Bleak House

used to sayto my doll when we were alone together, "Now, Dolly, I am notclever, you know very well, and you must be patient with me, like adear!" And so she used to sit propped up in a

s to myroom and say, "Oh, you dear faithful Dolly, I knew you would beexpecting me!" and then to sit down on the floor, leaning on theelbow of her great chair, and tell her all I had noticed since weparted. I had always rather a noticing way--not a quic

had ever smiled, would have been (I used to think) like anangel--but she never smiled. She was always grave and strict. Shewas so very good herself, I thought, that the badness of otherpeople made her frown all her life. I felt so different from her,even making every allowance for the differences between a child anda woman; I felt so poor, so trifling, and so far off that I nevercould

d cast me upon Dolly as the only friend with whom I felt atease. But somet

shown mymama's grave. I had never been told where it was. Yet I had neverbeen taught to pray for any relation but my godmother. I had morethan once approached this subject of my thoughts wi

was the youngest there by a good deal), butthere seemed to be some other separation between us besides that,and besides their being far more clever than I was and knowing muchmore than I did. One of them in the

e rejoicings at home on otherbirthdays, as I knew from what I heard the girls relate to oneano

t, though indeedI don't), my comprehension is quickened when my affection is. Mydisposition is very affectionate, and pe

ld have been far better, little Esther, that you hadhad no birthday, that you had never been born!"I broke out crying and sobbing, and I said, "Oh, dear godmother,tell me, pray do tell me, did Mama die on my birthday?""No," she returned. "Ask me no more, child!""Oh, do pray tell me something of her. Do now, at last, deargodmother, if you p

e forgiven her"--but her face did not relent--"the wrongshe did to me, and I say no more of it, though it was greater thanyou will ever know--than any one will ever know but I, thesufferer. For yourself, unfortunate girl, orphaned and degradedfrom the first of these evil anniversaries, pray daily that thesins of others be not visited upon your head, according to what iswritten. Forget your mother and leave all other people to forgether who will do her unhappy child that greatest kindness. Now,go!"She checked me, however, as I was about to depart from her--sofrozen as I was!--

ry as hard as ever Icould to repair the fault I had been born with (of which Iconfessedly felt guilty and yet innocent) and would strive as Igrew up to be industrious,

ry cheerful, but I cannot qui

them away now and ca

und her moredifficult of approach, though I was fervently grateful to her in myheart, than ever. I felt in the same way towards my schoolcompanions; I felt in the same way towards

as usual, my godmother looked out ofthe parlour-door and called me back. Sitting with her, I found--which was very unusual indeed--a stranger. A portly, import

dear!" He shook hands with me and asked me to take off mybonnet, looking at me all the while. When I had complied, he said,"Ah!" and afterwards "Yes!" And then, taking off his eye-glassesand folding them in a

de. Iwas reading aloud, and she was listening. I had come down at nineo'clock as I always did to read the Bible to her, and was

her hand to herhead, and crying out in an awful voice from quite another part ofthe book, "'Watch ye, therefore, lest coming suddenly he find yousleeping. And what I say unto you, I say unto all

upon her face. Many and many a time, in theday and in the night, with my head upon the pillow by her that mywhispers might be plainer to her, I kissed

e very last, and even afterward

n black with the white neckcloth reappeared. I was sent for byMrs. R

t, my child; Kengeand Carboy, Lincoln's Inn."I rep

ary's affairs, that her means die with her andthat this young lady, now her aunt is dead--""My aunt, sir!""It is really of no use carrying on a decept

o doubt heard of--the--a--Jarndyce and

at our young friend--I BEG you won't distress yourself!--neverheard o

ntof Chancery practice. In which (I would say) every difficulty,every contingency, every masterly fiction, every form of procedureknown in that court, is represented over and over again? It is acause that could not exist out of this free and great country. Isho

