROPS OF SELF? THIS IS TRUE WORSHI

her now in putting away the 'props of self.' It helped her for the

D BLEEDS HUMANLY, WHAT IS HE BUT A PAGAN

ing, "as different from the Chris

d scornfully. "Like a woman" would not have flattered her. Like what did she strive to be? The picture of another self was before her-a creature calmly strong, unruffled, and a ref

sensually dead and therefore spiritually sexless. "My love is pure," she would say; as if that were the talisman which rendered it superhuman. She was under the delusion that lovers' love was a reprehensible ego

, not consecutive. It frightened and harassed without illuminating her. Now, up

e the

hange us?"

miled up to him, she w

are discerned by Welsh eyes when untroubled by any mental agitation. Brother and

aid; "I have been d

be seven or eight days since I had a letter from her-you shall see it-looking as if it had been written in the dark. She gave the address of a London hotel. I went to her, and her story was that she had come to town to

na; "then this son

ls him h

enl

d you? 'naked a

" Georgians drew to him tenderly, breathi

rite to you?" the

n, that the doctor attending him exacted a promise from her not to communicate with one of them. She was alone, in great perp

g the ground sideways

-morrow, if you w

, or

ight, laughing softly. Georgiana

their load of shame. "I wi

ow, then," rej

so needless that her over-conscious heart drummed with gratitude when she saw that he purposely spared her from one meaning look. In this mutual k

not loving one who was good for her. She went frequently to Emilia, and sat with her in the sombre hotel drawing-room. Still, frank as she was and blunt as she affected to be, she could not bring her tongue to speak of Wilfrid. If she had fancied any sensitive shuddering from the name and the subject to exist,

ity of people who ask such questions that they th

said gravely,

sked Emilia. "I like

like one th

do I like?-

are right in appreciating as much as you can see. I'll tell you why I like him;-because he is a gentleman. And you haven't got an idea how rare that animal is. Dear me! Should I be plainer to you if I called him a Christian gentleman? It's the cant of a detestable school, my child. It means just this-but why should I disturb your future faith in it? The professors mainly profess to be 'a comfort to young women,' and I suppose you will meet

rstood you at al

an, and takes longer runs with every added year. I suppo

" said

re you

not

hy

ady!" on the fall of it, and was scarc

self. Love him! You might as well ask me my age. The indiscretion would be equal, and the result the same. Love! I

lieved. "Poor la

oed, with curious eyes fix

m up. It is useless for you or any one else to love him. I know what love is now. Stop w

effect than was visible. Lady Charlotte drew out

d Emilia, jumpi

I'm here to fight for the man! He is not Orpheus; and our modern educa

N

read it to

eature. "Why will it please you if I read that he has flattered y

to imagine, then, that h

re in your heart-as sure as it beats ea

or his vanity. Now, listen. I am not, as they phrase it, in love. I am an experienced person-what is called a woman of the world. I shou

aying homage with some fervour. Emilia searched every sentence for the one word.

dy Charlotte; "that I can be a righ

milia uttered this as when w

for writing to m

rite to any wo

y fancy that's the sort of

e to me," said Emilia. Lady Charl

eat deal older," Emilia

frowned, but rubbed

arm. He has a heart, as they call it; whatever it is, it's as strong as a cable. He is a knight of the antique. He is specially guarded, however. Well, he insists that you are his friend; so you are mine, and that is why I have come to you and spoken to you. You will be sile

take it before she had replied, "I knew this before

se. "Has Wilfrid taken you

hat she had heard

"You are right when you speak of the power of lying in men. Observe-Wilfrid told me that not one l

ive him; and I should

could be of immense service to him, if at least he does not li

ery is that, if he only will keep his he

f a mighty hostile power to Lady Charlotte-a power that moved her-that challenged, and irritated, and subdued her. For she saw there something that she had not; and being of a nature leaning

ting was friendly- the form of it consisting of a n

of pity or startled self-love. She went to smooth Mr. Pole's pillow, as to a place of forgetfulness. The querulous tyrannies of the invalid relieved her; but the heavy lifting of her chest re

t; but when Mr. Powys came, she rushed up to him, and fell with a cry upon his breast, murmuring broken words that Georgian