Love Me As I Am

I'm an orphan, no home, no friends, never felt love before and I have never been loved.

Although I have been told how beautiful I am when I walk on the streets, well, that was before now I am not really beautiful any more.

I never knew my parents, don't even know if I have a family, maybe they dump me in a dustbin or they lost me, really I don't know.

Been in the orphanage had been fun at first, but I was always mocked and bullied by other orphans and my mates.

The first orphanage that took me in, left me behind when we went for our trips, it was a rich orphanage, the second one I ran away from there because of their ill treatment towards me and I couldn't take it.

I just couldn't.

That day, I slept in the streets with my luggage only to wake up in the night and find out my clothes had been stolen.

Life had been unfair to me but I was happy they didn't take my novels cause I can't do without them, it calms me down.

I usually read them and listen to other people stories their famous, sad, painful story.

I got my stories from my first orphanage well, I was friendly to an old woman and she bought me books a lot of books.

When I read them, I have hope that one day it will all be over... I really hope so, I also pray a lot to God to change my predicament.

Many tragic and painful things have happened to me, I even got raped one of the the days that I was on the street, that day I cried out my heart, I cried till I feel asleep.

Why is this world so cruel and wicked.

At my age, I'm just too young to suffer like this, mommy why did you leave me.

Daddy where are you?

My country is hard and this world is beyond wicked.

I prayed to enter another orphanage before something else happen to me.

Few days later

I was walking on the streets with my black little bag...looking for some good to steal, I haven't eaten for hours an am so weak but I have to try.

I was walking pass a quiet street, and the thought of it give me goosebumps, I was about going back but unfortunately a man was blocking the place that I entered from.

"Not again." I said and ran forward.

I have seen that man before, he always follows me, he was also one of the guys who told me how beautiful I was.

I don't know what he wants me for but each time I see him I just use your remember the night I was raped, it still hunts me, mostly at night.

"Leave me alone." I ran and held my bag firmly while he trailed behind me.

His speed increased an and he got closer to me, I was really scared.

I was running and looking back too, I saw that he retreated and I faced forward to ran faster but instead bumped into a strange, mean looking, tall, weird and old lady.

And I was a little glad but still scared, if she leaves, he'll chase after me.

"What are you doing in this street?" Her cold voice rang in my head and I shivered.

"I.. I..don't know." I stuttered.

"Go home." She said.

"I don't have a home." I replied sadly.

"Where are your parents?" She asked.

"I don't know, I never knew them." I said.

"Hmm, come with me." She said and walked pass me.

"Where are we going?" I asked, but she just continued walking.

The last thing I want is for that man to have his chance to do all what God knows to me. So I quickly rushed after her and I watched as the man came out and went him way and I breath out a sigh of relief.

I'm young but am intelligent, and also a fast learner, I really really want to go to school at least I would be learning more things there.

The woman led me to a strange and expensive looking building that read "Children home", thank God, another orphanage, I would have died but God answered my prayers. We walked in and she handed me over to a strict looking lady.

"You're going to be safe here." She said, I nodded and she left.

"Follow me" The lady said strictly.

She took me to a room which had 6 beds which where arranged round the room.

They were 5 girls on each bed except one, it's probably mine.

"This is your room." The strict lady said and left.

A girl sends me a smile, "What's your name?"

It was the first time anyone every ask of my name.

"I'm Laura." I said. "What about you."

"Madison, but you can call me Maddy." she said.

"I'm Tammy." Another girl said.

"Patricia."

Cool names.

"I am Christy." She looked like the youngest in the room of girls.

They both stared at the last girl who looked like, about my age. She stood up and made her way to me.

"I'm the queen of this house, so you'll call me Queen Racheal." She said and moved her hip and I rolled my eyes.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me?"she asked.

It all seemed like a video game.

I don't know where I got the courage from.

"Yeah I did." I said fiercely.

She squinted at me. "I'll show you then." Before I know what was going on, she landed a slap on my face.

That does it.

We fought tooth and nail, while the other girls tried to seperate us, theorically speaking I gave her a hell of a beating.

When we were seperated, I saw how bruised her face and I was glad inside me.

Suddenly, the door squeaked open and the strict lady walked in holding a long whip which made me shiver.

"So, you first day here leads to a fight." She said coldly.

"No, she st... "

"Not only that, but you bruised my Rachel's face." She said and Rachel smiled.

"She even threatened me." She said.

"What?" I gasped.

If you want a threat that's what your gonna have.

"We don't th.."

"You filthy brat, you took your swim in your pride before as much you wanted, but as I'm here that stops now. And don't you ever lay a hand on me again."

"Do you know who I am?" She asked.

Like if I care.

"Yeah a bitch." I said and I heard giggle from the girls.

"I am older than you, I'm 15 and-"

"Great! We are the same age, sharing an age with you brat isn't even en-" I didn't even complete my sentence before I received some whips at my back.

* * *

I was crying on Maddy's laps after being flogged and whipped.

"What's the name of that woman?"

"Her name is Mrs Rose." She said.

She looks nothing like a rose.

"But, of course, she doesn't act like a rose." She said.

"Donn't worry, the pain will go away, very soon." Christy said.

Her cute smile, made me hold my tongue.

"Thanks guys, I appreciate it." I said.

"Even though I hardly know you all."

For the a long time in a while, I had meet people who I think I could call friends.