I was so entirelyunacquainted with the subjec

ver heard of the cau

rs. Rachael, "who is now among theSeraphim--""

ly to know what would

very proper. Now to thepoint," addressing me. "Miss Barbary, your sole relation (in factthat is, for I am

dear no!" said Mr

cted to make to Miss Barbary some two years agoand which, though rejected then, was understood to be renewableunder the lamentable circumstances that have since occurred. Now,if I avow that I represent, in Jarndyce and J

beyond everything the

tisfaction and sometimes gently beat time to his ownmusic with his head or rounded a sentence with his hand. I wasvery much impressed by him--ev

eted,where her comfort shall be secured, where her reasonable wantsshall be anticipated, where she shall be eminently qualified todischarge her duty in that station of life unto which it

ment in question without his knowledgeand concurrence. That she will faithfully apply herself to theacquisition of those accomplishments, upon the exercise of

ke time!"What the destitute subject of such an offer tried to say, I neednot repeat. What she did say, I could mo

ar asI knew) my whole life. On that day week, amply provided wit

nd ought to have made myselfenough of a favourite with her to make her sorry then. When shegave me one cold parting kiss upon my forehead, like a thaw-dropfrom the stone

e house, I looked back at it fromthe window through my tears. My godmother had left Mrs. Rachaelall the little property she possessed; and there was to be a sale;and an old hearth-rug with roses on it, which always seemed to methe first thing in the world I had ever seen, was hanging

iecesof spar, and the fields all smooth and white with last night'ssnow, and the sun, so red but yielding so little heat, and the ice,dark like metal where the skaters and sliders had brushed

ernly in her bed, of the strangeplace I was going to, of the people I should find there, and whatth

e and could only answer in awhisper, "Me, sir?" For of course I knew it must have been

" he said, t

I was crying, s

o me from the other corner of the coach, brushed one ofhis large furry cu

ou are," he said. "Don't

n, "Don't you wantto go there?""Where, sir?""Where

d to go there, s

Look glad!" sai

hisface was almost hidden in a fur cap with broad fur straps at theside of his head fastened under his chin; but I was composed ag

t being sorry

to be really afraid of him now and looked at him with thegreatest astonishment. But I thought that he ha

ich appeared tome large enough to wrap up the whole co

e that can be got formoney--sugar on the outside an inch thick, like fat on muttonchops. Here's a litt

thank you very much indeed, but Ihope you won't be offended--they are too rich for me.""Floored

udious, and shook hands with me. I must say I wasrelieved by his departure. We left him at a milestone. I oftenwalked past it afterwards, and

Miss Donny."I now understood that she introduced herself by that name, andbegged Miss Donny's pardon for my mistake, and pointed out my boxesat her request. U

rsuits has been arranged in exact accordance withthe wishes of your guardian, Mr. J

thought the cold had been toosevere

r. Jarndyce, ma'am?" I asked a

nd Carboy, of London. A very superiorgentleman, Mr. Kenge. Truly eloquent indeed. Some of h

lf, increased my confusion, and I never shall forget theuncertain and the

ile and almost to have dreamed rather than really lived my oldlife at my godmother's. Nothing could be more precise, exact, andord

verything that was taught at Greenleaf, but was very soon engagedin helping to instruct others. Although I was treated in everyother respect like the rest of the school, this single difference

confided to my care. They said Iwas so gentle, but I am sure THEY were! I often thought of theresolution I had made on my birthday to try to be industrious,contente

ay, that it would have beenbetter if I had never been born. When the day came round, itbrought me so man

ithher approval I had written such a letter. I had received a formalanswer acknowledging its receipt and saying, "We note the contentsthereof, which shall be duly communicated to our client." Afterthat I sometimes heard Miss Donny and her sister mention how

eng

aboutmyself! As if this narrative were the narrative of MY l

seeing in those around me, as it might be in alooking-glass, every stage of my own gro

is house, under anOrder of the Ct of Chy, a Ward of the Ct in this cause, for whom hewishes to secu

from Reading, on Monday morning next, to White HorseCellar, Piccadilly, Londo

so gracious in that father who had not forgotten me tohave made my orphan way so smooth and easy and to have inclined somany youthful natures towards me, that I could hardly bear it. Notthat I would have had th

them forthe last time, and when some cried, "Esther, dear, say good-bye tome here at my bedside, where you first spoke so kindly to me!" andwhen others asked me only to write their names, "With Esther'slove," and when they all surrounded me with t

