Three Men in a Boat

E" BOARDS. - UNCHRISTIANLIKE FEELINGS OFHARRIS. - HOW HARRIS SINGS A COMIC SONG. - A HIGH-CLASS PAR

thirdcourse - the bread and jam - when a gentleman in shirt-sleeves and ashort pipe came along, and wanted to know if we knew that we weretrespassing. We said we hadn't given the matter sufficient consid

emed to be dissatisfied, so we asked him if there wasanything further that we could do

breadand jam; for he declined it quite gruffly, as if he were vexed at

be done, and asked the manwhat was his idea wi

looks hard and bony, and the man measured him up and down, and saidhe would g

oodles in this way. They representthemselves as sent by the proprietor. The proper course to pursue is tooffer your name and address, and leave the owner, if he really hasanything to do with the matter, to summon you, and prove what damage y

me, they ought to be shownup. The selfishness o

way they would close th

to bank, and nail huge notice-boards on every tree. Thesight of those notice-boards rouses every evil instinct in my nature. Ifeel I want to tear each one do

kill the man whocaused the board to be put up, but that he should like to slaughter thewhole of his family and all his frien

e neverought to allow our instincts of justice to degenerate into merevindictiveness. It was a long while before I could get Harris to take amore Christian view

one of Harris's fixed ideasthat he CAN sing a comic song; the fixed idea, on the contrary, amongthose of Harris's f

y sing a COMIC song, you know;" and he says it in a tone that impliesthat his

dHarris gets up, and makes for the piano, with the beaming cheeriness

everybody" says the hos

rom the conservatory,and come up from the stairs, and go and fetch each other from all ov

Harris

n in the middle of a note, that he is too high, and comesdown with a jerk. You don't bother about time. You don't mind a manbeing two bars in front of

line, and snigger, and say, it's very funny, but he's blest if he canthink of the rest of it, and then try and make it up for himself, and,afterwards, suddenly recollect it, when he has got to an entirelydifferent pa

FRONT OF PIANO AND ADDR

ety to join in the chorus. Brilliantperformance of prelude to the Judge's song in "Trial by Jury" by nervousPianist. Moment arrives for Harris to join in. Harris takes no noticeof it. Nervous pianist commences prelude over again, and Harris,commencing singing at the same time, dashes off the first two lines o

IS'S (FROM THE BACK OF THE ROOM): "No, you're not, youchuckle-head, you're singing the Admiral's song from PINAFORE."[Long argument between Harris and Harris's friend as to what Harris isreally singing. Friend finally suggests that it doesn't matter whatHarris is singing so l

ARR

N BY HARRIS AS A COMPLIMENT. PIANIST,THINKING OF HIS WIFE AND FAMILY, GIVES UP

ny prelude."HARRIS (UPON WHOM THE EXPLANATION OF MATTERS HAS SLOWLY DAWNED -LAUGHING): "By Jove! I beg y

ROM THE CELLAR, AND SUGGESTING THEFIRST L

served a termAs office-b

nd."[SINGS FIRST TWO LINES OVER AGAIN, IN A HIGH FALSETTO THIS TIME. GREATSURPRISE ON THE

S (cont

front door. And I polished upthe floor - no, dash it - I beg your pardon - funny thing, I can't

dle-diddle-diddle-de,Till now I a

it is the last two li

ERAL

rris never sees what an ass he is making of himself, and how he isannoying a lot of people who never did him an

t which I once assisted; which, as it throws much light uponthe inner mental wo

ty, and were very happy - all except two youngfellows, students, just returned from Germany, com

hedconversation, and our high-class tastes, were beyond them. They we

greed upon th

iscussed philosophyand ethics. We flirted with gracefu

wasbeautiful; and then a lady sang a sentimental ballad in S

ever heardHerr Slossenn Boschen (who had just arrived, and was

heard it, that

t Herr Slossenn Boschen, whom theyknew very well, to sing it. They said it was so funny that, when HerrSlosse

reciting atragedy, and that, of course, made it all the funnier. They said henever once suggested by his tone or manner that he was

wanted a good laugh; and they wentdowns

ing it, for he came up at once, andsat

e two young men, asthey passed through the room, and to

song exactly. It was a weird, soulful air. It quite made one'sflesh creep; but w

here to guess myignorance; so I hit upon what I thought to be rather a good idea. I keptmy eye on the two young students, and followed them. When they tittered,I tittered; when they roar

ll as myself. Theseother people also tittered when the young men tittered, and roared whenthe young men roared; and, as the

nner was halfthe humour. The slightest hint on his part that he knew how funny he waswould have completely ruined it all. As we continued to laugh, hissurprise gave way to an air of annoyance and indignation, and he scowledfiercely round upon us all (except upon th

, but for our being forewarnedas to the German method of comic singing, we should have been nervous;and he threw s

was that, in the face of things like these, there should be a popularnotion that the Germans hadn't any sense of humour. And we asked thePro

judge to be a singularly effective language forthat purpose), and he danced, and shook his fis

theair; and then, in the last verse, he jilted her spirit, and went on withanother spirit - I'm not quite sure of the details, but it was somethingvery sad, I know. Herr Boschen said he had sung it once b

We looked around for the two young men who had done this thing,but they had l

party break up so quietly,and with so little fus

d the servant for our hats and coats in whispers, andopened the door for ourselves, an

much interest in Ge

sweetly prettyjust there before you come to the gates, an

e, and they said, oh, yes, theythought so, if I pulled hard. We were just under the little foot-bridgethat cros

d itwas a pleasure to watch me. At the end of five minutes, I thought weought to be pretty near the weir, and I looked up. We were under thebridge, in exactly the same spot that we were when I began, and there

ht fancy it was a village of somehalf-dozen houses, all told. Windsor and Abingdon are the only townsbetween London and Oxford that you can really see anything of from thestream. All

nd make hideousas much of the river as it can reach, is good

erman. Also Queen Elizabeth, she was there, too. You can never get awayfrom that woman, go where you will. Cromwell and Bradshaw (not

in ancient days for curbing women's tongues. They have given upthe attempt n

hink of them, and wewent on. Above the bridge the river winds tremendously. This makes itlook picturesque; but it irritate

on the right bank here.

d to be very wonderful; but I cannot see much in itmyself. The late Duchess of York, who lived at Oatlands, was very fondof dogs, and kept an immense number. She ha

serve it quite as much as

unus had prepared theriver for Caesar, by planting it full of stakes (and had, no doubt, putup a notice-board). But Caesar

, however, with a poem on it, and I wasnervous lest Harris should want to get out and fool round it. I saw himfix a longing eye on the landing-stage as we drew near it, so I ma

oexplore, and never have), the Bourne, and the Basingstoke Canal all enterthe Thames together. The lock is just opposite the town, and the firs

at, and yelled back. The lock-keeper rushed out with a drag,under the impression tha

rcel in his hand. It wasround and flat at one en

e, with a strange, wild look glittering in his eyes;"they are

you played the banjo!" cried

but it's very easy, they tell me;