er you go!" and when the ugly lame old gardener, who Ithought had hardly noticed me in all those years, came pantingafter the coach to

aving their hats and bonnets to me, and of a grey-haired gentlemanand lady whose daughter I had helped to teach and at whose house

quite bowed downin the coach by myself and said "Oh,

sob less and persuaded myself to be quiet bysaying very often, "Esther, now you really must! This WILL NOTdo!" I cheered myself up pretty well at last

hen we were ten milesoff, and when we really

ce seemed to be running intous, and we seemed to be running into every other conveyance, Ibegan t

ssed mefrom the pavement and said, "I am from Kenge and Car

removal of my boxes, I asked him whether therewas a great fire anywhere? For th

"This is a London particular."I

," said the yo

indeed!

ept their senses,until we passed into sudden quietude under an old gateway and droveon through a silent square until we came to an odd nook in acorner, where there was an entrance

nge's room--there was no one in it--andpolitely put an arm-chair for me by the fire. He then ca

thejourney, as you're going before the Chancellor. Not that

hancellor?" I said, s

rm, miss," returned th

ent"--there were biscuits and a decanter ofwine on a small table--"and look over the pa

es burning with a white flame, and looking rawand cold--that I read the words in the new

sty tables, and at the piles of writings, and at a bookcase fullof the most inexpressive-looking books that ever had anything tosay for themselves. Then I went on, thinking, thinking, thinking;and

on of the young lady who is now in theChancellor's private room, Miss Summerson," he said, "we thought itwell that you should be in attendance also. You

ame, along a passage,into a comfortable sort of room where a young lady and a younggentleman were standing near a

the fire shining upon her, such a beautiful girl! With suchrich golde

eemed to change her mind in a moment and kissed me. In short,she had such a natural, captivating, winning manner that in a few

to know that shecould confide in me and like me!

fire, talkinggaily, like a light-hearted boy. He was very young, not more thannineteen then, if quite so much, but nearly two years older thanshe was. They were both orphans and (what was very unexpected andcurious to me) had never met before tha

ame in and out, and when he did so, we couldhear a drawling sound in the distance, whi

sently we heard a bustle and a tread of feet, and Mr. Kenge sai

darling--it is so natural to menow that I can't help writing it; and there, plainly dressed inblack and sitting in an arm-chair at a table near the fire, was hislord

papers on hislordship's table, and his lordship

admired her and was interested by her even Icould see in a moment. It touched me that the home of such abeautiful young creature should be

, still turningover leaves, "is Jarndyce of Bleak Hous

me," said the

lace at present, my l

--""Hertfordshire, my lord.""Mr. Jarndyce of B

my lord," sa

pa

is present?" said the Lord C

wed and step

rd Chancellor, turni

to remind your lordship, provides asuitable companion for--""For Mr. Richard Carstone?" I thou

iss Summerson."His lordship gave me an indulgent

er before it was quite said and whispered. Hislordship, with his eyes upon his papers, listened, nodd

as she told me afterwards, whethershe had well reflected on the proposed arrangement, and if shethought she would be happy under the roof of Mr. Jarndyce of BleakHouse, and why she thought so? Presently he rose courteously andrelease

is lordship aloud. "I

glady, and the arrangement altogether seems the best of which thecircumstances admit."He dismissed us pleasantly, and we all went out,

go back for a moment to ask a question and left us in the fog, witht

T'S over! And where do we gonext, Mis

the least,

U know, my love

"Don't you?""Not

the wood, when a curious little old woman in a squeezedbonnet and carrying

s a good omen for youth, and hope, andbeauty when they find themselves in this place, and

was a ward myself. I was not mad at that time,"curtsying low and smiling between every

I have the honour toattend court regularl

velations is the Great Seal. It has beenopen a long time! Pray accept my blessing."As Ada w

h HIS documents! How does your honourableworship do?""Quite well, quite well! No

the poor old lady, kee

estates on both--whichis not being trouble

flight of stairs; butwe looked back as we went up, and she was still there, saying,still with a curtsy and a smile betwe